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Page 1 of 61922 · PDF PAGE 239
… has happened. We have used up all the heroin, and there is hardly any cocaine. I remembered what I had sewn away in my white frock, and went to get it. It was on the floor in a corner of the drawing-room. It was all shrunk and rumpled and dirty, and it was still quite wet. I suppose I must have gone a long walk in the rain, though I don’t remember anything about it. All the heroin was washed away. There wasn’t a grain left. Peter came in and found me crying. He understood at once what had happened. All he said was :— “ You'll have to go back t…
1922 · PDF PAGE 270
…in a woman is called snagging. He constantly used the word “ indiscretion ”’ as if it were a weapon. We both winced. “You accept me,” he went on, “ as responsible for getting you out of this mess ? ”’ There was nothing else to do. It went against the grain. However, I blurted out something about being grateful. “You needn’t talk that nonsense,” he retorted severely. ‘‘ It’s my business to help people to do their wills. The gratitude is on my side. I want you to understand from the beginning that you are helping me to justify my existence by all…
1922 · PDF PAGE 86
…he God-intoxicated man,”’ murmured Lou faintly, shooting a sleepy glance at Haidée from beneath her heavy blue-veined eyelids. : “Yes,’’ went on Feccles. “‘ She always carries about one of his books. She goes to sleep on his words; and when her eyes open, they fall upon the page.” He tapped the table as he spoke. His quick intuition had understood that this strange incident was dis- quieting to us. He wriggled his thumb and forefinger in the air towards the waiter. The man interpreted the gesture as a request for the bill, and went off to get i…
1922 · PDF PAGE 225
…need never run short any more. We'll go down to Barley Grange and have another honeymoon. You're my honeysuckle, and I’m your bee.” _ He went and flung open the door and shouted for the woman to pack our things while we went out to breakfast, and have the bill ready. *‘ What infernal fools we are,’’ he cried as we went sailing down the street to the Wisteria, where you can get real French coffee and real English bacon. We looked at ourselves in the long mirror. We
1922 · PDF PAGE 230
… am being dis- turbed. I am so tired. Why won’t they let me alone ? This time it was a shot. The magic room has windows all around it. I went to see who could have fired. It was very bright moonlight ; but I could see nothing. Then there came another flash and report. I went round to the side it came from, and watched. It was by the lake. I watched a long time. Then a crouching figure hidden among the reeds sprang up, put a gun to its shoulder and fired twice in rapid succession. Then it screamed, and ran to the house throwing away its gun. I w…
1922 · PDF PAGE 305
…ll, or why you don’t sell the shares through a broker.”’ At this moment Lou popped into the room. It annoyed me. Did I show it? Her face went suddenly white as marble. She stood. in the doorway of the bedroom for a moment, swaying; and then went swiftly and softly through the room to the hallway. The portiére swung to behind her—and I instantly forgot her existence, after vaguely supposing that she had gone to get her furs to show to Gretel, returning to the bedroom by the other door so as not to disturb us. Platt was explaining the situation. …
1922 · PDF PAGE 354
…. He had drawn a bow in a venture; and it had pierced the King of Israel between the joints of his harness. He got up with alacrity, and went off with a wave of the hand. “Think it over, dear boy,” said he, “ and tell me your sad story in the morning.” ; I was in a very disturbed state of mind. I went to look for Lou, but she had gone for a walk with Cypris, and when she came back, she wore an air of wisdom which I found insupportable. However, I told her my story. To my disgust, she simply nodded as if highly appreciative of some very obscure …
1922 · PDF PAGE 90
… exhausted. | “I couldn’t sleep at all,” she said, ‘after what seemed a very long time in which I tried to pull myself together. My mind went running on like mad—lI’ve had a perfectly ripping time—perfectly top-hole! I simply couldn’t get up till I remembered what that man Feccles said about a hair of the dog. So I rolled out of bed and crawled across to the H. and took one little sniff, and sat on the floor till it worked. It’s great stuff when you know the ropes. It picked me up ina minute. So I had a bath, and got these things on. I’m still …
1922 · PDF PAGE 324
…use down there,” he said, “T’ll take you to lunch with him if you promise to behave properly. And that’s where the doat-woman lives,” he went on, apparently assured by our guarantees of proper conduct. The solemnity of the elder boy and the rollicking disposition of the other carried us from spasm to spasm of suppressed laughter. “We seem to have walked straight into a fairy tale,” said Lou. “The Big Lion says that that’s the only true kind of tale,” replied Hermes, evidently prepared to argue the subject at great length if necessary. But I adm…
1922 · PDF PAGE 175
Short Commons 161 but the words wouldn’t come. King Lamus went to him and took his hand. ‘ Drugs are the slope in front of us,” he said, ‘‘ and I’m wily old Eckenstein, and you're ambitious young Lamus. And I say ‘stop!’ and when you show me that you can stop, when you have picked yourself together and are standing on the slope laughing, I'll show you how to go on.” We knew at the back of our minds that the man was inexorable. We hated him as the weak always hate the strong, and we had to respect and admire him, detesting him all the more for t…
1922 · PDF PAGE 114
…e. “TI say, Lou,’ I stammered, “I wish you'd count this. I can’t make it come right. I think I must have been going a bit too hard.” She went through the various pockets of my porte- feuille. ‘““Haven’t you some money in your pocket?” she said. I went through myself with sudden anxiety. I had money in nearly every pocket ; but it only amounted to so much small change. A thousand francs here and a hundred francs there, a fifty-pound note in my waist- coat, a lot of small billsk—— In the meanwhile, Lou had added up the contents of my porte-feuill…
1922 · PDF PAGE 55
… the hotel, sir, and get some warm clothes. Look how the lady’s shivering.” It was perfectly true. There was nothing else to be done. We went together slowly up the beach. There was no question of sleeping, of course.. Both of us were as fresh as paint. What we needed was hot food and lots of it. We got it. It seemed as if we had entered upon an entirely new phase. The disaster had purged us of that orchestral oratorio business; but, on the other hand, we were still full of intense practical activity. We ate three breakfasts each. And as we ate…
1922 · PDF PAGE 128
…of a Drug Fiend into the most mysterious quarters. But everything that happened wove itself intoxicatingly into the tapestry of love. We went out on absurd adventures. Even when they were disappointing from the ordinary standpoint, the disappointment itself seemed to add piquancy to the joke. One couldn’t help being grateful to the man for his protecting care. We went into plenty of places where the innocent tourist is considered fair game; and his idiomatic Italian invariably deterred the would-be sportsman. Even at the hotel, he fought the ma…
1922 · PDF PAGE 161
Short Commons 147 August 19 We got back from Bond Street bored and stupefied. We went off unexpectedly to sleep ; and when we woke it was this morning. I can’t understand why a long sleep like that doesn’t refresh one. We're both absolutely fagged. Cockie said a meal would put us right, and he rang down for breakfast in bed. But when it came, we couldn’t either of us eat it. I remember what Haidée said about the spiritual life. We were being prepared to take our places in the new order of Humanity. It’s perfectly right that one should have to u…
1922 · PDF PAGE 334
320 The Diary of a Drug Fiend ‘“‘ That reminds me,” she said, ‘‘ I must get you your charts.” She went to a cabinet and produced two forms. We languidly marked our little crosses in the proper section. “‘ Excuse the interruption,” she said, “but the Magical Record is always the first consideration in the Abbey.” The heroin woke me completely. “‘ T see the point, I think. All your rules are intended to reduce the part of life that has to be run by rules, as much as possible.” ‘“‘ That’s it,” she nodded emphatically. | “ But I say,” said Lou, “ i…
1922 · PDF PAGE 380
…gs. It was like a musical comment upon his summary of the situation. The moon sank behind the hill, the peasants finished their wine and went off singing to their cottages; Lou and I found ourselves alone under the stars. The breeze bore the murmur of the sea up the scented slopes. The lights in the town went out. The Pole Star stood above the summit of the rock. Our eyes were fixed on it. We could imagine the precession of the FEquinoxes as identical with our own perpetual travelling through time. Lou pressed my hand. I found myself repeating …
1922 · PDF PAGE 122
…. I instinctively knew that he would prefer me not to mention his name. At this moment the train began to move, and we had to hop on. We went at once to his compartment. It was a coupé, and he was its sole occupant. I have already described the shock which the re- appearance of Feccles had administered to my nerves. Normally, I should have felt very awkward indeed, but the cocaine lifted me easily over the fence. The incident became welcome; an additional adven- ture in the fairy tale which we were living. Lou herself was all gush and giggles t…
1922 · PDF PAGE 146
…ion with such superb aplomb. ‘Won’t you sit down ? ”’ said the consul, ‘“‘ I’m sure you must be very tired.” He put a chair for her, and went back to his seat on the sofa. “It’s a little awkward, you see,” he went on. “I don’t, as a matter of fact, believe all I read in the papers. And there are several very curious points about the situation which you don’t seem to see your- self. And I don’t mind admitting that your failure to see them makes a very favourable impression.” He paused and bit his lip, and pulled at his neck. | “It’s very difficu…
1922 · PDF PAGE 236
…end acts as if he had learnt some terrible secret which he had to keep from me. He always seems afraid of being spied on or overheard. I went up to the magic room to-night, Peter was sitting in the old man’s chair writing in a book. I couldn’t understand it at first. I had come straight up, and he was fast asleep downstairs! Then, of course, the whole mystery became clear. While he’s asleep, his astral double comes up and does magic. I knew it was very dangerous to disturb any one’s astral double, so I tiptoed out of the room ; but the double f…
1922 · PDF PAGE 215
… long fangs. I was nauseated by the stale whisky in his breath. He understood immediately; let my chair back to its normal position, and went back to his desk. He sat there and watched me eagerly like a man stalking game. As if inadvertently, he took out the bottle and played with it aimlessly. In his smooth varnished voice he began to tell me what he called the romance of his life. The first time he saw me he had fallen passionately in love with me ; but he was a married man, and his sense of honour prevented his yielding to his passion. He ha…