Thelema ScholarTHE ALEISTER CROWLEY COLLECTION
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1929 · PDF PAGE 503

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…s destroyed. That which remains has passed through fire; and is therefore, in a sense, of the nature of fire. The Urn is engraved with a word or symbol expressive of the nature of the being whose ash is therein. The Magus is thus, of course, not a person in any ordinary sense; he represents a certain nature or idea. To put it otherwise, we may say, the Magus is a word. He is the Logos of the Aeon which he brings to pass1. The above is obscure. I perceived and deplore the fact. The idea may be more intelligible, examined in the light of history.…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 446

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

… the solution sprang like sunlight in my spirit. I remained all that night in an ecstasy of awe and adoration. I had discovered the lost Word! The obvious line of criticism is this: How can you be sure that the Word which you have discovered is really the lost Word after all? This may be made clear by an illustration. On the apron of the 18° I find HB:Heh HB:Resh HB:Shin HB:Heh HB:Yod in Hebrew characters. I find that this word means nothing; the context suggests that it may be an error for HB:Heh HB:Vau HB:Shin HB:Heh HB:Yod , Yeheshuah or Jes…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 239

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…t he may expect. There are many magical teachers but in recorded history we have scarcely had a dozen Magi in the technical sense of the word. They may be recognized by the fact that their message may be formulated as a single word, which word must be such that it overturns all existing beliefs and codes. We may take as instances the Word of Buddha-Anatta (absence of an atman or soul), which laid its axe to the root of Hindu cosmology, theology and psychology, and incidentally knocked away the foundation of the caste system; and indeed of all a…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 508

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…ived another very striking proof of the genuineness of the discovery. Every six months, at the equinoxes, it becomes my duty to obtain a word from the gods, whose symbolic meaning indicates the events of importance to the Order which will occur in the course of the ensuing equinox. (For instance, in the autumn of 1918, the word was "Eleven". Apart from its special technical meanings, there was this: that the Armistice was signed at 11 o'clock on the 11th day of the 11th month of the year.) Now, the word of the equinox in which this Key was disc…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 507

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…l --- which they dare not face) even though I knew it not to exist and was broken-hearted by the continual mockery of the deception. The word of a Magus is always a falsehood. For it is a creative word; there would be no object in uttering it if it merely stated an existing fact in nature. The task of a Magus is to make his word, the expression of his will; come true. It is the most formidable labour that the mind can conceive. Having made this decision, my next task was to cause my word to become flesh. The morning of the fifth Chokmah day was…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 529

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…e gave as OIVZ, whose value is 93. The import of this discovery was terrific; 93 is the value of Theta Epsilon Lambda Eta Mu Alpha , the Word of the Law proclaimed by Aiwass, and of Alpha Gamma Alpha Pi Eta , Love, part of the interpretation of Theta Epsilon Lambda Eta Mu Alpha . It was also that of the Lost Word of freemasonry, which I had re-discovered, thus linking up the mysteries of the O.T.O. with those of the A.'. A.'.. 93 is also the number of the Secret Word of the Neophyte of A.'. A.'., a word indicating symbolically the whole course …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 509

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…fied with its promulgation to the exclusion of all other aims. My formal attainment of the Grade involved my identifying myself with the word Thelema. My personality must be completely merged in it. On realizing this I realized also how carefully I had avoided compromising myself in this respect. I had never openly proclaimed the Law in the first person, as one might say, either in speech or writing. Accordingly, when (on arrival at San Francisco) I found myself invited to address a semi-public gathering, I began my speech with the words, "Do w…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 445

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

445 The word Jeheshua, spelt in Hebrew in the 18° of the Scottish Rite, was habitually spelt with a Resh instead of a Vau. So brutal a blunder is conclusive proof that the modern Sovereign Princes of Rose Croix attach no meaning whatever to the name of Jesus --- which they profess to adore more intelligently than the mob because it represents the descent of the Holy Spirit into the midst of that tremendous name of God which only occurs in {704} their ritual because of its power to annihilate the universe if pronounced correctly1. The intelligen…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 526

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…The Book of Wisdom or Folly was intended to express the heart of my doctrine in the most deep and delicate dimensions. (Before using the word dimensions many considerations occurred to me. It is startling; that quality itself is not repugnant to its use in such a connection. Its use was followed by a discussion between myself and my cynocephalus, who was herself struck by the singularity of the word, so much so, that I had to warn her not to spell it with two d's, and my explanations, thought unsatisfactory, decided me to insert this note in th…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 385

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…ena of those worlds as ordinary men are of this. I would describe what I saw and repeat what I heard and Frater O.V. would write down my words and incidentally observe any phenomena which struck him as peculiar. (For instance: I would at times pass into a deep trance so that many minutes might elapse between two successive sentences.) Such observations may be contemptuously dismissed as imaginary; but having already shown that all knowledge is equally an illusion, the thought is no inhibition. Yet there are different degrees of falsity and crit…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 120

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…heard at once, for little over a fortnight later I got a long letter from Fra. V.N. Though I had not written to him, he gave me the very word that I needed. It restore my courage and my confidence. I continued my work with deeper and truer understanding. I began to perceive the real implications of what I was doing. In particular, I gained an entirely new grip of the Cabbala. One of my results demands detailed record, because it proved later to be one of the foundations of the Great Work of my life. The word Abracadabra is familiar to everyone.…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 571

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…being the arithmetical mean between 418 (the Magical Formula of the New Aeon) and 666, my own cipher. I had never succeeded in finding a word to express this idea of the unification of my own nature with that of my dynamic structure. It must surely strike the most sceptical mind as remarkable that an untrained woman, wholly ignorant of Cabbalistic formulae, should obtain words, letters and numbers, so accurately interwoven, so complete an hieroglyph of an idea which defied my skill to analyse. As is my custom I sought in the Holy Books and in t…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 450

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…turing soul of Russia, that I became inspired to create for the next six weeks. How stupid it is, by the way, that one is obliged to use words in senses inappropriate to, and sometimes incompatible with, the meaning which {712} one wishes to convey! Thus the idea of cruelty is bound up with that of the unwillingness of the patient, so that in the case of masochism the use of the word is ridiculous. We fail to see straight on such points whenever they concern emotional complexes like love. Love, that is, as the wrong- headed Anglo-Saxon defines …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 346

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…Paris, a hymn to Isis to be used in the ceremonies of Isis worship which he was at that time proposing to revive in Paris. I changed the word "Sistron" to "cymbal" and the word "Isis" to "Mary". The hymn required no further alteration. I think that rather significant. Once more, I made a translation of the Fatihah, the most sacred chapter of the Koran, I replaced the name of God by that of Mary, and once again found favour with the Vatican. I quote a few isolated stanzas: The red sun scorches up our veins; The white moon makes us mad; Pitiless …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 389

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…The Abyss is empty of being; it is filled with all possible forms, each equally inane, each therefore evil in the only true sense of the word --- that is, meaningless but malignant, in so far as it craves to become real. These forms swirl senselessly into haphazard heaps like dust devils, and each such chance aggregation asserts itself to be an individual and shrieks, "I am I!" though aware all the time that its elements have no true bond; so that the slightest disturbance dissipates the delusion just as a horseman, meeting a dust devil, brings…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 565

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…never went outside his lair for anyone less than a royal duke) and concluded the deal on the terms stated above on Harrison's giving his word not to make public the letter. It went through. But when Harrison looked for the lethal letter he failed to find it, and believes that Mond had arranged for someone {892} to pay an unauthorized visit to his sanctum and extract it. This hypothesis involves the assumption that Mond harboured doubts as to the value of Harrison's word of honour, which is too painful to think of. Deprived of financial support,…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 440

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…trictly arbitrary. Let me explain what I mean. If I am given the combination of a safe, I expect to be able to open it by the use of the word. If I can do so, it proves that that is the correct word. The secrets of freemasonry disclose no mysteries; they do not do what they profess to do; they are meaningless conventions. 13. With the rarest exceptions, freemasons make no attempt to keep their obligations so far as the moral principles inculcated are concerned. For instance, the Master Mason is sworn to respect the chastity of the wife, sister …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 198

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…d but the appearance of the politest small talk, but which inwardly lacerated her evil heart, and burnt into her black bowels as if each word had been a drop of some corrosive acid. She writhed back from him, and then again approached him even more beautiful than she had been before. She was battling for her life now, and no longer for the blood of another victim. If she lost, hell yawned before her, the hell that every once-beautiful woman who is approaching middle age, sees before her; the hell of lost beauty, of decrepitude, of wrinkles and …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 412

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…. With this sound scheme, goes a colour scheme. The Prophet is high-priest of a temple, and it is understood that if he utters a certain word the building will be destroyed. He woos the Queen of the Dancers; she mocks and eludes him. He utters the word; the pillars fall and crush him, but nobody else is hurt. The chorus rises again in the identical melody of its original dance. The idea of the play is this: that the senseless forces of nature are indestructible and obey no master. The scheme of the rhythm and rime is extremely complex and the e…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 570

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

… sixty. A sinister malice lurked in her most causal remarks. Her deceitfulness was overpoweringly evident in her looks, no less than her words. Her eyes gleamed with ghastly glee. It suggested that she imagined herself as a sort of scourge to inflict obscene suffering upon anyone she might meet. I waited some time hoping Betty would return. She did not and it was arranged for me to come to tea the next day. I found her in a curious state. She had lost most of the wholesomeness and health which she had enjoyed when I last saw her. She knew she w…

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