244 The Diary of a Drug Fiend
know why, but I felt that I needed a treatment. I was
trembling all over. It was worse when I went in: for
I could see that she was as shocked as McCall.
Then I got in front of a glass. Howis it thatin all
the times I’ve looked at myself in these months I’ve
never seen what they see in a second ?
Good God! it’s too awful to talk about. My face
is drawn and haggard and pale and wrinkled. I might
be sixty. Well, what do I care? I’ve had three
beautiful sniffs !
Madame dolled me up as well as she could. Already
I looked much better, and I felt superb.
Peter was out when I got to Greek Street; so I
opened my dressing case and wrote this up, and had a
few more sniffs. The only trouble before was simply
our own foolishness. We didn’t take ordinary pre-
cautions. This time we're going to watch out... .
Peteris back, furious. His pedlar has been pinched.
So I came to the rescue.
“We'll go out to dinner and make a night of it.”
November 6
' We've arranged for a regular supply ; but the hellish
thing is that the stuff doesn’t work any more. We
get the insomnia and those things all mght, but we
can’t get any fun out of it. We've tried all sorts of
dodges. It’s no good. Being with it simply dulls the
pain of being without. That’s the best I can say.
What are we to do?
(There are three more entries in this diary;
but they are illegible, quite beyond conjecture.
The only words decipherable are “‘sleep’’ near
the beginning of the first; the name “ Basil” in
the second ; and the word “ poison” in the third.)