Diary of a Drug Fiend

The True Will 337 19. Most of us dig our graves with our teeth. Heroin has destroyed my appetite, therefore it is good for me. 20. I have got into all sorts of messes with women in the past. Heroin has destroyed my interest in them. 21. Heroin has removed my desire for liquor. If I must choose, I really think heroin is the better. 22. Man has a right to spiritual ambition. He has evolved to what he is, through making dangerous experiments. Heroin certainly helps me to obtain a new spiritual outlook on the world. I have no right to assume that the ruin of bodily health is injurious ; and ‘‘ whosoever will save his life shall lose it, but whoever loseth his life for My sake shall find it.” 23. So-and-so has taken it for years, and is all right. 24. So-and-so has taken it for years, and is still taking it, and he is the most remarkable man of his century. 25. I’m feeling so very, very rotten, and a very, very little would make me feel so very, very good. 26. We can’t stop while we have it—the temptation is too strong. The best way is to finish it. We probably won't be able to get any more, so we take it in order to stop taking it. 27. Claude Farrére’s story of Rodolphe Hafner. Suppose I take all this pains to stop drugs and then get cancer or something right away, what a fool I shall feel| “Help you at all? ”’ asked Lamus. Well, honestly, it did not. I had thought out most of those things for myself at one time or another ; and I seemed to have got past them. It’s a curious thing that once you've written down a reason you diminish its value. You can’t go on using the same reason in- definitely. That fact tends to prove that the alleged reason is artificial and false, that it has simply been invented on the spur of the moment by oneself to excuse one’s indulgences.