A Cigar is like a Wife 
 
Originally published in the November 
1916 edition of  A Dictionary of Similes. 
 
 
A cigar is like a wife! 
Put it up to your lips, and light it; 
When you’ve learned to do it right, it 
Adds a certain zest to life. 
Mind you keep on puffing it, 
Or it’s out, and can’t be lit. 
Ah, the aroma! 
Ah, the glow! 
Will I have one? 
Thank you, No. 
 
—ALEISTER CROWLEY