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Page 1 of 11904 · PDF PAGE 85
…self as an officer and a gentleman would do, provided he were also a devout Christian. He foresaw trou- ble. It came pretty quickly. Two days afterwards Clayton had to quit his lovers room in a great hurry, as heavy footsteps trod the passage. The Captain was in his dressing-gown and proved quite Arcadian beneath. He was in bed in a jiffy, and discovered heat and moisture to an extent unwar- ranted by the climate. I thought you would never come, love, sighed the charming middy, with re- sourceful tact, so Ive been whiling away the time.…
1904 · PDF PAGE 56
…land ; I wallowed in the inkstand of his arse. I mixed my prolific spunk with his not less abundant shit : in brief, we loved. The happy days fled all too fast in mutual mas- turbation, in pure buggery, in all the arts of the successful sodomite. I thrill at this very hour with the sweet memory of those happy careless days. My prickle, my jolly little pizzle, my dainty Davy, my vimmy little Ox in [54]
1904 · PDF PAGE 105
… snuggery : If you were fuckings lady And I were lord of buggery. If you were queen of spending And I were lord of spunk, Wed fuck for days together And oil your chamois-leather, And teach my tool a bending. Arid prove your twat a skunk, If you were the queen of spending And I were lord of spunk. EPILOGUE If I were bubos victim And you orchitis prey We find what strange delight is In epididymitis. Your cock the tongues that licked him Would have the deuce to pay If I were bubos victim And you orchitis prey. [107]
1904 · PDF PAGE 103
…ee. If ye cannot ape heaven, ye can ape hells. And so can the sea. O foolish and hideous hucksters That linger by bubbie and quim ! Your days are ridiculous fucksters Are drawn into twilight, and dim. For in spite of the Virgin her limp son We are tinged with the sodomites taint : All owing to thee, Mr Jimson, O, Stephane, Saint ! [105]
1904 · PDF PAGE 60
…ore I am a father . . . And that is all my song. There ! Let me alone now, and I will continue the Archbishops recital. How was it that days so sweet must pass ? Oh Jimson ! Oh divine maestro and thy Opera Or- ange Pekoe ! To this hour the lust of thy dear shit-sewer sends the creamy essence of immortal- ity all over my drawers. But it ended, and bit- terly. The careless youth got too near S...y B.....s, and her breath killed him, as it would any creature higher in the scale of creation than a L..s or a H...s. They have the immunities of t…
1904 · PDF PAGE 33
…from the passion of love, which has since done so much to regulate and in- spire my career. The incident occurred on this wise. For some days my ponderous and unwieldy bollocks had become turgid and swollen with the fluid we know, my boy, you dog ! As spunk. Eighty-three pounds and four ounces they weighed on the penny-in-the-slot machine at our village station, and had it not been for the singular ro- bustness of my physique, unenervated by de- bauch, I should have seen myself condemned to share the unenviable lot of the Samoan with ele- phant…
1904 · PDF PAGE 86
…, so hes gone fishing. Fishing ! Ill fish him when he comes home. I believe hes gone to see that lioness he was so fond of in the old days. She was rude enough to both of us yesterday though-so are all the beasts since we ate that apple Lord God made all the fuss about. The serpents as much a gentleman as ever, of course. He was at the same public school as Lord God, he says. Im sure hes got better manners, though ! The old [86]
1904 · PDF PAGE 20
…ling love-lotion flooded the peritoneal cavity of the now rapidly pu- trefying Countess the weather was hot, and she had been for some days a martyr to internal gan- grene hardly had the venerable and saintly ec- clesiastic subsided with a scream, prophetic of ap- proaching mania, upon the corpse of his victim, when the curtain was withdrawn and a reporter from the Daily M . . . stepped carelessly into view. His tool still dangled outside his trousers ; for re- porters do not wear drawers or carry handker- chiefs, and he had relieved his fe…
1904 · PDF PAGE 48
…nding anonyma fainted with pleasure, and the cautious Kluckchoo withdrew, only to be summoned in all haste to the royal apartments three days later, when Mrs Arthur disclosed her find to her keeper. To make a long story short, the K..g was so de- lighted with the Appendix-fuck of Kluckchoo, that he did absolutely nothing else all day and all night. Affairs of state went by the board, and to the cringing official who dared to remind him of his approaching coronation, he replied : Bugger the Coronation ! This language shocked the prudish English,…
1904 · PDF PAGE 77
…res only 14 hrs, 57 min. The answer was that she was peculiarly constructed in this way. Her so-called monthlies occurred every four days, and lasted but twelve hours, never more. I was consequently biffed off every time about 925 or so. The wisdom of this provision of Nature was soon evident. The desirability of breeding another Leila had lent wings (to use a metaphor) to the reproductive mechanism of the lousy-notched barrack-hack. So that what follows will occasion no surprise in the truly scientific mind. We celebrated the 900th creamy,…
1904 · PDF PAGE 47
…r the shadow of it. Do that to me, dear heart ! Cried the randy Moll Muckmeabart. Not I, said the expert, you would not get up for three days and more : such is the pleasure. This made her only the keener, and when he saw that she would cry a rape unless he consented and you must see, darling, how necessary it is for anyone in my posi- tion to be able to do that at any moment the witnesses are all ready, and you would not stand a chance ! He abandoned the unequal con- test ; and the unique performance of Kluckchoo, the Human Corkscrew…
1904 · PDF PAGE 25
…impotence, the Czar, the Khe- dive, and other poxy potentates thus fell easy vic- tims to her lewd importunities. Malheur ! in her later days she caught the King of E . . . . . ds impo- tence, and was compelled to the end of her life for the disease proved intractable to solace her- self as best she could with the cold comfort of a common clicket. Take out that bald-headed hermit ! (He inter- rupted himself) Whack it up ! Wallop it in ! Whats the nanny-goat for, you pimp, if you cant go tail- twitching her hairy old tuzzy-muzzy ? You sha…
1904 · PDF PAGE 41
…ghed ; shut your mug and open your urethra, and get on with the bum tickling, cant you ? (I give you my word I had not spoken for three days and more.) But argu- ment is proverbially vain with a woman in the middle of a rousing bacon-rubbing. I blocked steadily on. In vain I had cudgelled my wits to find some substitute for the fatiguing exercise of rump- ing ; but the surgeon warned me that the sugges- tion would be taken in ill part. Her Majesty, he explained, is before all things respectable : not to save life, no ! Not to ensure the greatn…
1904 · PDF PAGE 62
…uch was my fond farewell to Stephen Jimson. But Leila, who ran to embrace me, was for the first time in all her life defeated. For seven days she buffeted my beard-splitter like Palinurus and the waves ; but she too failed. I had broken every record in the long-distance competition : and I needed rest. Even the pelvis of my boy love failed to rouse me : once the reaction had set in, nothing could stop it. On the eighth day Leila fell back with a weary and long-drawn howl : on the twenty- sixth she recovered sufficiently to try again : this time…
1904 · PDF PAGE 78
…y man-molasses, my posterity pudding if you prefer the phrase, soaked up into her womb, and she conceived and bare a host of children 36 days later. In vain I stood by her bed- side, fucked them to death as they emerged, and threw them aside. I was beaten. I will not dwell upon this painful subject : suffice it to say that no less than 175 (all girls, with an admixture of mon- key and slug from maternal impressions infidelities I had long suspected without being able to prove) were actually born and our reputations would have been ruined bu…
1904 · PDF PAGE 39
…meichaz, as he himself would have called it, done up in a solid steel case as a measure of pre- caution.) John Brown gave up after ten days or so, and since then he spread his hands in de- spair and the sweat trickled down his cheeks. Yes ; it was up to me, and no mistake. Terrible news came from the south : one of the finest regi- ments in the service had refused to obey the order to proceed north : another had thrown down its arms, and tossed off as one man. Yet a third was so worn by its debauchery with the gilded youth who haunt the Kni…