Diary of a Drug Fiend

Below the Brutes 197 feet when he swung back into the room and snapped with genuine feeling:—. “God damn it, what a fool Iam! Why didn't you tip me the wink? We ought to have played up to him and got some heroin out of him. This morning has taken everything out of me. I don’t care about saving myself. I know I can’t save Peter. Why must a woman always have a man for her motive ? All I want is H. Both Cockie and I need it heHishly. “Look here, Lou,’ he said with a cunning grin, such as I’d never seen before, quite out of keeping with his character. ‘‘ You doll yourself up and try the doctors. A man told me last night that there were some who would give you a prescription if you paid them enough. A tenner ought to do the trick.” He pulled some dirty crumpled notes out of his trousers’ pocket. “Here you are. For God’s sake, don’t be long.” I was as keen as he was. All the will to stop had been washed out of me when Basil went. My self-respect was annihilated. | Yet I think it was reluctance to go that kept me hanging about on the pretence of attending to my toilet. Peter watched me with approval. There was a hateful gleam in his eye, and I loved it. We were both de- graded through and through. We had reached the foul straw of the sty. There was something warm and comfortable about snuggling up to depravity. We had realised the ideal of our perversion. .. . I went to my own doctor. Peter had put me up to symptoms ; but he wasn’t taking any. He talked.about change of climate and diet and the mixture to be taken three times a day. I saw at once it was no good by the way he jumped when I mentioned heroin first. All I could do was to get out of the old fool’s room without losing face... . I didn’t know what to do next. I felt like Morris