1905 · CLOSE READING
Collected Works (Vol. I)
Collected Works (Vol. I) (1905), PDF p. 39
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32
SONGS OF THE SPIRIT
Now backwards, inwards still my mind
Must track the intangible and blind,
And seeking, shall securely find
Hidden in secret places
Fresh feasts for every soul that strives,
New life for many mystic lives,
and strange new forms and faces.
My mind still searches, and attains
By many days and many pains
To That which Is and Was and reigns
Shadowed in four and ten,!
And loses self in sacred lands,
And cries and quickens, and understands
Beyond the first Amen.”
THE ALCHEMIST.
THIS POEM WAS INTENDED AS THE PRO-
LOGUE ‘YO A PLAY—AT PRESENT UN-
FINISHED.?
An old tower, very lofty, on a small and
rocky islet, Inthe highest chamber aman
of some forty years, but stlver-haired, looks
out of the window. Clear starry night,
no moon. Chamber furnished with books,
alchemtc instruments, etc. He gazes some
minutes, stzhs deeply, but at last speaks.
THE world moves not.
abyss,
Look down into the black unfathomed vault
Of starland and behold—myself.
I gaze upon the
The sea
To give a sense of motion or of sound
Washes the walls of this grey tower in vain ;
I contemplate myself in that dim sphere
Whose hollow centre I am standing at
With burning eyes intent to penetrate
‘The black circumference, and find out God-—
1 Jehovah, the name of 4 letters. 1+2+
3+4=10.
2 ‘The first Amen is=91 or 7x13. The
second is the Inscrutabie Amoun.
3°¢°'The Poisoners,” finished later, but dis-
carded as over-Tourncuresque,
And only see myself. The walls of Space
Mock me with silence. What is Life? The
stars
Are silent. O ye matchless ministers
That daily pass in your appointed ways
To reach—we know not what! How mean-
ingless
Your bright assemblage and your steady task
Of doubtful motion. And the soul of man
Grapples in death-pangs with your mystery,
And fails to wrestle down the hard embrace
That grips the thighs of thought. And so he
dies
To pass beyond ye—whither? To find God?
All my life long I have gazed, and dreamed,
and thought,
Unless my thought itself were but a dream,
A little, troubled dream, a dream of death
Whence I may wake—ah, where? In some
new world
Where Consciousness doth touch the Infinite,
And all the strivings of the soul be found
Sufficient to beat back the waves of doubt,
To pierce the void, and grasp the glorious,
To find out Truth? Would God it might be
SO,
Since here is nothing for the soul to love
Or cling to beyond self. My chamberlain
Once showed me a pet slave, dwarf, savage,
black,
A vile, lewd creature, who would cast a staff?
Far wheeling through the air :—‘twould
suddenly
Break its swift course, and curving rapidly
Come hard upon himself who threw. Even so
These vile deformities—our souls—cast forth
Missiles of thought, and seek to reach some
end
With swift imagining—and end in self.
What sage? called God the image of man’s
self
He sees cast dimly on a bank of cloud,
Thrice his own size? AndI whose life has
been
[Cry without.
1 A boomerang.
2 The image is Crowley’s own, drawn from
the Spectre of the Brocken,
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