FOLLOW A WORD THROUGH THE COLLECTION
Search the corpus.
Phrase search ignores case and repeated whitespace. All-words search finds whole words anywhere on the same page. OCR errors can affect results.
91 matching pages
Page 1 of 51922 · PDF PAGE 112
…in a system of order. | . , It is monstrous and ridiculous to open and close by convention. We had to go to some place where such things didn’t annoy us... . An excessively irritating incident spoilt our lunch at the Cascade. We had made a marvellous impression when we came in. We had floated in like butterflies settling on lilies. A buzz went round the tables. Lou’s beauty intoxicated everybody. Her jewellery dazzled the crowd. I thought of an assembly of Greeks of the best period unexpectedly visited by Apollo and Venus. We palpitated not onl…
1922 · PDF PAGE 226
…rnish the scenery of our heavenly hell. September 17 The Grangeis certainly the finest housein the world. There is only one drawback. We didn’t want callers. County society is all rightin its way; but tigers don't hunt in packs, especially on the honeymoon. So we had to send the word around that the precarious state of my health made it impossible for us to receive. Rather an obvious lie, motoring the way we were. The ‘plane had come back from Deal, but we didn’t do any flying. Cockie gave various reasons; but they were un- convincing. We roare…
1922 · PDF PAGE 163
…ce. Funny, too, it was Cockie that thought of that. I know he: hates the man, though he never said so except in an outburst which I knew didn’t mean anything.. We went to the studio in a taxi, Curse the luck, he was out! There was a girl there, a tall, thin woman with a white face like a wedge. We gave several hints ; but she didn’t rise, and wretched as we were, we didn’t want to spoil the market by telling her outright. Lamus would be there in the morning, she said. We said we'd be there at eleven o'clock. — We drove back. We had a rotten nig…
1922 · PDF PAGE 201
…t ; but a lie slipped ready- made from my tongue. ‘‘T am going to Basil, to see if he can’t give me something to help us out.” I knew he didn’t believe me, and I knew he didn’t care where I went or what I did. He was not shocked at my lying to him—the first time I had ever done so. I took a taxi round to the studio. My he was half truth. I was going to ask him to help in the cure; but my real object was to induce him, no matter how, to give me at least one dose. I didn’t care how I got it. I would try pretending illness. I would appeal to our o…
1922 · PDF PAGE 30
…w to tell you about it, I can’t think of it without getting all muddled up. One wondered how she was there. One saw at a glance that she didn’t belong to that set. Refinement, aristocracy almost, were like a radiance about her tiniest gesture. She had no affectation about being an artist. She happened to like these people in exactly the same way as a Methodist old maid in Balham might take an interest in natives of Tonga, and so she went about with them. Her mother didn’t mind. Probably, too, the way things are nowadays, her mother didn’t matte…
1922 · PDF PAGE 370
…to do what you needed me for, even when we were poisoned and insane.” She spoke in low, calm tones, but she was trembling like a leaf. I didn’t know what to answer. The great- ness of her attitude abashed me. I felt with utmost bitterness the shame of having wronged so sublime a love, of having brought her into such infamy. “My God!” I said at last. ‘‘ What we owe to Big Lion |” She shook her head. ‘“‘'No,” she said, with a strange smile, ‘‘ we’ve helped him as much as he’s helped us—helped him to do his will. The secret of his power is that he…
1922 · PDF PAGE 159
Short Commons 145 It didn’t come off. We had a wonderful dinner; and then a horrible thing happened, the most horrible thing in my life. Cockie wanted to go to a show! You might have hit me on the head with a poker. I don’t attract him any more; and I love him so much! He went to the box office to see about tickets, and while he was gone—this was the really horrible thing— I found I was simply telling myself ‘I love him so much.” Love is dead. And yet that’s not true. I do love him with all my heart and soul; and yet, somehow, I can’t. I want t…
1922 · PDF PAGE 235
… against me somehow. .. . He was lying on the sofa in his pyjamas. I wanted to be kissed, and went over to him with some cocaine. But he didn’t move. He looked at me with wide open eyes. There was some dreadful fear in them, and he said,— “‘ Black, the plague of the pit, Her pustules visibly fester.”’ Of course, I knew he didn’t mean it, but I was hurt. I gave him the cocaine. It roused him. He sat up and then he held me by the shoulders and looked straight at my face and said:— “Dragon of lure and dread, Tiger of fury and lust, | The quick in …
1922 · PDF PAGE 42
… I stopped her song at last. My mouth was on her mouth. We were driving in the chariot of the Sun through the circus of the Universe. We didn’t know where we were going, and we didn’t care. We had no sense of time at*all. There was a sequence of sensa- tions; but there was no means of regulating them. It was as if one’s mental clock had suddenly gone mad. I have no gauge of time, subjectively speaking, but it must have been a long while before our mouths separated, for as this happened I recognised the fact that we were very far from the club. …
1922 · PDF PAGE 31
…cent child she was, out of the sheer mirth of her heart. In an ordinary way, I suppose, I should have drunk a lot more than I did. And I didn’t eat much either. Of course, I know now what it was—that much-derided phenomenon, love at first sight. Suddenly we were interrupted. A tall man was shaking hands across the table with Owen. Instead of using any of the ordinary greetings, he said in a very low, clear voice, very clear and vibrant, as though tense with some inscrutable passion :— “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.” There was…
1922 · PDF PAGE 64
50 The Diary of a Drug Fiend some reason or no reason, I was irritated. I didn’t want to hear from people like that at all. I didn’t like or trust her. “‘ Queer fish,” I said rather snappily. It wasn’t my own voice; it was, I fancy, some deep instinct of self-preservation speaking within me. Lou, however, was radiant about it. I wish I could give you an idea of the sparkling quality of everything she said and did. Her eyes glittered, her lips twittered, her cheeks glowed like fresh blown buds in spring. She was the spirit of cocaine incarnate ;…
1922 · PDF PAGE 25
… never seen before. And I said to myself, “‘ Well, that’s all right, I’ve known you all my life.” And when I said to myself “my life,” I didn’t in the least mean my life as Peter Pendragon, I didn’t even mean a life extending through the centuries, I meant a different kind of life—some- thing with which centuries have nothing whatever to do. And then Peter Pendragon came wholly back to himself with a start, and wondered whether he had not perhaps looked a little rudely at what his common sense assured him was quite an ordinary and not a particu…
1922 · PDF PAGE 75
…61 “This is perfectly wonderful stuff,” I said to Lou as we passed the Arc de Triomphe. ‘I don’t know what you meant by saying the stuff didn’t have any special effect upon you. Why, you're perfectly gorgeous | ”’ “You bet Iam,” laughed Lou. “ The king’s daughter is all-glorious within ; her raiment is of wrought gold, and she thrusts her face out to be kissed, like a comet pushing its way to the sun. Didn’t you know I was the king’s daughter ? ” she smiled, with such seductive sublimity that something in me nearly fainted with delight. “ Hold …
1922 · PDF PAGE 279
…gnising the nature of my annoyance. He finished his story in a few words, and then asked me point-blank how the cure was going. I said I didn’t see how I could even begin to be cured, and pointed out the nature of the deadlock. “Well,” he said, “ you aren’t' making any allowance for something that the doctors all talk about and forget nine-tenths of the time, which is yet the only thing that saves them from being found out as the ignorant meddlers they are. Do you know that the post-mortems on people who die in New York hospitals show that abou…
1922 · PDF PAGE 211
Below the Brutes 197 feet when he swung back into the room and snapped with genuine feeling:—. “God damn it, what a fool Iam! Why didn't you tip me the wink? We ought to have played up to him and got some heroin out of him. This morning has taken everything out of me. I don’t care about saving myself. I know I can’t save Peter. Why must a woman always have a man for her motive ? All I want is H. Both Cockie and I need it heHishly. “Look here, Lou,’ he said with a cunning grin, such as I’d never seen before, quite out of keeping with his charact…
1922 · PDF PAGE 160
…a long argument about how to take them. We felt we were somehow doing it wrong. I had been so proud of his medical knowledge, and yet it didn’t seem to throw any light. It seems that in the medical books, they speak of what they call “ Drug virginity.” The thing was to get it back; and according to the books the only way to do it is to take nothing for a long time. He said it was really just the same as any other appetite. If you have a big lunch you can't expect to be hungry at tea-time. But then, what is one to do in the meanwhile? August 18 …
1922 · PDF PAGE 212
… in The Wrong Box when he had to have a false death certificate, and wanted a “ venal doctor.” It annoyed me that it was daylight, and I didn’t know where to go. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there came the name and address of the man who had helped Billy Coleridge out of her scrape. It was a long way off, and I was horribly tired. I was hungry, but the thought of lunch made me sick. I felt that people were looking at me strangely. Was it the scar by my eye? I bought a thick veil. The girl looked surprised, I thought. I suppose it was rather funny …
1922 · PDF PAGE 207
…ike King Lamus? My silence seemed to exasperate him more than if I had taken up the quarrel. He swayed and swore with blind ferocity. He didn’t seem to know where I was. It was getting dark. He groped his way round the room looking for me; but he passed me twice before he found me. The third time he stumbled up against me, gripped me by the shoulder, and began to strike. I sat as if I were paralysed. I could not even scream. Again and again he swore and struck me savagely, yet so weakly that I could not feel the blows. Besides, I was dulled to …
1922 · PDF PAGE 354
… “ Do what thou wilt.” Do you see how the application of the Law has helped you so far?” ‘Well, of course,” I said, “it’s pretty clear I didn’t come to this planet to drug myself into my grave before my powers have had a chance to ripen. I’ve thought it necessary to keep off heroin in order to give myself a show. But I’m left flat. Life becomes more tedious every day, and the one way of escape is barred by flaming swords.” “ Bxactly,” he replied. ‘“ You’ve only discovered one thing that you don’t will; you have still to find the one thing that …
1922 · PDF PAGE 81
…iabolical beatitude. It occurred to me as a sort of joke that she might have poisoned herself. I was certainly feeling very unwell. That didn’t disturb me either. The waiter brought a bowl of mussels. We ate them dreamily. It was part of the day’s work. We enjoyed them because they were enjoyable; but nothing mattered, not even enjoyment. It struck me as strange that Haidée was simply pretending to eat, but | attributed this to preoccupation. I felt very much better. Feccles talked easily and lightly about various matters of no importance. Nobo…