Micturating Mary 
 
 
The well-bred wife of a high-church parson 
Had a daughter fair and merry 
Who kept twelve hours a day her arse on 
The fine old family jerry. 
She poured such a stream of waters vital 
From a cunt so slimy and hairy 
That the Bishop of London gave her the title 
Of Micturating Mary. 
 
One day they were praying in church for rain 
When the heavens above with a roar rent : 
Came sizzle and splash on the window pane, 
And the road swirled down with the torrent. 
Cried the vicar :  “ How quickly it’s come to pass ! 
Let’s thank the Lord for his blessing ! ” 
But his wife whispered “ Hush !  You silly old ass ! 
It’s only our Mary — confessing ! ” 
 
Her father’s curate entered her room 
With the fixed intention of fucking her ; 
But she went Pss-boom-whz-brr-pss-boom 
In spite of the corks she had stuck in her. 
With her virgin cunt he lustily grapples, 
For she saucily, randily beckoned ; 
But she had to let go, and his rotten apples 
Were washed away in a second. 
 
She angrily wired for Sir Walter Blunt 
“ Come ;  bring down your scalpel and skewer, 
And give me cunt that is cunt 
For a cunt that is only a sewer ! ” 
[139]