Collected Works (Vol. II)

264 THE EXCLUDED MIDDLE; OR, THE SCEPTIC REFUTED that of Excluded Middle,! 4 and taken together constitute the Universe. Mf. That is a proposition easy to criticise. What of the line of demarcation between A and not-A? To A it is not-A, I suppose ; Lo z0t-A it is A. S. Asin defining the boundaries of nations— Gallia est divisa in partes tres — we may suppose that half the line is of 4, and half of not-A, M. No; fora line cannot be longitudin- ally split, or bifurcated in a sense parallel with itself. As Patanjali hints in his Kama Linga Sharira—that most delicate of Eastern psychologico - physiologico - philoso- phical satires—‘t Bare Sahib ne khansamah- ko bahut rupaiya diya hai.” 5S. The Ethic Dative! But your conten- tion is true, unless we argue with Aristotle WKEES TTPOVOoL TeEpt yas weAavas and so on, M. I was sure you would not seriously defend so untenable a position. S. The eleemosynary functions of the— Jigar, I fancy the Vedas have it-— Al. Yes— S. Forbid. Af. Then do you accept the conclusions of the Hegelian logic ? S. My logic begins with the Stagyrite and ends with a manual kunt. I shall not sur- render without a struggle. [ am not an Achilles to be wounded in the heel. M. Then the wound is healed? Forgive me if I trespass on the preserves of Max Beerbohm,® and your other ripping cosmo- politan wits ! nt0t-A 1 Sir W. Hamilton’s proposed quantification of the predicate would serve in this instance. We have to combine the propositions: All A is all A. All A is not all zot-A. No 4 is not no zot-A. Fantastic as it seems, this is the simplest of the eighty-four primary ways of expressing these three laws in a single proposition. No zot-A is not no some not zot-A. * A distinguished author on philosophical and kindred subjects. See his ‘‘ works.’’ John Lane,» 1894. b Lane—a long one, with neither variable- 5S. No, for I say that the line is, like the Equator, imaginary. ness nor shadow of turning. Christian name John.¢ * Not to be confused with John, the beloved disciple, who wrote ‘‘ Caliban 4 on Patmos.” # d A dwarfish imiscreate, celebrated in the works of Browning and Shakespeare (W.).° e Dramatic author, flourished A.D. 1600 circa; wrote The Tempest!, Susannah, or, The Two Gentlemen of Veronica's Garden, The Manxman, and other plays. f A garbled version of this was misbegotten in A.D. 1904 on a J.ondon stage; the worst actor of a dreadful crew, in spite of his natural aptitude for the part of Caliban (¢.v. supra, note d), being one Beerbohm Tree.#% ® Tree, because such a stick. Beerbohni— vide supra, note a, I take this opportunity to introduce my system of continuous footnotes, on the analogy of continuous fractions. In this case they are recurring—a great art in itself, though an error ineso far that they fail to sub- serve the great object of all footnotes, viz. to distract the attention of the reader. h Text appended :— CALIBAN ON. PATMOS. Being the Last Adventure of the Beloved Disciple. [CoME, kids, lambs, doves, cubs, cuddle! Hear ye John Pronounce on the primordial protoplast Palingenetic, palzeontologic, And beat that beggar’s bleeding NWN IA With truth veracious, aletheiac, true! John ye hear. Cuddle, cubs, doves, lambs, kids, come !] First, God made heav’n, earth: Earth gauche, void; deep, dark. God's Ghost stirred sea, God said ‘ Light!" "Twas. ‘Saw light, Good, split off dark, call’d light ‘day,’ dark ‘night.’ Eve, Morn, day I. ‘Said, ‘‘’Twixt wets be air, split wets !"’ ‘Madeair, split wets ‘neath air, wets top air; so. Call’d air ‘heav'n.’ Eve, morn, day II. ‘Said, ‘* Low wets, Cling close, show earth.” So. ‘Call’d dry ‘earth,’ wet ‘sea.’ Rubbed hands, smacked lips, said ‘ good.’ [Here John was seized By order of Augustus. He maintained, In spite of the imperial holograph, ‘My seizer must be Caesar,” with a smile: And for persisting in his paradox Was disembowelled : so Genesis got square.]