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22 MUTABILITY OF HUMAN AFFAIRS He’s wet, but he speedily dries, More quickly than pessimists think. His gaff he repeatedly plies :— But Smith’s is a permanent ink. ENVOI Prince, we sell it in various shades, In azure and purple and pink. Things change by perceptible grades :— But Smith’s is a permanent ink.
…s While the ball spins round like a tee-to-tum ; Not every bowler can break both ways! ' ENVOI Prince, if your batting be mild and meek, Think on the burden of these sweet lays, So your revenge you may nobly wreak, And bowl for the ’Varsity all your days; Not every bowler can break both ways!
…faces, “ New” dramas with a plot, Find money on a Scot, Find beauty in a bloomer— We'll read your little lot And label it as humour. You think to break our braces With hidden jokes and hot ; Kick over manners’ traces, Reins tangle in the knot Of Boredom—Never trot Your spavined mare, but groom her! You snigger at a sot, And label him as humour. Some pseudo-bloods at races, Some scholar’s polyglot, Some torpid Don’s grimaces, Some spouting Hottentot ; 29
…ll it a bonnet (Though the rhyme would come awfully pat). It has cherries and strawberries on it, It’s trimmed with the tail of a rat. I think that this verse, if she con it, Is likely to fall very flat. Better luck, as I hope, with the sestet. I cannot write sonnets, my Chloe, They turn out so terribly doughy ! I only write this, as you pressed it. Though now, you'll admit, it looks showy, In writing I heartily blest it! 80
…ie ! — Smack, lips!) that elegant and curved Comes homing through the summer sky, The kitchen bill before his eye Looms. Grammar? Do you think to raise Grammar on wines divinely dry And lots of Salmon Mayonnaise ? I was about to ask—Lunch served ? Right! I am coming—to ask why These innocent delights deserved From Solomon the old and sly 19
… have begun To reckon on the odd. With what a mighty smack Your King of Trumps is won! Your partner’s face grows very black ; He doesn’t think it fun. A Yankee would have used a gun, A schoolmaster a rod— A ten ace may be led of none Who reckon on the odd. And now, amid the wrack Of your position, Their old established suit comes back, With an unfettered run ;
…, As a maiden on water-cress feeding If a simile splendidly decked Appeals to your excellent sect) But humour must pall—it’s too true. I think you ought not to object To a serious ballade or two. All folk at odd times may be needing A voice to advise or protect; The heart of a maid may be bleeding; The sky of your life may be flecked With clouds, and you cannot expect The flowers to grow without dew— Please listen with proper respect To a serious ballade or two! The sprinkling of thought I am seeding May gather, take root, and reject The things…
…are old, Father William,” the young man said, “ And your waistcoat is awfully tight, And yet you persistently plough up Sty Head, Do you think, at your age, it is right?” “In the days of my youth,” Father William replied, “T fostered each Sybarite taste ; But now I strive hard my tum-tum to retard, By wasting to limit my waist!” “ You are old, Father William,” the young man cried, “ Relinquish a passion so dread ! Lay ice axe and rope and dementia aside !— Remember the years o’er your head!” “In the days of one’s youth,” Father William replied,…