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Page 1 of 11910 · PDF PAGE 78
70 The Shame of the Prodigal. derous Moor, who slays his guest with felon blow ? ” 5. Ass of the member of honey [Persian text]. So Mahbub’s expansion of the “ portmanteau ” text [Persian text] Khazk’asal. 6. Refers to a fable. An elephant had fallen into a pit, but managed to scramble out. Seeing an ass going in that direction, he kindly warned him. The ass disdainfully replied that he, being light, ran little danger. Ay ! said the elephant, but small and without an hand, how will thou escape if thou dost fall ? And in fact the ass fell, and p…
1910 · PDF PAGE 68
…en kiss the black stone of the Ka’abah ; but I hear that the pilgrims to thy house are even more numerous than the Hujjaj.2 Omar3 was an ass ; but he is buried—Allah curse him ! — at El Medinah ; only those with members like an ass find any permanent resting place in thy mosque. His4 member is firmer than a rock, sayest thou ? But I will bottle and drown him.5 It is disgraceful, Habib, that thou lettest that lousy little tailor into thy secret beauties ; but I suppose thou needest his needle and thread to re- pair the rents made by thy boasted …
1910 · PDF PAGE 56
… guests cry shame ; and fall down with laughing, until the feast is disordered and be- comes a debauch, so that the decorous are embar- rassed. So drunk am I, however, that I shameless- ly demand thy love before them all. Them the of- ficers rush in and lead us before the Qazi.2 But while I am punished, thou, the author of my offence, art bidden to sup. Go not, O sweet Ha- bib ! that ass-calibred Jew3 is as unsuited to thy tender podex as the elephant to the nightin- gale. By Allah, I say, go not ! ’twere shame, when thou returnest, that thou s…
1910 · PDF PAGE 64
…tliness ! and for this thou forgettest the manly games of youth. When I first had thee, thou wast like a young deer, bounding over the grassy plains ; now thou waddlest like a gravid she- ass. Puffy are thy cheeks and bloated, just as if the moon were turned by a sorcerer into putrid cheese.3 Fie ! thou art surely bewitched by this ugly fel- low, with his lips like rotten bananas.4 Because he has a member like an ass, why shouldest thou be in conduct like a mule ? I shall annoint myself with camel’s dung5 and drink many decoction of chob-chini,…
1910 · PDF PAGE 77
…rits ? Or wast thou ashamed, shooting the peppercorns ?3 No, by Allah, for thou hast no shame. It may be because I have clothed the male ass of Abdullah the tailor in costly trappings and made him pass throughout the whole city in charge of the pimp Mohammed Shaib the Maghraby4 saying : “ I go to fetch Habib from the House of El Qahar as a beautiful bride to this my master Khar-i-zakar-i-asal.5 The people of this city are laughing, Habib ; it is at thee ! Even thy Nubian called out in the ba- zaar : “ Beware, O presumptuous one ! Remember the a…
1910 · PDF PAGE 69
…i ” (Persians) who ever seek to defile his tomb, often risking their lives in the attempt. Frequent is the pun between Omar and Hhumar “ ass.” They are spelt nearly alike ([Persian text] and [Persian text]) and Persian pronunciation always slurs the difference between “ ma’ajub ” and “ ma’aruf ” o and u. 4. Whose ? Presumably the Nubian’s ; but the text is ambiguous. 5. A pun [Persian text] means both “ rock ” and a jinn who offended King Solomon. The latter (as usual) imprisoned him in a brass globe and threw him into the sea. 6. All this is s…
1910 · PDF PAGE 95
…ent to the besotted fellow that poxy podex with its heaped haemorrhoids, like a well whose wall has been broken down. Now therefore that ass-membered one — Allah forget him !—is very sick. Neither from his nose nor from his member will men be able to read that he is a Jew,3 O beloved one with a nose like a rose- tinted ivory statue and a member like a young al- mond tree in blossom ! for both are dropped off. Beware, if thou ridest in the bazaar, that thou dost not hurt the good Qazi, the just one, the in- corruptible one, the wise one, the mer…
1910 · PDF PAGE 62
… with anger like an old goat’s. Come to me, and I will beat thee sound- ly ; and if thou offendest again I will carry thee be- fore this ass-calibred Qazi—Allah on him !—I know well what punishment he will give thee—love ; but ever after thou shalt have no need to be a thou- sand, but accommodate thirty lovers at one time within thy podex. So saith El Qahar, but I am not so sure that if thou comest to him with thine impudence and prettiness, he will not forgive thee. Allah is the Forgiver.4 1. In reference to the problem of Greek philoso- phy, …
1910 · PDF PAGE 127
…s mother, is vilified, the suggestion being that he received the Q’uran from all sorts of evil spirits ; while of the religion itself he asserts dullness and inutility. 3. The old humbug — lit. this Saiyid of Same- ra. A Saiyid is one of Mohammed’s own tribe ; but at Samera there is an establishment for forging pe- digrees, in all respects precisely similar to our own Herald’s College. 4. Combined with the information in 31, that the Mullah is one-eyed, this suggests that el Haji wishes to identify him with [Persian text] dajjal, An- tichrist, …
1910 · PDF PAGE 121
…ntent the mystic, without scientific, 113 enquiry into its nature. Pantheism. The garden quit ? Frequent the mosque ? By Allah, ’twas an ass that brayed. Allah, if Allah be, indwells All beauty.3 He is best repaid By who loves jade as jade, nor asks Some mighty Jaker for the Jade.4 The garden-podex wants, methinks, No worship, but a member-spade.5 1. The Sodom-fable is to be found in the XVth chaper of the Q’uran. Moslems accept the Bible, so far as it goes. Only they regard the Christian as the Christian regards the Jew : as one not up-to- dat…