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Page 1 of 11928 · PDF PAGE 133
XXXVI THE DESIRE OF PAINTING UNHAPPY perhaps is the man, but happy is the artist whom desire tears in pieces. I am on fire to paint her who appeared to me so rarely and who fled so quickly, like a beautiful, regrettable thing which the traveller, borne away into the night, leaves behind him. How long it is since she disappeared. She is beautiful, and more than beautiful. She is surprising. In her black abounds, and every thought that she inspires is of night and the abyss. Her eyes are two caverns where mystery sparkles vaguely, and her glance …
1928 · PDF PAGE 105
lodious sounds of waterfalls the desire never to see again their household gods, their wives, their children; never again to confront the lofty billows of the sea. Strange faces were there, of men and women, marked with a fatal beauty; it seemed to me that I had known them long since, at times and in countries whose exact remem- brance I could no longer fix, and which rather inspired me with a fraternal sympathy than with that fear which usually arises at the sight of the unknown. If I wished to try to define in any way their strange expression…
1928 · PDF PAGE 9
…MESTER XXX. THE ROPE XXXI. THE JOYS OF THE SOUL XXXII. THE THYRSUS XXXIII. INTOXICATE YOURSELF! XXXIV. ALREADY! XXXV. WINDOWS XXXVI. THE DESIRE OF PAINTING XXXVII. THE MOONS GIFTS XXXVIII. WHISH IS THE TRUE ONE? XXXIX. THOROUGHBRED XL. THE MIRROR XLI. THE HARBOUR XLII. PORTRAITS OF MISTRESSES XLIII. THE POLITE GUNNER XLIV. THE SOUP AND CLOUDS XLV. THE CEMETERY AND THE SHOOTING GALLERY XLVI. A LOST HALO XLVII. MISS BISTOURI XLVIII. Anywhere, ANYWHERE OUT OF THE World! XLIX. DEATH TO THE Poor! L. IN PRAISE OF GOOD DOGS EPILOGUE
1928 · PDF PAGE 134
…te and delicious; as who should dream of the miracle of a su- perb flower blossoming on volcanic soil. There are women who fill one with desire to conquer them and to enjoy them, but she makes me wish to die by inches underneath her eyes.
1928 · PDF PAGE 143
…ean upon the quay and watch in contemplative mood the movements of those who come and go, of those who have still the force to will, the desire to travel or to acquire riches.
1928 · PDF PAGE 166
XLVIII ANYWHERE, ANYWHERE OUT OF THE WORLD THIS life is a hospital where every sick man is possessed with the desire to bear his suffer- ings in front of the stove, and another thinks that he will get better beside the window. It seems to me that I should always be well wherever I am not; and this question of re- moval is one which I ceaselessly discuss with my soul. Say, my soul,poor deluded soul, what do you think of going and living in Lisbon? It must be warm there, and you would become as lively as a lizard. It is on the waterside; they sa…
1928 · PDF PAGE 17
…he hushed atmosphere is faintly tinged with rose and blue. The soul takes therein a bath of laziness, rendered aromatic by regret and by desire. It is something like twilight; somewhat blue, somewhat rosy. A dream of pleasure at the hour of the eclipse! The articles of furniture have long, low, lan- guid shapes; one would say that they dream; they seem endowed, as vegetables and miner- als are, with a somnambulistic life. The cover- ings speak with the same silent language as flowers, skies, and sunsets. On the walls no artistic abomination; as…
1928 · PDF PAGE 24
…s an orgy of silence. One might say that an ever-increasing light makes things glitter more and more: that the excited flowers burn with desire to rival the skys blue by the vigour of their colour, and that the heat, making their perfumes visible, sends them up before the altar of the day-star like clouds. Nevertheless, in all this enjoyment I beheld one suffering. At the fool of a colossal Venus, one of those artificial madmen, one of those professional buffoons whose duty it is to make kings laugh when remorse or weariness sits heavy upon th…
1928 · PDF PAGE 135
…hat thine eyes are grown so strangely large, and she has so tenderly fas- tened on thy throat that thou hast therefore kept for ever the desire to weep. And yet in the overflowing of her joy the moon filled all the room like a phosphorescent atmosphere, like a luminous poison, and all this living light was thinking and saying: Thou shalt know eternally the influence of my kiss; thou shalt be beautifully in my fashion. Thou shalt love that which I love and which loves
1928 · PDF PAGE 104
…I had always wished to know, and whom I instinctively recognized, although I had never seen him. Doubtless there was in him an analogous desire as regards myself, for as he passed he gave me a significant wink which I hastened to obey. I followed him attentively, and soon I descended at his heels into a sub- terranean dwelling-place where shone a luxury of which none of the above-ground dwellings of Paris can show a rival. It seemed strange to me that I should so often have passed this wondrous den without ever perceiving its door. There an exq…
1928 · PDF PAGE 137
XXXVIII WHICH IS THE TRUE ONE? I ONCE knew a girl called Benedicta, who filled the atmosphere with the ideal, whose eyes shed forth the desire of greatness, beauty, glory, all that which makes a man be- lieve in immortality. But this miraculous girl was too lovely to live long, and some days after I had become acquainted with her she died. It was I myself that buried her, one day when the Spring swung its thurible even within cemeteries. It was I that buried her, well shut up into a bier of perfumed wood, incorruptible as are the cof- fers of I…
1928 · PDF PAGE 101
…hausting a gift has Nature endowed me!) this idea suddenly entered; that such conduct on the part of my friend was only excusable by the desire of cre- ating an event in the life of this poor devil, perhaps even of discovering the divers conse- quences, unfortunate or otherwise, which a bad coin in a beggars hand may produce. Might it not multiply itself into genuine pieces? Might it not, on the other hand, bring him to gaol?An inn-keeper, or a baker for example, might perhaps have him arrested as a coiner, or utterer. Equally well the bad co…
1928 · PDF PAGE 79
… though he were dowered with all the honours that republics can bestow, I think that the twi- light would still inflame in him a burning desire of imaginary distinctions. The night which brings shadows, which brought shadows into their minds, makes light in mine. And though it is not so rare to see the same cause beget two
1928 · PDF PAGE 29
…t the result of a preconceived plan but of a chance inspiration, participates very much, though it were but through the intensity of its desire, in this humour which doctors call hysteric, and which those who have a little more sense than doctors call Satanic, which compels us unre- sisting towards a crowd of dangerous or incon- venient actions.) The first person that I saw in the street was a glazier whose piercing and discordant cry came up to me through the heavy and con- taminated atmosphere of Paris. It would be ut- terly impossible for me…
1928 · PDF PAGE 108
… the strange malady called boredom, which is the source alike of all your diseases and of your wretched progress. Never shall you form a desire but I will help you to realize it; you shall reign over your vulgar fellows; at your service shall be all flatteries, even all ado- rations; silver and gold and precious stones, and fairy palaces shall come to seek you, shall beg you to accept them without your making a single effort to win them. You shall change country and climate as often as your fancy bids; you shall be drunk with pleasure without w…
1928 · PDF PAGE 113
…u- rally I had to report the incident, looked at me asquint, and said, This matter needs clearing up, moved doubtless by an inveterate desire and professional habit to frighten at any cost the innocent as the guilty. There remained one supreme task to ac- complish, whose mere thought caused me dreadful anguish; I must inform his parents. My feet refused to take to their door. At last I summoned up sufficient courage, but, to my great astonishment, the mother showed no emotion; not one tear oozed from the corner of her eye. I attributed this s…