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Page 1 of 21909 · PDF PAGE 69
…ogin and ceremonial manner, is doing me good. I shall end, God willing, with coffee, cognac, and cigar. It is a fatal error to knock the body to pieces and leave the consciousness intact, as has been the case with me all day. It is true that some people find that if they hurt the body, they make the mind unstable. True ; they predispose it to hallu- cination. One should use strictly corporeal methods to tame the body; strictly mental methods to control the mind. This latter restriction is not so vitally important. Any weapon is legitimate agains…
1909 · PDF PAGE 28
…. THE EQUINOX . for what could be done normally in 3) demands the whole attention. . Drifted into a nap. Welll we shall try what Brother Body really wants. My attempt to go to sleep has made me supernaturally wakeful. I am—as often before—in the state described by Paul (not my masseur; the other Paul I) in his Epistle to the Romans, cap. vii. v. 19. I shall arise and go forth. I have a good mind to try violent excitement of the Muladhara Cakkram ; for the whole Sushumna seems dead. This at the risk of being labelled a Black Magician—by clergyme…
1909 · PDF PAGE 12
… admit the light of infinity: and cutting the cross of blood upon my breast, thus symbolising the equilibration of and the slaying of the body, while loosing the blood, the first projection in matter of the universal Fluid. The whole formulating the Ankh—the Key of Life! Igave moreover the signs ofthe grades from 0° =o°to7": 4°. Then did I take upon myself the Great Obligation as follows : I. I, O.M. &c., a member of the Body of God, hereby bind myself on behalf of the whole Universe, even as we are now physically bound unto the cross of sufferin…
1909 · PDF PAGE 79
…ng type—every one acted as badly as he knew how, and as unexpectedly. Waking just now, and instantly concentrating on Adonai, I found my body seized with a little quivering, very curious and pleasant, like trembling leaves in a continuous air. I think I have heard this state of Interior Trembling described in some mystic books. I think the Shakers and Quakers had violent shudderings. Abdullah Haji of Shiraz writes :— ]ust as the body shudders when the Soul Gives up to Allah in its quick career Itself. . . . It is the tiniest, most intimate trem…
1909 · PDF PAGE 64
…of a series—ante and pass the buck." The common sense of the practical man of the world is good enough {or me! Will G. R. S. Mead or somebody wise like that tell me why it is that if I get out of my body and face (say) East, I can turn (in the “ astral body") as far as West-Sou’-West or thereabouts, but no further except with very great difficulty and after long practice? In making the circle, just as I got to West, I would swing right back to West—Nor’-West: turn easily enough, in short, to any point but due West, within perhaps 5", but never p…
1909 · PDF PAGE 70
… the vilest black magic, This is one of the numerous reasons for supposing that Jesus Christ was a Brother of the Left—Hand Path. Now my body has been treating me well, waking nicely at convenient hours, sleeping at suitable times, keeping itself to itself . . . an admirable body. Then why shouldn’t I take it out and give it the best dinner Lavenue can serve? . . . Provided that it doesn’t stop saying that mantra! It would be so easy to trick myself into the belief that I had attained! It would be so easy to starve myself until there was " visi…
1909 · PDF PAGE 127
… drank a few drops of water. (N.B.—To—night have drunk several times, a mouthful at a time; other nights, and days, no. All entries into body recorded duly.) Have done 10 Breath»Cycles ; am quite awake. It will therefore now be lawful again to sleep. Awoke at 7.40, read a letter which arrived, and tried quite vainly to concentrate. Have risen, written a letter. Will break my fast— cafe croissant—and go a walk with the New Mantra, using my recently invented method of doing Prana— yarna on the march. The weather is again perfect. Breakfast—~eaten…
1909 · PDF PAGE 20
… the Task. Especially do I get the Buddhist feeling, not only that Asana is intensely painful, but that all conceivable positions of the body are so. Still sitting; quite sceptical; sticking to it just because I am a man, and have decided to go through with it. Have done 10 RY. cycles. Α bit better, and a slight hint of the Bhuchari Siddhi foreshadowed. Have been saying mantra; the question arises in my mind:
1909 · PDF PAGE 108
…meaning, until the intuition pierces that blank wall of ignorance. Let O.M. meditate upon this Oracle on his way to feed John St. John‘s body—and thus feed his ownl Out, out, to feed! Trimming his beard in preparation for going out, he reflects that the deplorable tone (as one’s Dean would say) of the last entry is not the cry of the famished beast, but that of the over-driven slave "Adonai, ply Thou thy scourge! Adonai, load Thou the chain l” What the devil is the matter with the time ? The hours flit just like butterflies—the moon, dead full, sh…
1909 · PDF PAGE 25
…urning with love unto my Lord Adonai, though ashamed indeed for that thrice or four times in the night I had been awakened by this loyal body, urging me to rise and meditate—and my weak will bade it be at ease and take its rest—oh, wretched man! slave of the hour and of the worm 1 Fifteen cycles of Prana Yama put me right mentally and physically: otherwise they had little apparent success. Have breakfasted—a pear and two Garibaldis. (These by the way are the small size, half the big squares) Have smoked a pipe to show that I'm not in a hurry. H…
1909 · PDF PAGE 104
… suggested by the Rosicrucian formula of Reception: May thy mind be open unto the Higher! May thy heart be the Centre of Light ! May thy body be the Temple of the Rosy Cross ! and by the Hindu statement that in the attainedYogin
1909 · PDF PAGE 18
… let me go back to my room, and Work! (11.47.) Home—undressed—robed —attended to toilet-cut cross of Blood once more to affirm mastery of Body— sat down at 11.49 and ended the day with 10 Prana- yamas, which caused me to perspire freely, but were not altogether easy or satisfactory. 16
1909 · PDF PAGE 62
…Elect of the Most Secret and Sublime Order A A He does with great difficulty (and no interior perform— ance) just four breath-cycles. Somebody once remarked that it had taken a hundred million years to produce me ; I may add that I hope it will be another hundred million before God makes such another cur. Have performed the Equilibrating Ritual of the Scourge, the Dagger, and the Chain; with the Holy Anointing Oil that bringeth the informing Fire into their Lustral Water. I am so sleepy that I cannot concentrate at all. (I was trying the “Bornle…
1909 · PDF PAGE 119
…hirsty, and loathes the thought of drinking! He must do something—something pretty drastic, or he will find himself in serious trouble of body and mind, the shadows of his soul, that is sick unto death. For “ where are now their gods?” Where is the Lord, the Lord Adonai? The beast feels decidedly better; but whether he is more concentrated one may doubt. Honestly, he is now so blind that he cannot tell! Perhaps a “cafe, cognac, et Cigare” may tune him up to the point of either going back to work, or across Paris to the Hammam. He will make the e…
1909 · PDF PAGE 99
… the Path: the Question is reduced to the simple problem: Am I, or am I not, going to burst? I got all the sweating and trembling of the body that heart could desire; but no “ jumping about like a frog” or levitation. A pity ! I shall read for a little in the Yoga-Shastra as a rest. Then for the end of the day and the Beginning of the Ninth Day. Zoroaster (or Pythagoras ?) informs us that the number Nine is sacred, and attains the summit of Philosophy. I’m sure I hope so! I get into Asana . . . and so endeth the Eighth Lesson. The Ninth Day Thu…
1909 · PDF PAGE 116
…nds; He must end it, either with that mighty spiritual Experience which I have sought, or else with black madness, or with death. By the Body of God, swear thou that death would come— welcome, welcome, welcome!
1909 · PDF PAGE 16
…gain the Cross of Blood ; and now a third time will I do it. And I will take out the Magical Knife and sharpen it yet more, so that this body may fear me ; for that I am Horus the terrible, the Avenger, the Lord of the Gate of the West. 4.15— Read Ritual DCLXXI. [The nature of this Ritual is 4.30. explained later.—ED.] 5.10. I have returned from my shopping. Strange how 14 solemn and dignified so trivial a thing becomes, once one has begun to concentrate l I bought two pears, half a pound of Garibaldi biscuits, and a packet of Gaufrettes. I hada…
1909 · PDF PAGE 98
…ck, though probably the Record shows a fair amount of work done. But I am terribly bruised by the Great Fall; these big things leave the body and mind no worse, apparently ; but they hurt the Self, and later that is reflected into the lower parts of the man as insanity or death. I must attain, or . . . an end of John St. John. An end of him, one way or the other, then l Good-bye, John ! Ten minutes wasted in sheer mooning! I’m getting worse every minute. Fooled away ten minutes more! Humiliation enough! For though I made the cross with Blood and…
1909 · PDF PAGE 13
…d I swear and seal with a stroke upon the Bell. Then I steadily sat down in my Asana (or sacred Posture), having my left heel beneath my body pressing into the anus, my right sole closely covering the phallus, the right leg vertical; my head, neck, and spine in one straight vertical line; my arms stretched out resting on their respective knees; my thumbs joined each to the fourth finger of the proper hand. All my muscles were tightly held; my breath came steady, slow and even through both nostrils; my eyes were turned back, in, up to the Third E…
1909 · PDF PAGE 53
…rd Him, or annihilation; let my waking be to the music of His name; let the day be full to the uttermost of Him only. My good friend the body woke me at this hour by means of disturbed dreams about a quite imaginary 51