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Page 1 of 31909 · PDF PAGE 49
…akkram which is ‘of brilliant gold or smoke colour and has sixteen petals correspond— ing to the sixteen vowel sounds,’ one might make a good mantra of the English vowel sounds, or the Hebrew. ”Curiouser and curiouser!” The Yogis identify the Varana (Ganges) with the Ida-Nadi, the Asi (?) with the Pingala—Nadi, and Benares with the space between them. Like my identification of my throat with the Gate of the cimetiere du Montparnasse. Well, it requires very considerable discrimination and a good sound foundation of knowledge, if one means to get …
1909 · PDF PAGE 26
THE EQUINOX 8.10- Mame jau—no good at all. Think I’ll get up and have 8.32. 9.0. 9.25. 10. 38. 10.40. a Turker. Am up, havingread my letters. Continuingmantra all the time in a more or less conscious way. Wrote my letters and started out. Have reached the Café de la Paix, walking slowly with my mantra. I am'beginningto forget it occasion- ally, mispronouncing some of the words. A good sign! Now and then I tried sending it up and down my spine, with good effect. I will drink a cup of coffee and then proceed to the Hammam. This may ease my limbs,…
1909 · PDF PAGE 95
…n seeth him. But when you are tumbled headlong into Hell, where he lives, then he unveils his Face, and blasts you with its horror! Very good, John St. John, now you knowl You are plain John St. John, and you have to climb right up again through the paths to the Threshold; and remember this time to mortify that self-satisfaction! G0 at it more reverently and humbly—oh, you dog, how I loathe you for your Vileness! To have risen so high, and—now—to be thus fallen ! The question arises: how to mortify this self-satisfac- tion? Asceticism notorious…
1909 · PDF PAGE 15
{2.12. 12.13 12.24. 12.55. 2.18. 3.15. 3.20. 3.28. י3.36 JOHN ST. JOHN I thought of recording my own weight which I had not taken. Good! Pranayama [10 seconds to breathe in, 20 seconds to breathe out, 30 seconds to hold in the breath] Fairly good ; made me sweat again thoroughly. Stopped not from fatigue but from lunch. [Odd memoranda during lunch. Insist on pupils writing down their whole day; the play as well as the work. “By this means they will become ashamed, and prate no longer of ‘beasts.’ "] Ι am now well away on the ascetic current, de…
1909 · PDF PAGE 45
… I long since possessed.) I. It may perhaps mean severe asceticism. In case I should be going out on that path I will try and get a real good dinner to fortify myself. 2. The paths leading to Geburah are from Hod, that of the Hanged Man, andfrom Tiphereth, that of Justice, both equilibrated aspects of Severity, the one implying Self—Sacrifice, the other involuntary suffering. One is Free- will, the other Karma; and that in a wider sense than that of Suffering. The Ritual DCLXXI will still be applicable: indeed, it may be considered sufficient; b…
1909 · PDF PAGE 91
…ly. But the answer to this, friend Satan] is that the Canon of Art is Truth, and the Canon of Magic is Truth; my true record will make a good book, and my true book will make a good record. 89
1909 · PDF PAGE 59
…n ever in her wild way. She says that she is favourably disposed towards me, on the recommendation of her concierge ! l! " The tongue of good report hath already been heard in his favourl Advance, free and of good report! ” 57
1909 · PDF PAGE 101
… miss his appointment with Michael Brenner to continue moulding Siddhasana. Again I awake. . . , ]0 swine! thou hast felt in thy- self " Good! Good I the night is broken up nicely; all goes very well ”—and thou hast written “ I ! " Oswine, John St. John! When wilt thou learn that the least stirring of thy smug content is the great Fall from the Plath ?[ It will be best to get up and do some kind of work; for the beast would sleep. John St John has arisen, after doing 20 breath- cycles, reciting internally the ritual, 70 per cent. of which he no…
1909 · PDF PAGE 62
…g Fire into their Lustral Water. I am so sleepy that I cannot concentrate at all. (I was trying the “Bornless One”) The magic goes well; good images and powerful, but I slack right off into sleep. It’s the hour for heroic measures or else to say : A good night’s rest, and start fresh in the morning! I suppose, as usual, I shall say the first and do the second. Have risen, washed, performed the ritual “Thee I invoke, the Bornless One " physically. The result fair. One gets better magical sight and feeling when one is performing a ritual in one’s …
1909 · PDF PAGE 31
…y of man. A theosophic term—Eu] N.B.-—Mantras might with advantage be palindromes. I try to construct a magic square from the mantra. No good. But the mantra is going much better, quite mechanically and “without attachment ” (la, without conscious ulterior design. “Art for Art’s sake ” as it were). I drink a “Citron pressé.” Alas! here comes Maryt (with a sad tale of X. It appears that she fainted and spent some hours at the hospital. I should have insisted on her staying with me; the symptoms began immediately on her drinking some coffee. I ha…
1909 · PDF PAGE 119
…oint of either going back to work, or across Paris to the Hammam. He will make the experiment, reading through his proofs the while. One good thing; the Chittam is moving slowly. The waiters all hurry him—what a contrast to last night l Proofs read through again. John St. John feels far from well. A stroll down the Boul’ Mich’ and avisit to M—’s studio improve matters a good deal. The cure continued. No worry about the Work, but an effort to put it altogether out of the mind. A cafe creme, forty minutes at the Academic Marcelle —a gruelling bou…
1909 · PDF PAGE 24
10.55. I L10. 11.17. 11.35. 22 THE EQUINOX Having written the above, I shall rest for a few moments to try and get rid of my headache. A good simile (by the way) for the Yogi is to say that he watches his thought like a cat watching a mouse. The paw ready to strike the instant Mr. Mouse stirsi I have chewed a Gaufrette and drunk a little water, in case the headache is from hunger. (P.S.—It was so; the food cured it at once.) I now lie down as Hanged Man and say mantra in Visuddhi. I must really note the curious confusion in my mind between the …
1909 · PDF PAGE 64
…this is unknown ground, or, as Frank Harris would say, Unpath'd Waters. We are getting dangerously near “mental arsenic ” and " all—god— good—bones—truth—lights—liver—mind—blessing —heart——-one and not of a series—ante and pass the buck." The common sense of the practical man of the world is good enough {or me! Will G. R. S. Mead or somebody wise like that tell me why it is that if I get out of my body and face (say) East, I can turn (in the “ astral body") as far as West-Sou’-West or thereabouts, but no further except with very great difficulty…
1909 · PDF PAGE 34
…olours. The last??םסשI wasted talking to Dr. R——, that most interesting man. I don’t mean talking; I mean listening. You are a bad, idle good-formothingfellow, 0. M.! Why not stick to that mantra? Have drunk two citrons presses and gone to my room to work a mighty spell of magick Art. Having got rid of Maryt (who, by the way, is Quite mad), and thereby (one might hope) of Apophis and Typhon, I perform the Great Ritual DCLXXI with good results magically; i.e., I formulated things very easily and forcibly; even at one time I got a hint of the Glo…
1909 · PDF PAGE 68
5.40. 557- 6.30. 7.10. THE EQUINOX But it has done no good as far as energy is concerned. I’m just as bad or worse than I was on the day which I have called the day of Apophis (third day). The only thing to my credit is the way I’ve kept the mantra going. One thing at least is good; if anything does come of this great magical retirement—which I am beginning to doubt—it will not be mixed up with any other enthusiasm, poetic, venereal, or bacchanalian. It will be purely mystici But as it has not happened yet—- and just at present it seems incredi…
1909 · PDF PAGE 5
…ped like a Svastika with 3. Pillar of Flame would have been rather taking; herds of impossible yaks, ghost-dogs, gryphons. . . . But, my good friends, this is not the way things happen. Paris is as wonderful as Lhassa, and there are just as many miracles in London as in Luang Prabang. [did not even think it necessary to go into the Bois de Boulogne and meet those Three Adepts who cause bleeding at the nose, familiar to us from the writings of Macgregor Mathers. 3
1909 · PDF PAGE 71
…ame at the Dome for a little, I now return home. I thought to myself, “Let me chuck the whole thing overboard and be sensible, and get a good night’s rest"—and perceived that it would be impossible. I am so far into this Operation that pausing to cast one last glance back O’er the safe road—’twas gone !
1909 · PDF PAGE 28
…described by Paul (not my masseur; the other Paul I) in his Epistle to the Romans, cap. vii. v. 19. I shall arise and go forth. I have a good mind to try violent excitement of the Muladhara Cakkram ; for the whole Sushumna seems dead. This at the risk of being labelled a Black Magician—by clergymen, Christian Scientists, and the “ self—reliant” classes in general. Arrived (partly by cab) at the Place. Certain curious phenomena which I have noticed at odd times—e.g., on Thursday night—but did not think proper to record must be investigated. It s…
1909 · PDF PAGE 58
…imes, and if I had not been a worm would have scattered it like chaff I ,, IV. δὲhours ; and I wake fresh. ,, V. I%+4§+ I hour; and real good work done in the intervals. [P.S. ,, VI. Probably 4 hours. ,, VII. 2+2+§ hours. ,, VIII. 6 hours much broken. ,, IX. 112—4-2—0-2 hours. ,, X. 4+ 1}; hours. ,, XI. 1%+4-21 hours. ,, XII. Back tothe normal—7 hours perfect sleep]
1909 · PDF PAGE 20
…correspondence and other business and drunk a citron pressé. The Voice of the Nadi began to resound. Have done ”Bornless One ” in Asana. Good; yet I am filled with utter despair at the hopelessness of the Task. Especially do I get the Buddhist feeling, not only that Asana is intensely painful, but that all conceivable positions of the body are so. Still sitting; quite sceptical; sticking to it just because I am a man, and have decided to go through with it. Have done 10 RY. cycles. Α bit better, and a slight hint of the Bhuchari Siddhi foreshado…