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Page 1 of 61922 · PDF PAGE 26
…eing lost in a world of incredibly stupid and malicious dwarfs. I found myself in Piccadilly quite suddenly. A voice purred in my ear, ‘ Good old Peter, good old sport, awfully glad I met you—we'll make a night of it.” The speaker was a handsome Welshman still in his prime. Some people thought him one of the best sculptors living. He had, in fact, a following of dis- ciples which I can only qualify as “ almost unpleasantly so.’”’ He had no use for humanity at the bottom of his heart, except as convenient shapes which he might model. He was bore…
1922 · PDF PAGE 184
…o put you off, but if you should find it more difficult than you imagine, don’t be too proud to come to me! I really do know some fairly good tips.” I was glad that Peter took it in good part. Being in good form, he realised, I suppose, that it was a serious business. We might strike a snag. August 23 The night has been a miracle! We went on taking H. pretty steadily. I think the C. spoils it. Our love bloomed afresh as if it was a new creation. We were lapsed in boundless bliss| *‘ Awake, for ever awake ! Awake as one never is | While sleep is…
1922 · PDF PAGE 48
34 The Diary of a Drug Fiend He turned his back on her and looked me straight in the face. “It strikes you as pretty good stuff, Sir Peter,” he said, ‘‘and so it is. Tl have a dose myself to show there’s no ill-feeling.”’ He suited the action to the words. I had to admit that the man began to intrigue me. What was his game? “ T hear you're one of our best flying men, Sir Peter,” he went on. “T have flown a bit now and then,” I admitted. “Well, an aeroplane’s a pretty good means of travel, but unless you’re an expert, you're likely to make a pre…
1922 · PDF PAGE 180
166 The Diary of a Drug Fiend The morphine has certainly done me a world of good. I am quite myself. I feel it by the way I am writing this entry. I have a quiet impersonal point of view. I have got back my sense of proportion. I can think of things consecutively and I feel physically much stronger, but I’ve got very sleepy again... . Joy! Cockie has just come in full of good news. He looks fine—as fine as he feels. He had a sample from a pediar he met in the Wisteria. It’s absolutely straight stuff. Pulled him round in a second. There are two …
1922 · PDF PAGE 92
…t don’t you go and forget what I hope you won't mind my calling ordinary prudence. Use a little - common sense, use precaution, exercise good judgment. However hungry you may happen to be, you don’t want to eat a dozen oxen en brochette. Natura non facit saltum. It’s only a question of applying knowledge in a reasonable manner. We had found out how to work the machine, and there was no reason in the world why we shouldn’t fly from here to Kalamazoo. So I took three quite small sniffs at reasonable intervals, and I was on the job once more. I ch…
1922 · PDF PAGE 335
…at we ought to be doing. They had come one thousand miles to be trained, and then wouldn't give us a chance to train them. But they have good brains, and the stamp of this Abbey never wears off. They’re better and wiser for their stay here, and they’ll be better and wiser still as soon as they allow themselves to admit it!” “You don’t encourage us much,” said Lou in a really alarmed tone. “I haven't got even the consola- tion of these people. I can’t fool myself that I am a Wunderkind. You probably know without my telling you that I’ve done not…
1922 · PDF PAGE 159
…ot true. I do love him with all my heart and soul; and yet, somehow, I can’t. I want to be able to love until I get back. Oh, what’s the good of talking about it! I know I love him, and yet I know I can’t love any one. , I took a whole lot of cocaine. It dulled what I felt. I was able to fancy I loved him. We went to the show. It was awfully stupid. I was thinking all the time how I wanted to love, and how I wanted dope, and how I wanted to stop dope so that. the dope might do me some good. I couldn’t really feel. It was a dull, blind sense of …
1922 · PDF PAGE 294
… You insist on considering your- selves as naughty children instead of as pioneers of humanity undertaking a desperate adventure for the good of the race.” I began a-sort of apology; I don’t quite know for what. “Nonsense,” he interrupted. “I know perfectly well why you’re ashamed of yourself. You’ve had what you call a relapse. After getting down to five, six and seven doses, you’ve suddenly gone back. Yesterday, I see, Lou had fourteen and you sixteen—more than you were taking ever since you have been in this place. You think that’s a bad sig…
1922 · PDF PAGE 261
CHAPTER I KING LAMUS INTERVENES It is only three months ago; but it seems a lifetime. My memory is now very good, and I remember more details of the past every day. I am writing this account of the past three months, partly because my best friend tells me that it will strengthen it if I exercise it by putting down what has occurred in sequence. And you know, even a month ago, I couldn’t have recalled anything at all with regard to certain periods. My friend tells me that memory fails me in part because nature mercifully wishes to hide from us t…
1922 · PDF PAGE 219
… silly I was. Maisie Jacobs had a flat in Park Mansions. I knew she would stand for anything, and keep her mouth shut. She was in, thank goodness. I don’t know what tale I told her. I don’t know why I was stupid enough to trouble my head to invent one. She's a real good sport, Maisie, and doesn’t care what you do as long as you don’t interfere with her. She had some white silk, and we sewed up the H. in little packets, and stitched them in the flounces of my dress. I kept about half, and put it in an old envelope she had. That was to make my pe…
1922 · PDF PAGE 66
… affair is liable to cause a temporary derangement of one’s ordinary habits. What I liked about it was that evidently Gretel was a jolly good sport, whatever people said about her. And she wasn’t an ordinary kind of good old sport either. I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t admit that she is what you may call a true friend in the
1922 · PDF PAGE 258
…got in front of a glass. Howis it thatin all the times I’ve looked at myself in these months I’ve never seen what they see in a second ? Good God! it’s too awful to talk about. My face is drawn and haggard and pale and wrinkled. I might be sixty. Well, what do I care? I’ve had three beautiful sniffs ! Madame dolled me up as well as she could. Already I looked much better, and I felt superb. Peter was out when I got to Greek Street; so I opened my dressing case and wrote this up, and had a few more sniffs. The only trouble before was simply our …
1922 · PDF PAGE 291
First Mid 277 Lamus laughed merrily. “Good for you, kid, very much to the point ! . “T’ve wandered a good deal through queer parts of the world, as you know, and in some of those places there are still taboos about eating and hunting and fishing—all sorts of things which we in England take quite simply, in consequence of which they give no trouble. “ But where a man has to think of a thousand things before he has his dinner: what he eats, and how it was killed, and who cooked it, and so on for ever and ever, he gets no chance to develop his min…
1922 · PDF PAGE 57
… too, a kind of half- baked Nonconformist parson, one Jabez Platt, who had realised early in life that his mission was to go about doing good. Some people said that he had done a great deal of good—to himself. His principle in politics was a very simple one: If you see anything, stop it; everything that is, is wrong; the world is a very wicked place. He was very enthusiastic about putting through a law for suppressing the evil of drugs. We smiled our sympathefic assent, with sly glances at our hostess. If the old fool had only known that we wer…
1922 · PDF PAGE 173
…licated gesture quite incomprehensible; but it vaguely suggested to me some ceremonial reverence connected with death. “‘T had the great good fortune to be adopted by this man; he taught me how to climb; in particular, how to glissade. He made me start down the slope from all kinds of complicated positions ; head first and so on; and I had to let myself slide without attempting to save myself until he gave the word, and then I had to recover myself and finish, either sitting or standing, as he chose, to swerve or to stop; while he counted five.…
1922 · PDF PAGE 124
…rselves of international importance. “‘ Well, it’s like this. If I turn up in Capri, which is a very small place, without a particularly good excuse, people will look at me and talk about me, and if they look too hard and talk too much, it’s ten to one I’m spotted,.not necessarily for what I am, but as a stranger of suspicious character. And if the man I’m after gets on his guard, there'll be absolutely nothing doing.” ‘" Yes,” I said, ‘I see all that, but—well, we’d do anything for good old England—goes without saying, but how can we help you …
1922 · PDF PAGE 351
The True Will 337 19. Most of us dig our graves with our teeth. Heroin has destroyed my appetite, therefore it is good for me. 20. I have got into all sorts of messes with women in the past. Heroin has destroyed my interest in them. 21. Heroin has removed my desire for liquor. If I must choose, I really think heroin is the better. 22. Man has a right to spiritual ambition. He has evolved to what he is, through making dangerous experiments. Heroin certainly helps me to obtain a new spiritual outlook on the world. I have no right to assume that t…
1922 · PDF PAGE 123
… pal down. Any time you find yourself with a little loose cash, just weigh in. You can have it out of my bit.” “ Well, that’s really too good of you,” I said, “ and I won’t forget it. It’ll be all right, I suppose, now you’ve got the thing through, to wait till I get back to England.” “Why, of course,” he replied. ‘“ Don’t think about business at all. It was really rotten of me to talk shop to a man on his honeymoon.” Lou took up the conversation. ‘“ But do tell us,” she began, ‘‘ why this thusness. It suits you splendidly, you know. But after …
1922 · PDF PAGE 93
…ion to. However, I suppose the fellow had to have his cigarette case, and after all, when you do find a table upside down, it’s not much good pretending that you don’t notice it. And very likely, on the whole, the best way to pass over the incident pleasantly is to turn it into a kind of joke. _ And I must say that Feccles showed the tact of a perfect gentleman in avoiding any direct allusion to the circumstances that caused the circumstances that were responsible for the circumstances that gave rise to the circumstances which it was so difficu…
1922 · PDF PAGE 321
…ergy on the part of everybody with whom we came into contact. Our little party obviously represented undreamed-of possibilities of doing good business. But no one seemed to want to fulfil even that last of human ambitions: the acquiring of the good will of prosperous travellers. “Don’t be downhearted,” laughed Lamus. ‘“ Your trouble is that you are looking for permanence in the wrong place. Do you see those two men?” On the road below us were two goatherds, one driving his flock up from the town after having been milked, the other driving them …