THE EQUINOX
9.30. Yet here answers me the everlasting Yea and Amen:
86
Thou canst not give up, for I will bring thee through.
Yet here I lie, stripped of all magic force, doubting my
own peace and faith, farther from Adonai than ever
before—and yet—and yet—-
Do I not know that every error is a necessary step in
the Path?
The longest way round is the shortest way
home.
But it is disgusting!
There‘s a grim humour
in it, too.
The real Devil of the Operation must be
sitting with sardonic grin upon his face, enjoying my
perplexity
For that Dweller-of-the—Threshold-thought was not as
dead as I supposed
; as Iwrite he comes again and again,
urging me to quit the Path, to abandon the unequal
contest.
Luckily, friend Dweller, you prove too much
1
Your anxiety shows me that I am not as far from
attainment as my own feelings would have me think.
At least, though, I am thrown into the active again
; I
shall rise and chant the Enochian Calls and invoke the
Bornless One, and clear a few of the devils away, and
get an army of mighty angels around me—in short,
make another kind of fool of myself, I wonder?
Anyway, I’ll do it.
Not a bad idea to ask Thoth to
send me Taphtatharath with a little information as to
the route—I do not know where I am at all.
This is
a strange country, and I am very lonely.
This shall be my ritual.
I. Banishing Pentagram Ritual.
2. Invoking ditto.
[These will appear in No. 2,
“ Liber 0.”—ED.]