a Teacup, my blessed little bag-of-tricks, was ever 
on the qui vive for a punk’s cuntlet, and a good old 
go at Cully-shangy.  But now — He broke off and 
shed a silent tear.  Reaching for a honey-pot, by 
which I here mean an actual jar of real china con-
taining the saccharine produce of the really truly 
bee, he dipped his nervous nilnisitando into the 
glucose mass, and withdrawing, leant back and 
wearily chewed ginseng, while he cooled his throat 
with a strong infusion of Cantharides in old 
brandy.  I am not what I was, he grumbled.  These 
tales of my youth weaken me.  Since the Countess 
called — rot her rasp ! — I have grown weaker, and 
I doubt if Leila herself could wake the old fuzzle for 
an hour or so.  The flies were by this time a seeth-
ing mass upon his manly master-member ;  they 
fed like coffin-worms at a lady’s eyes.  The sad soul 
stiffened ;  Captain Standish was himself again.  
This is an excellent method, explained the Archbishop ;  
I have known it to succeed even in the direst ex-
tremity.  When pross and prugge have done their 
dirtiest :  when jill and jomer have given up the 
job :  when Abbess and Artichoke have abandoned 
the article in derision :  then has Beelzebub come 
to the rescue, and Father Abraham has believed 
the yarn about Isaac.  Now, while I feel restored, I 
will ask you to accommodate me in your turd-trap, 
and I will sing you beautiful songs about the time 
when I was young.  He was on my back before I 
could reply, and the fetid fuck-fritters of the foul-
flip-flapped Father frizzled in my reeking-rectum. 
 
 
[55]