9.17.
9-45-
ΙΟ.ΙΟ.
IO.20.
JOHN ST. JOHN
And to Thee, and from Thee,
Ο thou great god
Destiny, there is no appeal.
Thou turnest not one
hair’s breadth from Thy path appointed.
That which ”John St. John" means (else is it a blank
name) is that which he must be—and what is that?
The issue is with Thee—cannot one wait with fortitude,
whether it be for the King’s Banqueting-House or for
the Headsman and the Block?
Breakfast—croissant, sandwich, 2 coffees.
Concen-
trating !?#”the Work as well as possible.
Arrived at Brenner’s studio.
The rest has produced
one luminous idea: why not end it all with destruction ?
Say a great ritual of Geburah, curses, curses, curses!
John St. John ought not to have forgotten how to
curse.
In his early days at Wastdale Head people
would travel miles to hear him!
Curse all the Gods and all the demons—all those
things in short which go to make up John St. John.
For timi—as he now knows—is the Name of the great
Enemy, the Dweller upon the Threshold.
It was that
mighty spirit whose formless horror beat him back, for
it was he!
So now to return to concentration and the Will toward
Adonai.
One thing is well; the vow of " interpreting every
phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my
soul” is keeping itself.
Whatever impression reaches
the consciousness is turned by it into a symbol or a
simile of the Work.
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