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1922 · CLOSE READING

Diary of a Drug Fiend

Diary of a Drug Fiend (1922), PDF p. 19

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A Knight Out 5 Universe but you and the Boche you are trying to pot. There is something detached and god-like about it. And when I found myself put out on the streets by a grateful country, I became an entirely different animal. In fact, I’ve often thought that there isn’t any “1” at all; that we are simply the means of expression of something else; that when we think we are ourselves, we are simply the victims of a delusion. Well, bother that! The plain fact is that I had become a desperate wild animal. I was too hungry, so to speak, even to waste any time on thinking bitterly about things. And then came the letter from the lawyers. That was another new experience. I had no idea before of the depths to which servility could descend. “ By the way, Sir Peter,’’ said Mr. Wolfe, ‘it will, of course, take a little while to settle up these matters. It’s a very large estate, very large. But I thought that with times as they are, you wouldn’t be offended, Sir Peter, if we handed you an open cheque for a thousand pounds just to go on with.” It wasn’t till I had got outside his door that I realised how badly he wanted my business. He need not have worried. He had managed poor old Uncle Mortimer’s affairs well enough all those years; not likely I should bother to put them in the hands of a new man. The thing that really pleased me about the whole business was the clause in the will. That old crab had sat in his club all through the war, snapping at every- body he saw; and yet he had been keeping track of what I was doing. He said in the will that he had made me his heir ‘‘ for the splendid services I had rendered to our beloved country in her hour of need.” That’s the true Celtic psychology. When we've all finished talking, there’s something that never utters a word, but goes right down through the earth, plumb to the centre. And now comes the funny part of the business. I discovered to my amazement that the desperate wild
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