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1909 · CLOSE READING

John St. John

John St. John (1909), PDF p. 68

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5.40. 557- 6.30. 7.10. THE EQUINOX But it has done no good as far as energy is concerned. I’m just as bad or worse than I was on the day which I have called the day of Apophis (third day). The only thing to my credit is the way I’ve kept the mantra going. One thing at least is good; if anything does come of this great magical retirement—which I am beginning to doubt—it will not be mixed up with any other enthusiasm, poetic, venereal, or bacchanalian. It will be purely mystici But as it has not happened yet—- and just at present it seems incredible that it should happen—I think we may change the subject. . . . . What a fool I am, by the way! Isay that " He is God, and that there is no other God than He” 1800 times an hour; but I don‘t think it even once a day. All my energy has suddenly come back. Was it that Hatha—Yoga sandwich? I go on copying the Ritual. Copying finished. I will go and dine, and learn it by heart, humbly and thoughtfully. The illumination of it can be finished, with a little luck, in two more days. I am disinclined to use the Ritual until it is beautifully coloured. As Zoroaster saith : “ God is never so much turned away from man, and never so much sendeth him new paths, as when he maketh ascent to divine speculations or works, in a confused or disordered manner, and (as the oracle adds) with unhallowed lips, or unwashed feet. For of those who are thus
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