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Page 1 of 71922 · PDF PAGE 69
Au Pays de Cocaine 55 _Now I don’t want you to think that that white silk packet was very big. Lou stooped over the table, her long thin tongue shot out of her mouth like an ant-eater in the Dictionary of National Biography or whatever it is, and twiddled it round in that snow till I nearly went out of my mind. I laughed like a hyena, to think of what she’d said tome. “ Your kiss is bitter with cocaine.” That chap Swinburne was always talking about bitter kisses. What did he know, poor old boy? Until you’ve got your mouth full of cocaine, you d…
1922 · PDF PAGE 325
… read last week?” said Lou, though she was rocking with laughter as much as I was. “ Shelley was being read to us,” he corrected. ‘“‘ We don’t read ourselves.” “The Tenth don’t dance,’”’ I quoted. “Don’t be an ass, Cockie,” said Lou. “Well, Hermes, but why don’t you read? ” “The Big Lion doesn’t want us to learn,” he said. “We have to learn to use our eyes, and reading spoils them.” “ But why?” asked Lou, in surprise. “I don’t understand. I ‘thought reading was the best way to get knowledge.” Dionysus put his foot down. Enough of Betause, be he…
1922 · PDF PAGE 66
…iend And that’s really very much the same spirit. “ Heart of my heart, come out of the rain, Let’s have another go of cocaine.” I know I don’t count when it comes to poetry, and the distinguished authoress can well afford to smile, if it’s only the society smile, and step quietly over my remains. But I really have got the spirit of the thing. “ Always go on till you have to stop, Let’s have another sniff, old top!” No, that’s undignified. “Carry on! over the top!” would be better. It’s more dignified and patriotic, and expresses the idea much b…
1922 · PDF PAGE 29
… As it turned out, before forty-eight hours had passed, I discovered that it was Laleham—and then again that it wasn’t. But I anticipate—don’t try to throw me out of my stride. All in good time. In the meanwhile I found I was expected to address her as Lou. ‘“ Unlimited Lou” was her nickname among the initiate. Now what I am anxious for everybody to understand is simply this. There’s hardly anybody who under- stands the way his mind works; no two minds are alike, as Horace or some old ass said; and, anyhow, the process of thinking is hardly eve…
1922 · PDF PAGE 162
…ommittee of people in Philadelphia had decided that a skirt must be not less than seven and a half inches from the ground—or not more. I don’t know which and I don’t know why. Anyhow, the net result is that the price of cocaine has gone up from a pound an ounce to anything you like to pay. So of course everybody wants it whether they want it or not, and anybody but a member of parliament would know that if you offer a man twenty or thirty times what a thing is worth in itself, he’ll go to a lot of trouble to make you want to buy it.... : Well, …
1922 · PDF PAGE 146
…got to the Fauno Ebbrio and found we weren’t there, and heard what had happened, he must have been very anxious about us.” . “In fact, I don’t see why he isn’t here now,” said the consul. ‘He must have known that you were arrested.” ““ Perhaps something’s happened to him,” suggested Lou. “ But that would really be too curious a coin- cidence.”’ , . ‘Well, these things do happen,’’ admitted the consul. He seemed somehow more at his ease with her, and better disposed, than when he was talking to me. Her magnetic beauty and her evident aristocracy…
1922 · PDF PAGE 189
… PETER and I have had a long, nasty quarrel, and I had to pull his hair for him. It broke one of my nails. I’ve let them go very long. I don’t know when I was manicured last. For some reason, they're dry and brittle. I must have them done. I’d send the boy out, but I don’t like the idea of a strange girl coming here. One never knows what may go wrong. It doesn’t really matter, either. The body is merely a nuisance, and it hurts. “So blood wrenches its pain Sardonic through heart and brain.” I am beginning to hate that horrible poem. It haunts m…
1922 · PDF PAGE 219
…. Maisie Jacobs had a flat in Park Mansions. I knew she would stand for anything, and keep her mouth shut. She was in, thank goodness. I don’t know what tale I told her. I don’t know why I was stupid enough to trouble my head to invent one. She's a real good sport, Maisie, and doesn’t care what you do as long as you don’t interfere with her. She had some white silk, and we sewed up the H. in little packets, and stitched them in the flounces of my dress. I kept about half, and put it in an old envelope she had. That was to make my peace with Pet…
1922 · PDF PAGE 230
…engers from the other world. There is a little nest of them in my liver. It is very curious to hear them chirping when they want food. I don’t know what they’ll do so far away from their mother. | It is horrible not being able to sleep. That, too, must be a preparation for the new life. I wandered up all alone to the magic room, and sat with my hands on the table opposite the old man, trying to get him to talk. His lips move, but I can’t hear what he says. I was disturbed, of course. I always am being dis- turbed. I am so tired. Why won’t they …
1922 · PDF PAGE 313
… could feel the hostility creeping into my voice. “And why not? It’s a wonderful investment and the chance of my life financially, and I don’t see why women have to poke their noses into men’s business which they don’t under- stand and never will. Between you, you may have made me miss my chance. Confound you! If I knew where to find Platt, I’d go around and sign the contract this moment. As it is, I can go down to the bank and arrange to get the money.” I pulled out my watch. “T can’t even have my lunch, I suppose,” I went on, working myself u…
1922 · PDF PAGE 85
…re none of them true. No one has yet in- vented a language from my point of view. Human life or heroin life? I’ve tried them both; and I don’t regret having chosen as I did.” I said something about heroin shortening life. A wan smile flickered on her hollow cheeks. There was something appalling in its wintry splendour. It silenced us. She looked down at her hands. I noticed for the first time with extreme surprise that they were extra- ordinarily dirty. She explained her smile. “ Of course, if you count time by years, you're very likely right. …
1922 · PDF PAGE 98
…is Corona on a plate, “ the future lies with just two things as far as big money’s concerned. One’s oil, and the other is cotton. Now, I don’t know a thing about cotton, but I'll give any sperm whale that ever blew four thousand points in twelve thousand up about oil, and you can lay your shirt on the challenger.” “Yes, I see that,’’ I replied brightly. ‘“ Of course, I don’t know the first thing about finance; but what you say is absolutely common sense. And I’ve got a sort of flair for these things, I believe.’ “Why, it’s very curious you shou…
1922 · PDF PAGE 295
… Standard knows that. I believe it’s written in golden letters round the chancel in Westminster Abbey. If it isn’t, it ought to be. “Now don’t worry. And above all things, don’t get a fit of repentance and take too little to-day and to- ' morrow. If you do, you'll have another relapse. I know it sounds as though I were contradicting myself. Make the most of it, I don’t care. I’m going to do it again in the following elegant manner. “T want you to get the whole subject of heroin out of your mind; and that is the reason why [ insist so strongly o…
1922 · PDF PAGE 362
…g. I turned on Basil point-blank. “What success ?”’ I said. “It’s true I do see my way through a formula that’s been bothering me. But I don’t see how you know about it. Do Hermes and Dionysus comprise a knowledge of the differential calculus in their attainments? ” “It’s very simple,” said the Big Lion. “ It involves a knowledge of nothing but the Law; and the Law, after all, is nothing but the plainest common sense. Do you remember my asking you before tiffin what was your true will?” “Yes,” I said, “I do. And I told you then, and I tell you …
1922 · PDF PAGE 294
…ty children instead of as pioneers of humanity undertaking a desperate adventure for the good of the race.” I began a-sort of apology; I don’t quite know for what. “Nonsense,” he interrupted. “I know perfectly well why you’re ashamed of yourself. You’ve had what you call a relapse. After getting down to five, six and seven doses, you’ve suddenly gone back. Yesterday, I see, Lou had fourteen and you sixteen—more than you were taking ever since you have been in this place. You think that’s a bad sign. I don't. “To begin with, you’ve been honest w…
1922 · PDF PAGE 157
…by that Feccles. But how was he to know? It was all really my fault. I ought to have had aan instinct about it. I feel rotten myself. London is frightfully hot; much hotter than it was in Italy. I want to go and live at Barley Grange. No, I don’t; what I want 1s to get back to where we were. There's frightfully little H. left. There's plenty of C.; only one wants so much. I wonder if this is the night stuff. The effect isn’t what it used to be. At first everything went so fast. It doesn’t any more. It makes one’s mind very full; drags out the d…
1922 · PDF PAGE 245
…ry separate bone Cold, an incarnate groan Distilled from the icy sperm Of Hell’s implacable worm.” We repeated them over and over. ... I don’t know how one thing ever turns into another. We are living in an eternity of damnation. It is a mystery how we ever get from the fire to the table or the two big Chesterfields. Every action is a separate agony rising to a climax which never comes. There is no possibility of accomplishment or of peace. “Every separate nerve Awake and alert, on a curve Whose asymptote’s name is ‘never’ In a hyperbolic ‘for …
1922 · PDF PAGE 33
…Mrs. Webster, the German woman, had spoken hardly at all. But as soon as the three men had turned their backs, she remarked acidly :— “I don’t think we’re dependent for our drinks on Mr. King Lamus. Let’s go round to the Smoking Dog.”’ Everybody agreed with alacrity. The suggestion seemed to have relieved the unspoken tension. We found ourselves in taxis, which for some in- scrutable reason are still allowed to ply practically unchecked in the streets of London. While eating and breathing and going about are permitted, we shall never be a reall…
1922 · PDF PAGE 231
…ation. The book said you mustn’t stop it while you were outside the magic room, or the Devil could get you. The. strange thing is that I don’t remember at all what happened. Did the Devil come or not ? I don’t even remember getting back to the magic room. I must have gone to sleep, for I’ve woken up frightfully hungry. Cockie’s awake too. He’s kneeling at the window with a shot gun. He aimed it two or three times, but didn’t fire. He came back to me after putting the gun in a corner. He said, ‘ It’s no good. They’ re too spry. The only chance t…
1922 · PDF PAGE 310
…s all right—I won’t allow myself to think that it can be otherwise—we can make an appointment for the morning over our business affairs. Don’t let’s lose any time.” I shook hands hastily and slipped my hand into Maisie’s arm. She ran downstairs with me, leaving the others to wait for the lift.