10.27.
1 I .47.
12.19.
1 2.33.
JOHN ST. JOHN
Let it!
I’m going on.
The first power to return is the power to suffer.
The shame of itl
The torture of it!
I slept in patches as a man sleeps that is deadly ill.
I
am only afraid of failing to wake for the End of the
day.
God! what a day!
.
. . I dare not trust my will to keep me awake; so I
rise, wash, and will walk about till time to get into my
Asana.
Thirst!
Oh how I thirst!
I had not thought that there could be such suffering.
The Eleventh Day
It seems a poor thing to be proud of, merely to be
awake.
Yet I was flushed with triumph as a boy that
wins his first race.
The powers of Asana and Pranayama return.
I did
21 Breath-cycles without fatigue.
Energy returns, and Keenness to pursue the Path—all
fruits of that one little victory over sleep.
How delicate are these powers, so simple as they seem !
Let me be very humble, now and for ever more !
Surely at least that lesson has been burnt into me.
And how gladly I would give all these powers for the
One Power
!
Another smart attack of diarrhoea.
I take
4 gr.
Plumb. c. Opio and alter my determination to stay out
of bed all night, as chill is doubtless the chief cause.
.
.
. It is really extraordinaryhow the smallest success
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