Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

The jargonelle of this wonderful man merits a careful description, but I am so tired of dictating this rotten book, so anxious to devote myself as closely to this sweet beast as he is devoted to me, that you will get but a perfunctory one. It had all the qualities of the pseudopodia of the Amoeba. Get out your Marshall and Hurst, and read up Amoeba, and you will know as much as I do. Little by little he advanced this engine into the palpitating cavity of the bona roba both by front and rear. Her uterus soon filled up, but for one and a half hours the giant tentacle of the wily Kluckchoo pressed up her hairy arsehole, and filled her greasy guts to bursting. Groping about in the dark with his exquisitely sensitive and per- fectly trained tool, he at last found the lady’s Ap- pendix, into the narrow orifice of which he pushed voluptuously and there spunked out his love-lap. The spending anonyma fainted with pleasure, and the cautious Kluckchoo withdrew, only to be summoned in all haste to the royal apartments three days later, when Mrs Arthur disclosed her find to her keeper. To make a long story short, the K..g was so de- lighted with the Appendix-fuck of Kluckchoo, that he did absolutely nothing else all day and all night. Affairs of state went by the board, and to the cringing official who dared to remind him of his approaching coronation, he replied : Bugger the Coronation ! This language shocked the prudish English, and damaged the K..g’s popularity in Non- conformist circles. His surgeons took a heroic course. While the royal pathic lay in the delirious trance of Kluckchoo’s emissions, they chloroformed him, and removed the little sac whose naughtiness had so nearly destroyed the Coburg loaf. When the K..g was made sensible of his loss his fury was ter- rible : but the effect of a long convalescence, absti- [46]