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← The Equinox (Volume III, Number I)
1919 · CLOSE READING

The Equinox (Volume III, Number I)

The Equinox (Volume III, Number I) (1919), PDF p. 158

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THE EQUINOX of sweet nectar to a thirsty pilgrim, and it is wonderful how much better I feel. The note re Neophytes and Probationers has set me at rest about the silence of Fra P.A.; and confirms, what all the while I have suspected, that his delay in answering is a test. This confirmation is cheering, however hard the trial may have been, in so far as I had made up my mind to work on, whether he writes or not, and had got quite used to the idea of having to work out my own Path, without outside aid or encouragement. He was also pleased to find some of his own experiments more or less confirmed in Liber H.H.H. of which he writes: M.M.M. 2, ‘mentions the breath playing upon the skin, etc.’ I have experienced this, and asked Fra P.A. for instructions thereon. Sometimes, after hard breath- ing, I have been filled with the sensation. I think I understand the ‘lightning flash,’ but shall experiment. My present knowledge is more as a sheet of summer lightning. The minute point of light has often appeared to me, and I had come to the conclusion that it should be held in the zenith. The radiating cone, I have not experienced. II. A.A.A. The idea of considering one’s own death is men- tioned. This occurred to me and was carried out before by first Illumination; this serves as a confirmation that I was on the right track. I should have no doubt mentioned these meditations more fully at the time.! I have often won- dered how I got into the state I then experienced, and this copy of Taz Equinox has revived the memory and gives instruction for obtaining, no doubt, a very much fuller result, only I shall have to work with a big W. June 12, 1911. On Saturday night, in bed I attempted “thinking backwards” and successfully managed two days, with no breaks in the first day, and practi- cally none for the day before, except a few little incidents during office hours in the morning. When I came to thoughts on waking of Saturday morning and got to the “blank” I experienced some mental visions and ‘telephone-cross voices,’ but cannot say if they were connected with any dream; then suddenly I found myself lying in bed with the last thoughts of the previous night in mind. Yes- terday, I read the article on the subject (Training of the Mind) carefully, also learnt the formula of the four great meditations on Love, Pity, Happiness and Indifference. At night, I again attempted “thinking backwards,” but experienced rather more difficulty as conditions were bad. However, once started, I got back through Sunday and very nearly, if not quite as fully, over the two previous 1 Observe how the least slackness in writing up the Record avenges itself. The Record is both chart and log to the bold Sea-Captains of The Voyage Marvelous! 150
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