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Page 1 of 11910 · PDF PAGE 189
MR TODD 179 DELHOMME. Good morning, Mr. Ossory. Anything I can do, of course ; anything I can do. OSSORY. Thank you, my dear lad. Anything you can do, of courseI will let you know at once. By the way, you havent asked her yet, I suppose ? DELHOMME. Not yet, sir. I am rather diffident : I do not care to precipitate affairs. OSSORY. Well, I am really very anxious to see her future assured. And you know our proverb, The early bird catches the worm. [Points to him, and over his shoulder to her.] Theres our scientific friend, eh ? DELHOMME. Oh…
1910 · PDF PAGE 185
175 PERSONS OF THE PLAY GRANDFATHER OSSORY (eighty-one) ALFRED OSSORY (fifty), his son, a shipowner EMILY OSSORY (forty-five), his wife EUPHEMIA OSSORY (eighteen), his daughter CHARLEY OSSORY (ten), his son GEORGE DELHOMME (twenty-four), of the ministry of Foreign Affairs DIONYSUS CARR (thirty-four), Professor of Experimental Eugenics in the University of Tübingen ; and MR. TODD THOMAS, a footman A HOSPITAL NURSE
1910 · PDF PAGE 190
180 MR TODD OSSORY. Why, whatever do you mean ? MRS. OSSORY. I dont mean anything but what I say. Hes a devil ; Im sure of it. I know it was his fault, somehow. OSSORY. Nonsense, nonsense, my dear ! He was not even in the car. MRS. OSSORY. It was his car, Alfred. OSSORY. Youre a fool, Emily. CARR. I think Mr. Ossory means that we could hardly hold him responsible if one of his steamers ran down a poor polar bear on a drifting iceberg. MRS. OSSORY. I know Im quite unreasonable ; its an instinct, and intuition. You know Saga of Bond Street …
1910 · PDF PAGE 204
…Adams, Blitzenstein, Cznechzaditzchno use. I wonder where I caught that cold ! who the devil is there that I could ask ? [Enter THOMAS OSSORYS back toward door. THOMAS. Mr. Todd. [Enter TODDOSSORY doesnt turn. OSSORY. I cant see him, Thomas. [Turns.] I beg your pardon, Mr. Todd. The fact is, Im damnably worried over pay-day. I dont know you very well, but I have a sound business proposition to put before you. I think you might help me. God knows I have tried every one else. Now [TODD takes him by the shoulder and whispers in his ear. …
1910 · PDF PAGE 202
192 MR TODD OSSORY. I want to say a word, girlie, about young Del- homme. Erwell, we all grow older, you knowone dayerah ! Nice young fellow, Delhomme ! EUPHEMIA. I refused him twenty minutes ago, father. OSSORY. What ? How the deuce did you know what I was going to say ? Bless me, I believe there may be some- thing in this psychic business after all ! EUPHEMIA. Yes, father, I feel I have strange powers ! OSSORY. But look here, girlie, why did you refuse him ? Reculer pour mieux sauter is all very well, dont you know, but he gives twice wh…
1910 · PDF PAGE 187
177 ACT I GRANDFATHER sunk in melancholy in his arm-chair ; MRS. OSSORY red and weeping ; OSSORY (a British heavy father) grief-stricken ; EUPHEMIA sobbing at the table ; CARR and DELHOMME cold and hot respectively in their expression of sympathy. MR. TODD is at the door, his cloak on, his hat in his hand. OSSORY. It is kind of you to have so come far to break the sad news, my dear sir. I hope that we shall see you again soon underunderunder happier circumstances. [TODD bows very low to the company as if deeply sympathising ; but turning his …
1910 · PDF PAGE 205
MR TODD 195 CARR. Theres better duchesses in Burke than ever came out of it, Mrs. Ossory. By the way, unless rumour lies, the jade ! you can fly much higher than a paltry Duchess ! MRS. OSSORY. Why, why, what do you mean ? Oh, dear Professor, how sweet of you ! Or are you joking ? Somehow one never knows whether you are serious or not ! But you wouldnt make fun of my embarrassments Society is so serious, isnt it ? But, oh do ! do tell me what they say ! CARR. Well, Mrs. Ossoryyou know our mysterious friend ? MRS. OSSORY. Mr. Todd ? CARR. Y…
1910 · PDF PAGE 203
MR TODD 193 EUPHEMIA. Is it a dog ? [Whistles.] Here, Fido, Fido ! Trust, doggie, trust ! OSSORY. thats it ! they wont trust, those dogs ! To put it short[a spasm of agony crosses his face]Good Lord alive, Im short ! If I cant find a couple of hundred thousand before the twelfth Ill be hammered. EUPHEMIA. And so? OSSORY. Very decent young fellow, little Delhomme. I can borrow half a million from him if I want it ; but I dont care to unlessunless thingsunless you EUPHEMIA. Im the goods, am I ? You old bear ! OSSORY. I know, Phemie…
1910 · PDF PAGE 191
… as we can see at present. But I assure you that I share your sentiments. I have heard very ill things said of him, I can tell you. MRS. OSSORY. Who is he ? Does any one know ? A man of family, I hope. How dreadful for poor Henry if he had been run over by a plebeian ! OSSORY. Well, we hardly knowI wonder if his credit is good. [His voice sinks to a whisper as the awful suspicion that he may be financially unsound strikes him.] CARR. [sharply, as if pained]. Oh, oh ! Dont suggest such a thing without the very best reason. It would be too terr…
1910 · PDF PAGE 193
…ow. GRANDFATHER. There, you see, Nurse is the only one that loves me. I should like to marry you, Nurse, eh ? And cut em all out ? MRS. OSSORY. [Glares at Nurse in silence, not trusting herself to speak to her.] Now, grandpa, dont be silly ! You know how we all love you ! [She goes to the chair and shakes it, unseen.] Thomas, there you are again ! How can you be so thoughtless ? GRANDFATHER. Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! [They get him out of the room. MRS. OSSORY [returning]. Good-bye, Mr. Carr. It is so good of you to help. CARR. Not at all, Mrs. Ossory, n…
1910 · PDF PAGE 206
196 MR TODD MRS. OSSORY. Tête-à-tête ! But would that be quite proper, Professor ? CARR. How very English !all you English think that. Butroyalty has its own etiquette. [Enter CHARLEY. Come along, Charley boy, and show me how the new engine works ! Never mind that old frump of a Duchess, Mrs. Ossory perhaps Mr. Todd may call. [Goes out with CHARLEY. MRS. OSSORY. I do hope he meant it. But hes such a terrible man for pulling legs, as they call it.I cant think where Euphemia picks up all her slang !If that plain, quiet man should really be…
1910 · PDF PAGE 188
… darts a furious glance at him for she knows that he is mocking British solemnity and cant. DELHOMME. Crushedcrushed in a moment MRS. OSSORY [very piously]. Without a warning. Ah well, we must hope that [Her voice becomes a mumble. DELHOMME. I will bid you good morning ; I am sure you will not wish strangers to intrude upon your grief. If there is anything that I can do MRS. OSSORY [ conventionally ]. Pray do not leave us yet, Monsieur Delhomme. Lunch is just ready. DELHOMME. I really think that I should go. [He shakes hands. MRS. OSSOR…
1910 · PDF PAGE 192
…if you really wish it, I will try and be of what service I can. [CARR, with his back to audience, laughs with his hands, behind it. MRS. OSSORY. That is indeed kind of you, Professor ! [CARRS hand-laugh grows riotous. GRANDFATHER. Where is Nurse ? I want my whisky and milk. MRS. OSSORY. [Rings.] I shall go down to lunch, Alfred. Lunch when you like, please, everybody. I fear the house will be much upset for a day or two. You must go down to the mortuary at once. I am really too upset to do anything more. CARR. [Over L. To EUPHEMIA.] She hasnt…
1910 · PDF PAGE 198
…vely, as if hearing footsteps.] So long ! [She retreats into the room, and blows him a kiss. CARR. [outside, loudly]. Good morning, Miss Ossory ! EUPHEMIA. [sinking into a chair, faintly]. Good-bye no. no ! Tillwhen ? [She is almost crying, but sets her teeth and rises. THOMAS. [opening the door]. Mr. Delhomme. [Enter DELHOMME. DELHOMME. I am a thousand times sorry to intrude upon your grief, Miss Ossory, but EUPHEMIA. Uncle Henry was nothing to me. DELHOMME. In any case, I should not have spoken to you, but my Embassy has suddenly called m…
1910 · PDF PAGE 186
176 SCENE : The sitting-room in OSSORYS house in Grosvenor Square. TIME : Midday. The persons are in correct morning dress, except the invalid GRANDFATHER, who is in a scarlet dressing-gown, with gold embroidery, and CARR, who affects a pseudo-Bohemian extravagance. He wears a low collar, a very big bow-tie of gorgeous colours, a pale yellow waistcoat, a rich violet lounge suit with braid, patent leather boots, pale blue socks. But the refinement and breeding of the man are never in question. His hair is reddish, curly, luxuriant. He is clean-…
1910 · PDF PAGE 199
MR TODD 189 DELHOMME. Of youof thee. How difficult is the English language to express subtle differences ! You must have seen, Miss Ossory EUPHEMIA. [dully]. I have seen nothing. DELHOMME. May I speak ? EUPHEMIA. What is this ? Oh ! DELHOMME. I need not tell you, I see. My unspoken sympathy and devotion EUPHEMIA. Spare me, I pray you. DELHOMME. I must speak. Mademoiselle, I am blessed in loving you. I offer you the sympathy and devotion of a lifetime. EUPHEMIA. I beg you to spare me. It is impossible. DELHOMME. It is the truthit is necess…
1910 · PDF PAGE 201
…think that would relieve me at once. Very good ! Very good ! [TODD wheels him out of the room, the old man laughing and chuckling. Enter OSSORY and EUPHEMIA, talking.