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Page 1 of 11929 · PDF PAGE 30
V That my only means of discovering Arthur's thought was by muscle-reading became more than doubtful dur- ing the third year of our marriage. We practised telepa- thy unashamed. We excluded the muscle-reader and the superauditor and the human thermopile by elaborate precautions; yet still I was able to read every thought of his mind. On our holiday in North Wales at Easter one year we separated for a week, at the end of that week he to be on the leeward, I on the windward side of Tryfan, at an appointed hour, he there to open and read t…
1929 · PDF PAGE 25
…can be no God!the resolution to warn mankind to follow my example, and then to explode a dynamite cartridge in my mouth. II In my third year at Newnham I spend four hours of every day at Professor Blairs house. All other work was neglected, gone through mechanically, if at all. This came about gradually, as the result of an accident. The chemical laboratory has two rooms, one small and capable of being darkened. On this occasion (the May term of my second year) this room was in use. It was the first week of June, and extremely fine. The door …
1929 · PDF PAGE 29
… grasp of detail ever fuller. It is not only that I could read emotions; I could tell whether he was thinking 3465822 or 3456822. In the year following my illness we made 436 experiments of this kind, each extending over sev- eral hours; in all 9363, with only 122 failures, and these all, without exception, partial. The year following, our experiments were extended to a reading of his dreams. In this I proved equally suc- cessful. My practice was to leave the room before he woke, write down the dream that he had dreamt, and await him at the bre…
1929 · PDF PAGE 23
…ng; the boys have their aesthetic reasons for the name. Gertrude in any case is much too busy to bother her head about him; for, after a year in the Latin Quarter, if she has failed to surpass Degas and Manet and OConor, she has at least conquered the great pianist Wlody- wewsky, and it takes her all her time to manage him and keep the baby out of mischief. Theodore Bugg needs no help of hers in his moral sculpture of the destinies of England.
1929 · PDF PAGE 28
… with their whole hearts, and love unselfishly. IV We returned to Cambridge in October, and Arthur threw himself vigorously into the new year's work. Then I fell ill, and the hope we had indulged was disap- pointed. Worse, the course of the illness revealed a con- dition which demanded the most complete series of op- erations which a woman can endure. Not only the past hope, but all future hope, was annihilated. It was during my convalescence that the most re- markable incident of my life took place. I was in great pain one afternoon, and wishe…
1929 · PDF PAGE 32
… he said at dinner, I believe I have got a devilish bad chill? It was the first time I had known him to complain of his health. In six years he had not had as much as a headache. I told him my dream when we were in bed, and he seemed unusually grave, as if he understood where I had failed in its interpretation. In the morning he was feverish; I made him stay in bed and sent for the doctor. The same afternoon I learnt that Arthur was seriously ill, had been ill, indeed, for months. The doctor called it Bright's disease. VIII I said the last…
1929 · PDF PAGE 27
…losely written notebooks referring to this first period are at the dis- posal of my executors. III In the middle of the day, in my third year, my father was dangerously ill. I bicycled over to Peterborough at once, never thinking of my work. (My father is a canon of Peterborough Cathedral.) On the third day I received a telegram from Professor Blair, Will you be my wife? I had never realized myself as a woman, or him as a man, till that moment, and in that moment I knew that I loved him and had always loved him. It was a case of what one migh…
1929 · PDF PAGE 16
HIS SECRET SIN Inscribed admiringly to Alexander Coote. THEODORE BUGG had made England what she is. The last forty-two years had elevated him from errand-boy to biggest retail grocer in the Midlands. Twenty-eight years of wedded happiness had left him with a clear con- science, a five-year old grave to keep in order To the memory of my beloved relict, as he had written until the clerk suggested a trifling alteration, and a strapping daughter just turned twenty. I wish I could stop here. But there is a rough side to every canvas, and Theodore …
1929 · PDF PAGE 19
II. Theodore Bugg, a year later, was paying the price of his fall. He had allowed Gertrude to attend Art Classes, although he knew it to be wrong. But he had grown to fear his daughter, andon such a point especiallyhe was incapable of fighting her. For there were times when he tried to persuade himself that there was nothing wrong in it. A brother church-warden had looked a little askance when the news of Gertrude's advanced ideas had come; but Theodore had stoutly and even a little sternly rebuked him with the original remark: To the pu…
1929 · PDF PAGE 1
…, to the country that tolerates it, to the civilisation that permits that such things should be. The same thing happened to me here last year, sir, though luckily on that occasion I had but half-an-hour to wait. But I wrote to The Times a strong half-column letter on the subject, and Im damned if they didnt re- fuse to print it. Of course, our independent press, etc.; I might have known. I tell you, sir, this country is run by a ring, a dirty ring, a gang of Jews, Scotchmen, Irish, Welshwheres the good old jolly True Blue English- man? In t…