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Page 1 of 11904 · PDF PAGE 29
…ricket have come to stay, Five o'clock is the time to bring Tea and strawberry ice, and play Various dulcet jargoning; . Lazy paddle all day to swing, Lazy pipe to kill ennut’s germ, Lazy, lazy everything :— Sing heigh-ho for the glad May Term ! O hooray! merry boys, hooray! Flannels are pleasures that have no sting. Everyone’s white and cool and gay ; Everyone looks as if a wing Might any moment sprout and spring, Turning him into an “alb’ inerm’ Angelum,” like Aladdin’s ring; Sing heigh-ho for the glad May Term! O the trees are out to-day! O …
1904 · PDF PAGE 50
BALLADE OF SERIOUS BALLADES And one day you may recollect That I always said Heaven was blue, And you owe, that your life is not wrecked, To a serious ballade or two. ENVOI Princess, it is ill superseding The old and well-tried with the new. Still, for once, lend your ear not unheeding To a serious ballade or two.
1904 · PDF PAGE 83
THE VILLAGE CHAMPIONS 71 “ Well, mister, that’s the facs as seen Ten year ago come Chris’mas day, An’ so our villidge always been - The leadin’ villidge down our way ; But Billy Stokes ’ull always ’ave A ruin’ stummick to ’is grave. “ An’ when ’e tell the story now, ’"E seem to gasp fur want of breath— Yes, mister, Sawbones ses as ’ow ’E wean’t be better till ’is death ; ‘Unto ’is grave,’ ’e ses, ses ’e, ‘A ruin’ stummick’s what ’e be!’”
1904 · PDF PAGE 88
…’s, beauty’s, heroism’s expression, Out from her evolutions hither come, ended the strata of her former themes, Hidden and cover’d by to-day’s, foundation of to-day’s, Ended, deceas’d through time, her voice by Castaly’s fountain Silent the broken-lipp’d Sphynx in Egypt, silent all these century-baffling tombs, Ended for aye the epics of Asia’s, Europe’s helmeted warriors, ended the primitive call of the muses, 76
1904 · PDF PAGE 73
TO A HETEROMITA ROSTRATA SWEET microscopic beauty ; born one day In not imperishable head of cod! Young organism Sporting flagella in a cheerful way, But neither cilium nor pseudopod ; Produced by schism ! Thou dost not browse on pastures bright and green, Or feed on palm trees in sublime oases In lands Semitic. Not holophytic is thy food I ween, Nor holozoic, as in other races, But saprophytic. When bliss conjugal is thine object praiseworthy A swimming form approaches to an anchored With zeal ecstatic : Affection of a healthy length of days w…
1904 · PDF PAGE 67
THE MOUNTAINEER’S FATHER WILLIAM 55 “In the days of my youth (Young men w// be young men), I was peaked on my skill at Peak-et! And the muscular strength (which I didn’t use then) Comes in for a subsequent day!” “You are old, Father William,” the young man said, “Yet your tongue is as trusty as ever; You consistently lie in a manner that I Consider infernally clever!” “T have answered three questions, and that is enough, Come on, if you’re coming at all! Pi hold you—this Buckingham’s capital stuff— I'll hold—but I’m hanged if I’ll haul!”
1904 · PDF PAGE 79
…“Why, bless you, so ’e be,” his head He sadly scratched from end to end, “ But sich a hintellect, I'll lay You don’t see, mister, hevery day ! “Why, Billy Stoke ’e were the cove A matter o’ ten year agone What beat Jim Buskett out o’ ’Ove, What used to be the champion— Jim Buskett, wi’ the wooden legs, What were the champion fur heggs! 67
1904 · PDF PAGE 23
…F NEW CRITICISM (AFTER ANDREW LANG) THERE'S a joy like the joy of a lark, There’s a pleasure that’s known to the few, ’Tis to listen all day to the bark Of a critic’s vitriolic review. Corroding the centuries through, It eats since the first poet sang, And they cursed him, and called him a Jew, Before the good zon of Lang. These critics (their style, you remark, Into forests of verbiage grew) Ere Carroll invented the Snark Were ready to eat me and you ; They snorted, they snapped, and they slew, They were mighty of quill and of slang, Till they…
1904 · PDF PAGE 68
…ocks—they are rotten. (2) We said “’T will be cold, not improbably wet,” We sneered at the ridge we had passed, We said of the sun “ His day’s work he has done.” We said of the sky—“ it is vast.” (3) We spoke of the snow—“ it is notably cold ” ; We supped upon Cotton and Maggi ; We observed to the moon “ Be a dear and come soon.’ We remarked of the crags—“ they are craggy.” (4) Intelligent talk will most surely beguile The longest night out on the rocks ; So we made of the guides the remarks that revile; Of their Herrs we said “sheep go in floc…
1904 · PDF PAGE 17
…um, Work at them, groan at them, week by week, Grind like a matchmaker down ir a slum ; Slave all night, though no answer come, Smug all day, though the summer blaze, . All may do that till the brain succumb :— Not every bowler can break both ways! Vain be the struggle of party clique! } The ground is iron, the wicket is crumb, 1 In 1896-99, the author was excluded from the Cambridge Eleven, owing to the machinations of his relentless and Machiavellian persecutors. Owing to this disgraceful jobbery, the Oxford team were in no case dismissed wit…
1904 · PDF PAGE 87
…knowledge. I should not have been expected in that station to produce a thought, Or do anything but drawa little salary; And I would one day eventually most graciously let loose a thought On some subject such as Maeterlinck or Malory. But good-bye to thoughts of greatness amid men of Major Schol. degree! It’s the first step that regards me with defiance; They’ll allow me, p’raps, the General, or possibly the Poll Degree, , For my papers in the Trip. of Moral Science. So I, who might have risen to the fame of such a man as Hobbes, Or Leibnitz, o…
1904 · PDF PAGE 80
68 THE VILLAGE CHAMPIONS “It weren't a hole-an’-corner lay. We painted up a board as said : ‘The Goat-and-Compasses—to-day— An’ hentrance tuppence hevery ’ead. The wummen-folk may henter free, An’ likewise babbies under three. “* A challenge to the world do I, Jim Buskett, with the wooden legs, Give forth to all men and sundry To win the championship fur heggs ; An’ this a stake 0’ twenty pound To any heater ’ere around.’ “Now, mister, we ’ad never thought To ’ave a heater sich as’e, An’ yet opined as summun ought To take the challenge, fair an…
1904 · PDF PAGE 89
… page, And dirged by Tennyson’s sweet sad rhyme. I say I see, my friends if you do not, the illustrious emigré (having it is true in her day, although the same, changed, journey’d considerable,) Making directly for this rendezvous, vigorously clearing a path for herself, striding through the confusion, By thud of machinery and shrill steam-whistle undismay’d Bluffed not a bit by drain-pipe gasometers, artificial fertilizers, Smiling and pleas’d with palpable intent to stay, She’s here, install’d amid the kitchen ware!” WALT WHITMAN.! The lady p…