Konx Om Pax

3o KONX OM PAX SCENE. Practicable Drawing-room littered with innumerable sheets of double Elephant Whatman paper, about to be an impracticable Table of Correspondences. A roaring fire. Sofas and Chairs. In presenting this play before a British audience, the Manager should comeforward and say: “ Ladies and Gentlemen, owing to the severe indzspositzon of the Author, no obscene jests will be found to occur in the dialogue of this play. The actors have, however, been instructed to pause and wink atfrequent intervals, when you are at liberty to imagine an unusually profound and peculiarly foul double entendre. We have also gone to the expense of hiring people to sit in the stalls and start the laughs, so that there is no excuse whatever for any ofyou to complain of having passed an unprurient evening.” The scene rises. The Bones FAMILY and MR. BOWLEY sitting round the fire. U17 stage, MRS. P .. TR .. CK C .. MPB .. LL chased by MR. M..RT..N H..RV..Y runsofi'R. andbarhs hershin on a chair. Mrs. P. C‘. I am not happy! I am not happy! 0 leyndyvaine, what shall I say? Mr. M H. Most people would say Damn, ma belle Mygrainel Mrs. P. C. [Aside.] If Maeterlinck gives meaname likeaheadache, will not Shaw call me simply a cough-drop? [ExiL Prompter. [Angn'ly.] The Truth! Mr. .M. H. The Truth! The Truth! The Truth! [Exit Blare of Trumpets. Mrs. Bones. A truce to this theatrical follyl More cofi‘ee, Mr. Bowley? Bowley. Please. I hope you will forgive me, Mrs. Bones, but in honour of the festive season, and as relaxation of our severe labours upon the Table of Correspondences, I have taken the liberty of