1954 · CLOSE READING
Magick Without Tears
Magick Without Tears (1954), PDF p. 414
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FEAR
381
and the other boys were not sympathetic about kidneys,
regarding them mostly as satisfactory parts of the body to
punch.
Imagine my misery! The most powerful of all my
passions-bar sloth-is Pride; and here was I, the object of
universal contempt. So, when I was able to determine my
own way of life, I observed mildly "Pike's Peak or bust!" and
chose for my sports the two, mountain
climbing and
big-game shooting, reputed the most dangerous. It was a
desperate remedy, but it worked. No half measures, either! I
used to wander into the jungle alone, looking for tigers, and
trusting to my sense of direction to take me back to camp.
All my mountain climbing was guideless, and a very great
deal of it solitary.
Well, this is not an example for you to copy, is it? But it
gives an idea of the principle "Take the bull by the horns." A
practice easier to imitate was this following. In most great
cities, always in Eastern cities, are black slums. Here one may
find blind alleys, dark doorways open to unlighted houses.
One may explore such places, looking for adventure-and it
was rather a point of honour to accept the challenge in
whatever form it took. Again, one may walk with deliberate
carelessness into the traffic; this practice does not in my
considerable
experience,
conduce
to one's personal
popularity . Another idea was to hasten to cholera-stricken
cities, to places where Yellow Jack, plague, typhoid and
typhus, dysentery (et haec turba rnalarum) were endemic;
and (of course) big-game hunting takes one to the certainty
of malarial fever, with no doctors (or worse, Bengali
doctors!) within many a league.
The general principle seems to be "This boat carries Caesar
and his Fortunes!" and no doubt Pride in its most Satanic
degree is one's greatest asset. But the essence of the practice,
as a practice, is to seek out and to face what one fears. Do
not forget that courage implies fear-what else should fear be
useful for?
Of course, fears differ greatly both in quality and in
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