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Page 1 of 11904 · PDF PAGE 67
THE MOUNTAINEER’S FATHER WILLIAM 55 “In the days of my youth (Young men w// be young men), I was peaked on my skill at Peak-et! And the muscular strength (which I didn’t use then) Comes in for a subsequent day!” “You are old, Father William,” the young man said, “Yet your tongue is as trusty as ever; You consistently lie in a manner that I Consider infernally clever!” “T have answered three questions, and that is enough, Come on, if you’re coming at all! Pi hold you—this Buckingham’s capital stuff— I'll hold—but I’m hanged if I’ll haul!”
1904 · PDF PAGE 93
MARY ROGERS A RONDEL BY UNCLE PODGERS (zé BLONDEL) MARY ROGERS! Woe to men, Parsons, lawyers, sailors, sodgers ! Ca’ me canty but? and ben? Mary Rogers! Does she live by taking lodgers? She is beautiful, but then Quaint old jossers, queer old codgers— ? How she does it, do ye ken? ® Women are such artful dodgers! Lord! I’d love to be there when Mary Rogers.‘ 1 But and ben—a Scots expression, very powerful and chaste. 2 This sentence is left unfinished for effect. 3 Does what? This is a problem rondel. 4 ¢.e, when yet unmarried.
1904 · PDF PAGE 85
…acles for finger-tips. Earth spits on thee, contagious Caliban! Hell spits on thee ; her sin is spiritual. Only the awful slime and excrement That sin sheds off will own thee for a man. Only the worms in dead men’s bowels that crawl To lick a loathlier brother are content. 73
1904 · PDF PAGE 55
A BALLADE OF FAREWELL Now the May term is gone at last. In merriment its days have sped ; Now our brief sojourning is past, And Cambridge days for us are dead. The springtime of our youth is fled, And Summer comes too fierce and dry. With pale cheek and averted head The time is come to say Good-bye. On Life’s rough road we travel fast ; Some to be great, and some to wed. We are small men, the world is vast ; With our desires God is not fed. Some wield gold swords, or steel, or lead ; Some lose good heart, lay weapons by. Each lies in his own se…
1904 · PDF PAGE 17
…man a tune can hum In a manner distinctly beyond all praise, Scrape on a fiddle, or beat a drum :— Not every bowler can break both ways! Men there have been who would daily seek Problems in Algebra—trebly glum, Work at them, groan at them, week by week, Grind like a matchmaker down ir a slum ; Slave all night, though no answer come, Smug all day, though the summer blaze, . All may do that till the brain succumb :— Not every bowler can break both ways! Vain be the struggle of party clique! } The ground is iron, the wicket is crumb, 1 In 1896-99,…
1904 · PDF PAGE 87
…mark at last, If I only became master of a College; My mighty mind was bound to have dispelled the dark at last, That covers all the rudiments of knowledge. I should not have been expected in that station to produce a thought, Or do anything but drawa little salary; And I would one day eventually most graciously let loose a thought On some subject such as Maeterlinck or Malory. But good-bye to thoughts of greatness amid men of Major Schol. degree! It’s the first step that regards me with defiance; They’ll allow me, p’raps, the General, or possi…
1904 · PDF PAGE 80
…eren't a hole-an’-corner lay. We painted up a board as said : ‘The Goat-and-Compasses—to-day— An’ hentrance tuppence hevery ’ead. The wummen-folk may henter free, An’ likewise babbies under three. “* A challenge to the world do I, Jim Buskett, with the wooden legs, Give forth to all men and sundry To win the championship fur heggs ; An’ this a stake 0’ twenty pound To any heater ’ere around.’ “Now, mister, we ’ad never thought To ’ave a heater sich as’e, An’ yet opined as summun ought To take the challenge, fair an’ free ; Fur Jim ’e seemed to …
1904 · PDF PAGE 82
…’ falls presumptious on the floor. So Sawbones swears upon the spot A nappleplectic fit ’e’s got. “Then Billy Stoke ’e ups an’ calls Fur men to carry ’im to bed, When likewise ’e permiscuous falls An’ its the fender with ’is ’ead. Ses Sawhones, ‘’E’s a lucky chap, An’ wean't be ’urt by ¢hat mis’ap.’ “« They’ve appleplectic fits,’ ’e ses, ‘An’, though their lives I’m sure to save, Yet each ’ll carry, Ill confess, A ruin’ stummick to ’is grave.’ An’ ’e were right as soon as not: A ruin’ stummick ’tis they’ve got.
1904 · PDF PAGE 47
… won’t take your money (the first law of betting is that you mayn’t bet on a certainty) so perfectly convinced by this time are all wise men that the score of life is at Love-all. So we twain will sing together ;— Spring regilds her coronet; Summer comes and don’t go neither, [This line is neither grammar nor rhyme, I'm afraid ; it’s my mistake entirely, I took a perfectly absurd word to begin with, and after getting as far as this it would be a pity to turn back; the rhymes’ll get worse for certain, so don’t be surprised if they do, but I have…
1904 · PDF PAGE 103
AU THEATRE DU GRAND GUIGNOL g1 ever been presented to the astounded consciousness of mortal men. Quickly overrunning the civilized world, it has penetrated (auspice Teucro) into the very remotest steppes of Central Asia, the wildest savannahs of the American prairie, where dog and oyster burble in plethoric harmony among the verdant shoots of cactus and coyote, where the giant Appomattox rolls in sulky majesty to the red bays of the Pacific. The Society formed to exploit this unheard- of invention is, naturally, of a most secret nature: perhaps…