1904 · CLOSE READING
Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden
Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden (1904), PDF p. 46
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offered the squittery slime of her arsegut and the
slithery spunkings of her force-pump, as well as
the no less fuck-smoothed dumb-oracle, her blub-
ber potato-trap.
To me ! To me ! To me all the juicy gamahu-
ches of the morning !
To me the fucks that give one zest for lunch !
To me the buggerings of the early afternoon, and
the bub and armpit joys that occupy the wise from
five oclock to dinner. To me the nameless rap-
tures of the evening and the night ! O fuck-
ing ! What fun you are !
Sweet, when the morn is grey ;
Sweet, when they clear away
Lunch, and at close of day
Possibly sweetest.
But I am forgetting. The passion of the wild
Bedawi for his untiring steed is indeed a theme for
the noblest of poets. Here he indicated the
camel Hassan with an airy wave of the hand, at the
same time with incomparable dexterity directing
the vast battering-ram into, and engulfing it
within, his pile-ridden and fistula-riddled bung-
hole is a camel. See with what joy he plunges in
my turd-pipe ! How his love-lobes bang against my
bum ! How he spurts his Scotch broth into my
very colon ! By the way, did I ever tell you how
the K..g of E.....d missed his coronation ? I
shook my head and the tip of my Timothy-tool in
negation. It was thus, continued the Archbishop,
while the camel still played the part of Captain
Shaw, a type rather of true love let loose than kept
under, sending his foaming cream, like an adver-
tisement of a shaving-stick, into the steaming guts
of the enthusiastic celibate. King E....d, while yet
P....e of W...s, had, as you know, indulged in every
form of vice. But no ! Though the plug-tail of Fred
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