11.30,
I 2.20.
12.50.
1.35.
1.45.
2.25.
JOHN ST. JOHN
White Brilliance absorbed him, overcame him; for he
could not pass therethrough.
This went on repeating
itself, the man transformed (as it were) into a mighty
Battering Ram hurling itself again and again against
the Walls of the City of God to breach them.—And
as yet he has failed.
Failed.
Failed.
Physical and
mental exhaustion are fairly complete.
Adonai, look with favour upon Thy slave
!
He has walked, reciting the Ritual, to Dr. R
and
H
for lunch.
They have forgotten the appoint-
ment, so he continues and reaches Lavenue’s at 12.4
after reading his letters and doing one or two necessary
things.
He orders Epinards, Tarte aux Praises, Glace
au Café, and % Evian.
The distaste for food is great;
and for meat amounts to loathing.
The weather is
exceedingly hot; it may be arranged thus by Adonai
to enable John St. John to meditate in comfort.
For
he is vowed solemnly “to interpret every phenomenon
as a particular dealing of God with his soul.”
During lunch he will go on correcting his proofs.
Lunch over, and the proofs read through.
He will make a few decorations further in his Ritual,
and perhaps design the Frontispiece and Colophon.
He is very weary, and may sleep.
He has done the illumination, as far as may be.
He
will now lie down as
Hanged
Man, and
invoke
Adonai.
101