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Page 1 of 21912 · PDF PAGE 69
… 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. do A Still {rightfully ill—sleep and nightmares. A again conquered by these, though I did my very utmost. . A shade better. A in Turkish hath not bad considering. A futile. A a shade better. A and a further renewal of the Vow. Went to sleep doing A Am still very ill with throat. '. better. Throat better. '. mediocre. `. I went to sleep, I fancy. '. a shade better. poor again. There seems little intention; perhaps owing to my bad health and the general uncertainty of things. A sleepy but a shade better. Saw Fra. D. D. S. A m…
1912 · PDF PAGE 56
THE EQUINOX 5 A better but not good. ,, 6. A better. 7. A still better. 8. A really very good. Ditto in p.m. (Smooth sandy road perhaps helped.) ,, 9. A very poor (horseback, slippery wet sand, and cobbles). ,, 10. A good considering (horseback) ,, n. A poor (evil thoughts). ,, 12. A unconcentrated. ,, 13. A literally against my own will. Beneath contempt. le Effect of ease, etc. (On the 10th he had arrived at Mengtzu, where the Collector of Customs kindly received him, and gave him the first meal and bed he had had since leaving Tengyueh.) ,, 1…
1912 · PDF PAGE 66
… THE EQUINOX A sleepy. Am by no means recovered from the fatigues of this journey. A mediocre and unwilling. . (Arrived New York) A . '. better but sleepy. I must really buck up, A better, but “ business ” is a nuisance, and prevents the mind concentrating. 18. A The usual thing. I forget about it till late, 19 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. or at least put it off. A man cannot serve two masters. I began A ; then deliberately stopped, as it was a farce. I appoint Sunday from waking to sleeping as a day of fast and penance. Unable, or unwilling, to sle…
1912 · PDF PAGE 67
…terday. Must meditate on cause. (Sailed for Liverpool.) ,, 27. A Got through after incredible struggle of πὲhours. ,, 28. Α just a shade better. But my cabin is a little Hell. ,, 29. A shade better; but still very poor. ,, 30. A very good indeed. Renewed the terrible vows of this initiation, and was rewarded by the Divine Kiss. 0 self-glittering one, be ever with mel Amen. ,, 3x. A better than ever yet. Vision quite perfect ; I tasted the sweet kiss and gazed in the clear eyes of that Radiant One. My own face became luminous. June I. A good but…
1912 · PDF PAGE 57
THE TEMPLE OF SOLOMON THE KING March 19. A mediocre (train). VIII 20. A a bit better. (He arrived at I—Iai-Phong.) 21. A about the same. 22. A bad (sleepy—sea-sick). (He was now on a tramp steamer packed three—deep with pigs.) 23. A better. (Magnificent Fata Morgana. Ship— ping, etc., upside down in air above itself. Qy. A sign {or me ?( (This question suggests that he is getting through the Abyss to that great obligation of a Master of the Temple, “I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul”) (A night of shock…
1912 · PDF PAGE 108
…ives them, he never gives them hope. Dr. F. But they come for his opinion. Mrs. B. And don’t want to know it. Dr. F. Perhaps it would be better if they didn't. Mrs. B. That's it; that's what's driving me mad. I see them come here one after another, some cheerful, others desperate; some looking healthy, some looking half dead already ; some hoping, some doubting; all fearing. But one and all go away hopeless, utterly hopeless. I could bear it better if his were not so great a name. But he's right— he’s always right. That’s what's so terrible—he’…
1912 · PDF PAGE 71
THE TEMPLE OF SOLOMON THE KING A at night, a shade better. Some slight vision. July 10. A at night fair only. ,, 11. A rather reveresque. ,, 12. Throat very bad. A futile. ,, 13. A better (in A. M.) (Twenty-second week of A ends. There ought to be a new current to—morrow.) (The idea was 22 weeks for the 22 letters of the Hebrew Alphabet. So he seeks a new method.) ,, 14. Avoided invoking A that He might instruct me in Vision. I am in serious trouble. Place, Method, Means, Time, etc. A wakeful night, followed by profound and dreamless sleep (Had…
1912 · PDF PAGE 60
…slackness toward the obligation. From this, then, Ο Holy Exalted One, preserve me I (The invocation had to wait till the 20th.) A rather better. A above average; but little convincing. A about the same: very tired. Studying Liber Legis. A much better; will go to sleep in vision. (The result curious : Iwoke up several times, and though I cannot at all remember, I know it was thinking of A in some way.) A fair. After-results again vaguely magnificent —memory seems quite in vain. A in the presence οί my Soror F. (The results of this and the next in…
1912 · PDF PAGE 111
… remains to him. An artist might finish his creation. Dr. B. Oh, artists ! Another set of liars! Dr. P. A doctor will go on with his work better if his brain is not clouded with his own mortal fear. Dr. B. Rot ! if he’s finished, he'd better finish. And besides, despair can often do more than hope. Put the 69
1912 · PDF PAGE 225
…uggle Goods of this life; abundance; modified by dignity as is usual. Chesed of?ו (Convalescence, recovery from sickness ; change for the better). Herein do?היראלand?לא”לבbear rule.
1912 · PDF PAGE 237
…nce. Generosity, obstinacy, etc. Binah of ( ?יPride, arrogance, self-assertion) Herein rule the Angels?הישההand?תיממע [This card is much better than as described] XLVII THE LORD OF PERFECTED WORK ΡΜ” of Wands Two White Radiating Angelic Hands, as before, issuing from clouds right and left of the card and clasped in the centre with the grip of the First Order, holding four wands or torches crossed. Flames issue from the point of junction. Above and below are two small flaming wands, with the symbols of se and?זrepresenting the Decan. Perfection o…
1912 · PDF PAGE 68
…re to Act 11; my neighbour then ejected me for snoring. Did A feebly, in streets. Went to Plymouth to meet wife. Did A in train. A shade better, and more acquiescence or survival or transcendencefiwhichever name you prefer. Really too ill to do a regular A but struggled through, and repeated vows. . Still breaking down at intervals and staggering from nervous weakness. Dropping off to sleep at odd times and places. A practically nil.
1912 · PDF PAGE 64
…y gained on crossing the 180°.) A good—vision like the Milky Way in texture. 3. A mediocre. 4. A very energetic on my part, intently so, better perhaps than ever before. However (or perhaps because) there was little vision. Indeed, this work of A . .?־requires the Adept to
1912 · PDF PAGE 58
…ovel. 8. Feeble but convalescent. A . '. nevertheless pretty good for concentration and sincerity; not notable for result. I think I had better begin to renounce idle things, save where politeness calls, and calls loud. ΙΗ take life too easy, the Great Retirement will be harder: on the other hand an asceticism to no instant purpose may exhaust me for the struggle when it comes. One of those rare cases where a “golden mean " looks well. 9. A at night good: considerable strain in ether. (It is here fitting to mention Fra, P.’s idea of performing t…
1912 · PDF PAGE 59
…t of about twelve hours of Asana.) April 10, A no good (rather tired, especially at night). ,, I I. A very bad indeed: worried. ,, 12. A better, but sleepy. Not by any means good, but more impersonal. ,, 13. A sleepy: in fact dropped off. (He had been doing a magic for a Soror of the Great Order, and exhausted himself.) ,, I4. (Easter Eve). An. mediocre. The Op. of Abramelin being due to commence on Easter Sunday, methinks it would be well to make a certain profound conjuration of A on 82 19
1912 · PDF PAGE 70
…r the achieving of a purpose, the Next Step. A rather bad, but done. Being in bed has cured the eternal headache, and the throat is much better. (The doctors were not sure whether Fra. Ρ. was suffering from cancer or tubercle—pleasing alternative! Probably the real trouble was due to the fall with his horse months before. The microscope failed to reveal its real nature; but it was evidently nothing serious.) 9. Operation performed with little pain. My display of cowardice (he asked for a drink of water during the operation, which was done with …
1912 · PDF PAGE 65
…y body. 8. A same effect as yesterday. 9. A poor. (This begins the railway journey from Vancouver.) 10. A poor. Am really worn out. n. A better—much reverie ; vision not acute. 12. A not bad. 13. A purposely done more rapidly than usual. But restful. 25
1912 · PDF PAGE 23
… them, Anandal” “ But, Lord, suppose they speak to us ? ” “ Keep wide awake, Anandal " Think of Paul’s contemptuous permission, “ It is. better to marry than to burn "—it is easy to see that Paul had never been married !—and of his Master’s plain prohibition of anything of the sort. If our own Beloved Lord and Teacher does not join the band, it is (may I suggest with all humility?) because He wants us to be strong enough to manage our own affairs without resorting to the extreme of prohibition. But it is hard upon the weak. Think of A, who left…
1912 · PDF PAGE 270
…ent sincerely. AWL. None 0’ that! Say ye‘re sorry, like a mon [ EEL. I‘m sorry, Jeannie. An' I‘ll be agude mon tae ye, lass. AWL. That's better. Now, meenister, the Blessing. MEEK. In the name 0‘ God, I declare ye lawful man an’ wife. [He join: their hand: mul Nesse: litem.] AWL. An’ no more private still, Elder, an’ no more bribes fra distillers l BEL. Ay! I mean it. AWL. Guid. Now, lass, run off wi‘ him, lest he ['a' into the snare o' the ’ Hoor 0’ Babylon again ; an’ this time for his soul's ill 1 [All laugh, EEL goes ofwith JEANNIE. AWL. No…
1912 · PDF PAGE 277
WAITE’S WET “ It‘s a disease; he read about it in the Dai/y Mm"! on the Underground between Aldgate and Blackfriars; but it sounds better than plain ‘status' ; so he damned the extra ha’penny, and put it. To my mind it’s the shortest and plainest thing he's ever written, And I forgive him all.” The company, overborne by authority, acquiesced. Only Neuburg, always a pessimist, doubted. ”It’s unsignedl" he groaned, his lips, blood-stained bolsters dipped in ink, writhing like half-boiled lobsters. The Editor, with one shriek, one sob, and one sig…