John St. John

12.15. 12.34. 12.57. .!.ס 1.5. 735- 34 THE EQUINOX I want that definite experience in the very same sense as Abramelin had it; and what’s more, I mean to go on till I get it. I begin, therefore, in Hanged Man posture, to invoke the Angel, within the Pyramid already duly prepared by DCLXXI. Alas! in vain have I tried even the supreme ritual of Awaiting the Beloved, although once I thought Ah ! give unto Thy beloved in sleep! How ashamed I should be, though! For an earthly lover one would be on tiptoe of excitement, trembling at every sound, eager, afraid . . . I will, however, rise and open (as for a symbol) the door and the window. Oh that the door of my heart were ever open! For He is always there, and always eager to come in. I rise and open unto my Beloved. . . . May it be granted unto me in the daylight of this day to construct from DCLXXI a perfect ritual of self-initiation, so as to avoid the constant difficulty of assuming various God-forms. Then let that ritual be a constant and perfect link between Us . . . so that at all times I may be perfect in Thy Knowledge and Conversation, Ο mine Holy Guardian Angel! to whom I have aspired these ten years past. And though as it may seem I now compose myself to sleep, I await Thee . . . I await Thee! I arise from sleep, mine eyes a little weary, my soul fresh, my heart restored.