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Page 1 of 11904 · PDF PAGE 66
…ILLIAM. “YOU are old, Father William,” the young man said, “ And your waistcoat is awfully tight, And yet you persistently plough up Sty Head, Do you think, at your age, it is right?” “In the days of my youth,” Father William replied, “T fostered each Sybarite taste ; But now I strive hard my tum-tum to retard, By wasting to limit my waist!” “ You are old, Father William,” the young man cried, “ Relinquish a passion so dread ! Lay ice axe and rope and dementia aside !— Remember the years o’er your head!” “In the days of one’s youth,” Father Wil…
1904 · PDF PAGE 55
…nd Cambridge days for us are dead. The springtime of our youth is fled, And Summer comes too fierce and dry. With pale cheek and averted head The time is come to say Good-bye. On Life’s rough road we travel fast ; Some to be great, and some to wed. We are small men, the world is vast ; With our desires God is not fed. Some wield gold swords, or steel, or lead ; Some lose good heart, lay weapons by. Each lies in his own self-made bed. The time is come to say Good-bye. May God defend us from the blast, And smooth our path, and keep our head ! Be …
1904 · PDF PAGE 74
… and dutiful, What lot in life could be much more felicitous Or any brighter? You little being chlorophylly beautiful, Who in high cod’s head dost descend to visit us, Heteromita !
1904 · PDF PAGE 42
…W HUMOUR Some toady’s risky “ mot,” Some cad’s malicious rumour :—! All’s porridge for your pot. You label it as humour! ENVOI A swollen head you’ve got, A suppurating tumour! You write infernal rot, And label it as humour! 1 Mr. Back, myself, the O.B., any member of Christ’s College, any member of Corpus Christi College, any member of Emmanuel College, are here severally enumerated.
1904 · PDF PAGE 73
TO A HETEROMITA ROSTRATA SWEET microscopic beauty ; born one day In not imperishable head of cod! Young organism Sporting flagella in a cheerful way, But neither cilium nor pseudopod ; Produced by schism ! Thou dost not browse on pastures bright and green, Or feed on palm trees in sublime oases In lands Semitic. Not holophytic is thy food I ween, Nor holozoic, as in other races, But saprophytic. When bliss conjugal is thine object praiseworthy A swimming form approaches to an anchored With zeal ecstatic : Affection of a healthy length of days w…
1904 · PDF PAGE 39
…nd gyres as one possessed On how the ’Varsity is bled. It paints with unassuming red The hebdomary interview With ladies who on legs and head Dance until everything is blue! The Granta with a throbbing breast Watches, with eager passion fed, The track, the field, the statesman’s nest,” The wicket and the river bed. The evildoer comes to dread Its scathing scorn, its charges true. It makes the heart as dull as lead Dance until everything is blue. The reverend Review (suppressed The rising laugh, the smile ill-bred) Bakes for the Fellows that inf…
1904 · PDF PAGE 79
… by the villidge tree.” “« And who is he ?” the stranger said. “He seems more aged than you, my friend!” “Why, bless you, so ’e be,” his head He sadly scratched from end to end, “ But sich a hintellect, I'll lay You don’t see, mister, hevery day ! “Why, Billy Stoke ’e were the cove A matter o’ ten year agone What beat Jim Buskett out o’ ’Ove, What used to be the champion— Jim Buskett, wi’ the wooden legs, What were the champion fur heggs! 67
1904 · PDF PAGE 15
…with you? Your face is a picture of gloom, Your pulse is a hundred and two, Your eyelids are glued as with glue, A towel is tied to your head, You might be a man with the Flu! “The Trip! and I wish I were dead!” O blood! Mighty being ve whom Our novelists say what is true! You swear, and you fuss, and you fume, And the saddest of books—if the view That I catch of your dainty canoe Be accurate—heavy as lead, Are piled as you yawn and say “ Phew! The Trip! and I wish I were dead!” O ordin’ry persons! Who ‘lume Your College (you are but a few)— Yo…
1904 · PDF PAGE 95
…at would shock even Wee Willie Winkie, Or t’ Owd ’un of Days.*) We shall know what the darkness discovers When bald are the hairs of our head ; For “ love and the pleasures of lovers Are only well known to the dead.” ? We shall know if your heaven is helly, Find out if your liver is heart; And if brains be the whole of thee, Kelly, Apostle of Art! 1 Macroprosopus, the ‘‘ Vast Countenance.” 2 Original epigram, by G. F. K. Copyright in the United States of America.