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Page 1 of 11928 · PDF PAGE 82
…heir talk untimely. I do not pity them, because I can see that their oratorial effusions procure for them pleasures equal to those which others draw from silence and contemplation; but I despise them. I wish above all that my cursed journalist would allow me to amuse myself as I like. You never feel then, says he to me, with a slightly apostolic snivel, the need of sharing your en- joyments with others? Look what a subtle form of envy is his; he knows that I disdain his pleasures, and he wishes to sneak into mine, the ugly spoilsport! This…
1928 · PDF PAGE 176
…n of the suburb, and who come every day at a fixed hour to ask for their portion at the door of a kitchen of the Palais-Royal; there are others who run in troops fifteen miles and more to partake of the repast which the charity of cer- tain sexagenarian old maids has got ready for them; women whose empty hearts are given to animals because senseless men will have no more to do with them. There are others who, like runaway negroes, maddened by love, leave, on certain days, their departments to
1928 · PDF PAGE 21
…to the terror of the en- emy. I questioned one of these men, and asked him where they were going. He answered me that neither he nor the others knew anything of this, but that evidently they were going
1928 · PDF PAGE 67
…ldren who had come into life in the last twenty-four hours. All these old-fashioned and capricious sis- ters of Fate, all these bizarre mothers of joy and sorrow, were of many different kinds; some had a gloomy and sombre expression, others, a mischievous and clever one; some were young, who had always been young; oth- ers old, who had always been old. Every father who believed in fairies had come, each one carrying his new-born child in his arms. Their gifts, aptitudes, good luck, armouries of circumstance, were heaped up on one side of the Ju…
1928 · PDF PAGE 131
…en a poor old man, I could have reconstructed his history just as easily. And I lie down to sleep, proud of having lived and suffered in others than myself. Perhaps you will say to me, Are you sure that your fairy tale is true?
1928 · PDF PAGE 150
…discomfort and anger. For several years I admired her, my heart full of hatred. In the end it was not I who died of it. Ah, said the others, she died, then? Yes, it could not go on like that. Love had become for me a crushing nightmare; to con- quer or die, as the political phrase goes, was the alternative which Fate laid upon me. One evening in a wood by the shore of a mere, af- ter a melancholy walk where her eyes, hers, reflected the softness of heaven, and my heart, mine, shuddered like hell What! { How What do you mean? It…
1928 · PDF PAGE 79
… more bitter, more gloomy, more teasing; indulgent and sociable enough all day, in the evening he was pitiless, and it was not only upon others, but upon him- self also, that his twilight mania was wont to wreak its rage. The first died insane, unable to recognize his wife and child; the second bears in himself the inquietude of everlasting little-ease, and though he were dowered with all the honours that republics can bestow, I think that the twi- light would still inflame in him a burning desire of imaginary distinctions. The night which brin…
1928 · PDF PAGE 163
… and see them just for the pleasure of seeing them. Some of them say coldly to me, There is nothing the matter with you, but there are others who understand me because I make eyes at them. And when they fail to understand you? Why, as I bother them uselessly, I leave ten francs upon the mantelpiece. They are so kind and so gentle, these men. I discovered at La Pitié a little house-surgeon who is as pretty as an angel, and oh, so polite, and worksthe poor boyhow he works! His comrades told me that he had no money because his parents
1928 · PDF PAGE 62
…world flow to it as in the house of a man who has well toiled and has deserved well of the whole world. Strange country, superior to all others, as Art is to Na- ture, where nature is re-formed by dream, where she is corrected, beautified, re-moulded. Let them seek, let them still seek; let them ever push back the limits of their happiness, these alchemists of gardening; let them pro- pose their prizes of sixty and one hundred thousand florins for whoever shall solve their ambitious problems; for me, I have found my black tulip and my blue dahl…
1928 · PDF PAGE 146
…; if at any time I shocked her by a too amorous gesture she writhed like a victim of rape. How did that finish? said one of the three others; I did not know you were so patient. For every evil, he replied, God has ap- pointed a remedy. One day I found this Mi- nerva (an-hungered for ideal strength) en- gaged in a private interview with my servant, in a situation which compelled me to return discretely lest I should cause them to blush. That evening I discharged them both, and paid them the arrears of their wages. As for me, replied t…
1928 · PDF PAGE 115
…n; some of them written in a half-jesting style as if seeking to disguise un- der the cloak of frivolity the sincerity of their request; others dully shameless and misspelt, but all of the same purport, namely, to obtain from me a piece of the fatal, the happiness- conferring cord. Among the signatories there were, I must say, more women than men, but not all, you may believe it, belonged to the lowest class or even to the vulgar. I have kept these letters. And then, of a sudden, light broke in my brain; I understood why the mother was so anxio…
1928 · PDF PAGE 147
… the wife is still as virgin as your mistress was. In her nothing had changed. Sometime I regret her; I ought to have married her. The others began to laugh, and the third said in his turn: Gentlemen, I have known enjoyments which you have possibly neglectedI mean the comic side of love; a side which does not ex- clude admiration. I admired my last mistress more than I think you hated or loved yours. And everyone admired her as much as I did. When we went into a restaurant, at the end of some minutes everyone forgot to eat in order to look …
1928 · PDF PAGE 118
…that lit- tle fire-coloured cloud that moves so softly, and He tooone would say that He was look- ing at us. But who then? asked the others. God, he replied, with an accent of perfect conviction. Ah, He is already very far awayin a moment you will not be able to see Him any more; I think He must be travelling, to visit every country.There, there! He is going to pass behind that row of trees that is almost on the horizon; and now He is going down behind the steeple. Ah, I cannot see Him any more. And the child remained for long turned …
1928 · PDF PAGE 121
…in Austria, where the folk are pleasanter. Perhaps we should do better to go down to Spain; the year is getting on, says one of the others. Let us run away from the rain and get nothing wet but our throats!