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Page 1 of 11904 · PDF PAGE 70
…s and mighty stiff hair- splitters were guarding them and occasionally sat- isfying their lust upon the smoking arses of the negroes. My father and mother appeared with my sister and myself, and we lost no time in getting into position for those delights that are the cardi- nal of the family system all the world over. As it was my birthday, I had the chief place. My fathers handsome quickening-peg burrowed my juicy bot- tom-hole, while my mothers central furrow was crushed upon my ploughshare as I lay on my back with my legs in the air. My si…
1904 · PDF PAGE 68
…ces were of a more serious sort. To my mind flagellation is a mere mockery if the victims survive it. I had attained my majority when my father resolved to give a great treat to celebrate it. His numerous negro slaves yes, friend H..msw..th, I know you think I am lying, but my father, though living in France at the time of my birth, had subsequently bought a plantation in the West Indies, and I had dutifully gone out there for the joyful celebration his numerous negro slaves as I said before oh yes, you are a clever fellow, I know slave…
1904 · PDF PAGE 74
… the rapture I ex- perienced from my sister and mother when they laid themselves out to give me a real good birthday, especially when my father, honest man ! Came to the rescue in his bluff hearty old English fash- ion. Ah ! [72]
1904 · PDF PAGE 37
…nds of Scotland, and no doubt the story of my exploit enlivened many a dull wet night in that dreariest of countries. Anyhow, one day my father came down from his office in a state of appalling excitement, waving a telegram. He masturbated four times in his anxiety to control his feelings, and let us have the news, which when read seemed as bald and colourless as the pee-hole of an albino baby. But there was a hidden mean- ing. The telegram read simply : Self incapacitated by overwork B.lm.r.l commandeered can no more hear you can help majesty …
1904 · PDF PAGE 57
…er have given up the job : when Abbess and Artichoke have abandoned the article in derision : then has Beelzebub come to the rescue, and Father Abraham has believed the yarn about Isaac. Now, while I feel restored, I will ask you to accommodate me in your turd-trap, and I will sing you beautiful songs about the time when I was young. He was on my back before I could reply, and the fetid fuck-fritters of the foul- flip-flapped Father frizzled in my reeking-rectum. [55]
1904 · PDF PAGE 116
…ch Till the bloody old bitch Was A1 at Lloyds evermore. But with earthly success not content, She grew pious to Heaven she went. Son, Father, and Ghost And the heavenly host Have all got the double event. [118]
1904 · PDF PAGE 137
… ! Lets thank the Lord for his blessing ! But his wife whispered Hush ! You silly old ass ! Its only our Mary confessing ! Her fathers curate entered her room With the fixed intention of fucking her ; But she went Pss-boom-whz-brr-pss-boom In spite of the corks she had stuck in her. With her virgin cunt he lustily grapples, For she saucily, randily beckoned ; But she had to let go, and his rotten apples Were washed away in a second. She angrily wired for Sir Walter Blunt Come ; bring down your scalpel and skewer, And give me cunt t…
1904 · PDF PAGE 60
… her garter ; Her strong-room I assaulted, And occupied her farter. From which you all may gather That it will not be long Before I am a father . . . And that is all my song. There ! Let me alone now, and I will continue the Archbishops recital. How was it that days so sweet must pass ? Oh Jimson ! Oh divine maestro and thy Opera Or- ange Pekoe ! To this hour the lust of thy dear shit-sewer sends the creamy essence of immortal- ity all over my drawers. But it ended, and bit- terly. The careless youth got too near S...y B.....s, and her bre…
1904 · PDF PAGE 76
…had my work cut out in other ways, for Leila was still with me, and you know from your own experience that she has but to grip once your father-confessor with her amazing man-trap, and it is not so easy to withdraw. It fell on this wise. The English were still dis- embarking in interminable file upon the sunny shores of the Low Countries when my nine hun- dredth creamy emission for that period roared like the breaking of billows into that living fountain. We were wont to celebrate this emission, as its oc- currence was wont to mark the near ces…
1904 · PDF PAGE 19
…eased, he replied, when he had swallowed the cachet of her emotions. But my venerable pudendum asks at- tention. It shall have it, father ! said the lady, and forthwith she caught his purple-knobbed pillar in her hands, and violently rubbed it in a direction perpendicular to its length, increasing both pace and pressure as the excitement of the gentleman grew more intense. But in spite of all she could do he soon ejected a small but stringy morsel of veri- table sperm, which she deftly caught in her left nostril, and sniffed up, with th…
1904 · PDF PAGE 23
…pent my life trying to get back. No sooner had I left my mothers breast than she put me on to her clitoris, and I was hardly laid in my fathers arms before his doodle was between my baby legs and jerking its creamy essence into the sunny air of Rome, where, as you may be aware, I first drew breath. I was a healthy and well-formed child ; my bauble nothing remarkable, but my bollocks peculiar for their enormous size and as it subsequently proved the amount and quality of the fluid they were able to secrete, while my anus, fostered as you m…
1904 · PDF PAGE 67
…ent, and the discarded godemiche dropped idle to the floor. Allow me, madam ! Said I, step- ping forward for the first time. Thank you, father ! She answered, and I insinuated my poperine pear into her fruit-basket. She then got down to busi- ness, and her birch flashed in the air. Above the girl, the birch-rod bright Was brandishing like gleam of light ; The arse was dark below ; When with the oceans mighty swing When heaving to the tempests wing She hit that open O : As Scott so narrowly escaped singing. Ah ! she yelled, in a perfect tra…
1904 · PDF PAGE 73
…ipes with my rutilant ramrod, while the rest buggered me in turn. Not until night fell did I desist from the de- lightful sport, when my father exclaimed with a huge guffaw : By Gods bollocks, Galahad, but there is nobody to cook the dinner ! But my sister was as clever as she was beauti- ful and good. The overseers gathered a fire of sticks, and she soon had some capital nigger meat broiling. For soup she gave us some stallion jelly from her chocked-up cuckoos nest ; for fish the scrapings of the old negresses diddly-pouts made an excellent…
1904 · PDF PAGE 71
… the luckless lassie into a sea of agony, for their acrid and poisonous slime corrupted whatever it touched. The girl was insensible. My father, furi- ous at the sight, leapt up and struck her bleeding face again and again with his whip, but all in vain. They dissuaded him. When she comes to, he roared, fill her up with cayenne pepper and leave her in the sun ! Another, a boy of ten years, was now brought up, and my mother, taking a needle and Some fine silver wire sewed up his urethra so tightly that no drop of liquid could possibly pass. She …
1904 · PDF PAGE 62
…dition of peace, not he who insults and drives to desperation an adversary perhaps ready to make a compromise mutually beneficial. Come, father ! I addressed the astonished priest. Let us be going : there are better turds in the arse than ever came out of it. Such was my fond farewell to Stephen Jimson. But Leila, who ran to embrace me, was for the first time in all her life defeated. For seven days she buffeted my beard-splitter like Palinurus and the waves ; but she too failed. I had broken every record in the long-distance competition : and …