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Page 1 of 11909 · PDF PAGE 6
…e mind of a man: the setting is but Illusion even to the thinker. Humanity is progressing; formerly men dwelt habitually in the exterior world; nothing less than giants and Paynim and men—at—arms and distressed ladies, vampires and succubi, could amuse them. Their magicians brought demons from the smoke of blood, and made gold from baser metals. In this they succeeded; the intelligent perceived that the gold and the lead were but shadows of thought. It became probable that the elements were but isomers of one element ; matter was seen to be but…
1909 · PDF PAGE 23
…, since others are to read this, one must mention that almost from the beginning of this Working of Magick Art the changed aspect of the world whose culmination is the keeping of the oath “ I will inter- pret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul ” was present with me. This aspect is difficult to describe; one is indifferent to everything and yet interested in it. The meaning of things is lost, pending the inception of their Spiritual Meaning; just as, on putting one’s eye to the microscope, the drop of water on the slide …
1909 · PDF PAGE 140
… there is always so much more possible that one can never be satisfied Much less, then, satiatedl . Having gone back into the life of the world—yet a world transfiguredI—I did all my little work, my little amusements, all the things that one does, very quietly and beatifically. About 10.30 the rapture began to carry me away; yet I withstood it and went on with my game of Billiards, for politeness’ sake. And even there in the Café du Dome was the glory within me, and I therein; 50 that every time that I failed at a stroke and stood up and drank in …
1909 · PDF PAGE 121
…f spiritual overfeeding—what did Darwin do when he got to the stage (as he did, be sure! many a time) when he wished every pigeon in the world at the devil? Now this wish has never really arisen in John St. John ; however bad he feels, he always feels that Attainment is the only possible way out of it. This is the good Karma of his ten years’ constant striving. Well, in the upshot, he will get back to Work at once, and hope that his few hours in the world may prove a true strategic movement to the rear, and not a euphemism for rout! There are f…
1909 · PDF PAGE 45
…on the grade of Adeptus Major 6°: 5°. (RS—Distinction is to be made between attainment of this grade in the natural and in the spiritual world. The former I long since possessed.) I. It may perhaps mean severe asceticism. In case I should be going out on that path I will try and get a real good dinner to fortify myself. 2. The paths leading to Geburah are from Hod, that of the Hanged Man, andfrom Tiphereth, that of Justice, both equilibrated aspects of Severity, the one implying Self—Sacrifice, the other involuntary suffering. One is Free- will…
1909 · PDF PAGE 133
…ievre, citron presse. I am now able to concentrate OFF the Path for a little. Whether this means that I am simply slipping back into the world, or that I am more balanced on, and master of, the Path, I cannot say. Have walked home, drunk a citron pressé at the Dome, and prepare for the night. As I crossed the boulevard, I looked to the bright moon, high and stately in the east, for a message. And there came to me this passage from the Book of Abramelin: “And thou wilt begin to inflame thyself in pray— ing . . . It is the sentence which goes on t…
1909 · PDF PAGE 107
…ully wishes to point out that " The most mystic of discourses informs us—His wholeness is in the Supra—Mundane Order ; for there a Solar World and Boundless Light subsist, as the Oracles of the Chaldeans affirm.” Not very helpful, is it? As if divination could ever help on such exalted planes ! As if the trumpery elementals that operate these things possessed the Secrets of the Destiny of an Adept, or could help him in his agony! For this reason, divination should be discarded from the start : it is only a “ mere toy, the basis of mercenary frau…
1909 · PDF PAGE 47
…ed! ’Tis curious how totally independent is mantra-yoga of reverie. I can say my mantra vigorously while my thought wanders all over the world; yetI cannot write the simplest sentence without stopping it, unless with a very great effort, and then it is not satisfactory to either party! Meditation—~of the " rational ” sort—on this leads me to suggestthat active “ radiant" thought may be incom— patible with the mantra, itself being (Ρ) active. One can 45
1909 · PDF PAGE 51
…d 01 pleasure and pain consequently so different from the sane man’s as to be incomprehensible. Look at my Uncle Toml who goes about the world bragging of his chastity. The maniac is probably happy—a peacock who is all tail! And squawk. Look at the Vegetarians and Wallaceites and all that crew of lunatics. They are paid in the coin 01 self- conceit. I shall waste no pity on them! υ 49
1909 · PDF PAGE 52
…dian Angel. Aye! Ο my Lord Adonai, Thou art the Beginning and the End of the Path. For as Thou?התאthou art also 406 =?ותTau the material world, the Omega. And as He mn Thou art 12, the rays of the Ineffable Crown. (A disaster has occurred; viz., a sudden and violent attack of that which demands a tabloid of Pepsin, Bis- muth, and Charcoal—and gets it. On my return, [1.34, I continue.) And as?ינאAni “I” thou art also?ויאthe Negative, that is beyond these on either side! But this illness is a nuisance. I must have got a little chill somehow. Its …
1909 · PDF PAGE 64
…—truth—lights—liver—mind—blessing —heart——-one and not of a series—ante and pass the buck." The common sense of the practical man of the world is good enough {or me! Will G. R. S. Mead or somebody wise like that tell me why it is that if I get out of my body and face (say) East, I can turn (in the “ astral body") as far as West-Sou’-West or thereabouts, but no further except with very great difficulty and after long practice? In making the circle, just as I got to West, I would swing right back to West—Nor’-West: turn easily enough, in short, to…
1909 · PDF PAGE 50
…t measures. If one were to slack off now and hope for the morning, like a shipwrecked Paul, one would probably wake up a mere man of the world. The Question then arises: What shall I do to be saved ? The only answer-and one which is quite unconnected with the question—is that a Ritual of Adeptus Major should display the Birth of Horus and Slaying of Typhon. Here again Horus and Harpocrates—the twins of the twin signs of o°=o" ritual—are the slayers of Typhon. So all the rituals get mixed: the symbols recur, though in a different aspect. Anyway,…
1909 · PDF PAGE 72
…—yea, being utterly absorbed in His ineffable Glory—yea, being That of which there is no Image either in speech or thought. What a weary world we live in! No sooner am I betrayed into making a few flattering remarks about my body than I find everything wrong with it, and two grains of Cascara Sagrada necessary to its welfare! . . . . I wish I knew where I was! I don’t at all recognise what Path I am on; it doesn’t seem like a Path at all. As far as I can see, I am drifting rudder- less and sailless on a sea of no shore—the False Sea of the Qlipho…
1909 · PDF PAGE 92
…d by any images of discipline or magic. Ofcourse 1 but this is just the difficulty—as it was in the Beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end! My beautiful answer to the question, How will you become a millionaire? is: I will possess a million pounds. The “answer" is not an answer; it is a begging of the question. What a fool I am! and people think me clever. Ergo, perhaps!
1909 · PDF PAGE 39
…e required 01 him. So, bound and blinded, he stumbles forward, and passes through the wrath of the Four Great Princes of the Evil of the World, whose Terror is about him on every side, Yet since he has followed the voice of the Officer who has prepared him, in this part 01 the Ritual no longer merely Nature, the great Mother, but Neschamah (his aspiration) and the representative of Adonai, he may pass through all. Yea, in spite of the menace 01 the Hiereus, whose function is now that of his fear and of his courage, he goes on and enters the Pyra…
1909 · PDF PAGE 110
8.20. 8.35. 9.0. 9-35- THE EQUINOX The thought too, is wanderingall over the world. Since the last entry, very likely, the beast has not thought even once of Adonai. The Reading of the Ritual has done much service, though things are still far from calm. Yet the mighty flood of the Chittam is again rolling its tremendous tide toward the sea—the Sea of annihilation. Amen. Returning home, with his eyes fixed on the supreme glory of the Moon, in his heart and brain invoking Adonai, he hath now entered into his little chamber, and will prepare all thi…
1909 · PDF PAGE 83
…t to dinner. Iwas half-asleep some of the time. Dinner—Hers d’GEuvre—Tripes a la Mode de Caen— Filet de Porc—Glace—g Graves. Oh, how the world Y 81
1909 · PDF PAGE 70
…until there was " visions about”! It would be so easy to write a sun-splendid tale of Adonai my Lord and my lover, so as to convince the world and myself that I had found Him! With my poetic genius, could I not outwrite St. f—John (my namesake) and Mrs. Dr. Anna Bonus Kingsford? Yea, I could deceive myself if I did not train and fortify my scepticism at every point. That is the great usefulness of this record; one will be able to see afterwards whether there is any trace of poetic or otherinfluence. But this is my sheet—anchor: I cannot write a …
1909 · PDF PAGE 37
… Thou who art myself, that I will not write save to glorify Thee, that I will write only in beauty and melody, that I will give unto the world as Thou givest unto me, whether it be a consuming fire, or a cup of the wine of Iacchus, or a glittering dagger, or a disk brighter than the sun. I will starve in the street before I pander to the vileness of the men among Whom I live—0h my Lord Adonai, be with me, give me the purest poesy, keep me to this vow! And if I turn aside, even for a moment, I pray Thee, warn me by some signal chastisement, that …
1909 · PDF PAGE 10
…) have attained that the Ordeals seem but incidents hardly worthy to mention, save in so far as they are the Levers by which I moved the World. Even those dreadful periods of “ dryness " and of despair seem but the necessary lying fallow of the Earth. All those “ false paths ” of Magic and of Medi— tation and of Reason were not false paths, but steps upon the 8