Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

THE AUTOMATIC GIRL I The march of science in the land now marks an- other stride : Not all in vain was Darwin’s pain, that Bruno lived and died. From Newton’s toil we gain the oil to ease men’s woes that whirl. We now produce for public use the Automatic Girl. II She’s warmed by electricity ; she wags her arse by steam, Her eye displays Marconi rays, a chemist makes her cream. An antiseptic pussy-cat assures suspicious churls That Jonathan has guaranteed our Automatic Girls. III Besides these marks of progress there’s another gain to reap. French girls are dear and Dutch, I tear, are dirty, if they’re cheap. We cater for the wants of all — a humble brown may twirl Its easy passage through the slot of the Automatic Girl. [135]