JOHN ST. JOHN
10.55. evil in truth, because only that is evil (in one sense)
which does not lead to Adonai.
(In another sense, all
is evil which is not Adonai.)
And of course I had the
insane idea that this ritual would serve to stimulatemy
devotion.
For the information of the Z.A.M., I may
explain that this ritual pertained to Saturn in Libra;
and, though right enough in its own plane, is a dog—
faced demon in this operation.
Is it, though?
I am
so blind that I can no longer decide the simplest
problems.
Else, I see so well, and am so balanced,
that I see both sides of every question.
In chess-blindness one used to abjure the game.
I
never tried to stick it through ; Iwish Ihad.
Anyhow,
I have to stick this through I
O Lord of the Eye, let thine Eye be ever open upon
me!
For He that watcheth Israel doth not slumber
nor sleep !
Lord Shiva, open Thou the Eye upon me, and consume
me altogether in its brilliance!
Destroy this Universe!
Eat up thine hermit in thy
terrible jaws!
Dance Thou upon this prostrate saint
of Thine!
.
.
. I suffer from thirst
.
.
. it is a thirst of the
body
.
.
. yet the thirst of the soul is deeper, and
impossible to quench.
Lord Adonai
!
Let the Powers of Geburah plunge me
again and again into the Fires of Pain, so that my steel
may be tempered to that Sword of Magic that invoketh
Thy Knowledge and Thy Conversation.
Hoor! Elohim Gibor! Kamael! Seraphim! Graphic]!
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