Thelema ScholarTHE ALEISTER CROWLEY COLLECTION
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1904 · PDF PAGE 66

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

… Mary Wilson. To skate lightly over the preliminaries, there was a beautiful milliner, thought strict, but really very lascivious, and a little girl of twelve with a hairless crack complete, thought lascivious but really very strict : and her schoolmistress, a tall woman of thirty with an arse like a steam-roller, a coyote like a slatequarry, and a clitoris like Lord Penrhyn, for it had been known to stand out for seven years against the demands of the work- man. They got the little girl at a disadvantage over a chair, while Leila and I looked …

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1904 · PDF PAGE 59

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

THE ARCHBISHOPS’S SONG I nicked her suck-and-swallow, Her intercrural trench, Her home-sweet-home, her hollow, Her little shop of stench. I knocked her up the mustard-pot ; I swivelled her in the socket ; I stirred her creamy custard-pot With my rampageous rocket. I jumbled up her harbour ; I climbed her Jacob’s ladder : I slept inside her arbour ; I stung her with my adder. I larded her factotum : I fucked her breadwinner ; My thrysus and its scrotum Gave her starch pie for dinner. Her Mary-Jane I mashed, Her little sister jiggled ; Her sack o…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 48

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

… the qualities of the pseudopodia of the Amoeba. Get out your Marshall and Hurst, and read up Amoeba, and you will know as much as I do. Little by little he advanced this engine into the palpitating cavity of the bona roba both by front and rear. Her uterus soon filled up, but for one and a half hours the giant tentacle of the wily Kluckchoo pressed up her hairy arsehole, and filled her greasy guts to bursting. Groping about in the dark with his exquisitely sensitive and per- fectly trained tool, he at last found the lady’s Ap- pendix, into the…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 84

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…never slept at all that night ; but I never heard either of them regret the fact. But Monty was terribly disgusted with Andrew, and when little Ambrose struck Monty (who had called him, with naive eloquence, “ Suck-shit ”) the latter knocked him down and kicked him. The lieutenant, who was near, had to interfere, and the dark languor- ous boy was punished. This mean revenge (as he understood it) irritated Monty still more and he eventually refused to speak to Andrew at all. It was the night of a big dinner ashore and Monty Le W... had gone up t…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 31

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ate-minded girl now turned her attention to the part in question. By her incomparable gift of suction, which years of practice and not a little natural aptitude had be- stowed upon her rectum, she absorbed the bulk of the faeces ; while any unconsidered trifles stuck in her abundant and curly pubic hair. I could not restrain my enthusiasm, or my thorn-in-the-flesh from bursting my fly — the buttons were but care- lessly sewn on, for my mother was too randy with the sly sucks I was bestowing upon her acciden- tally-exposed clitoris to pay strict…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 56

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…e wanted to feel that he had but to crook his middle finger and nine-inch knockers would come running up by the thousands to grope their little Stevie’s brown crack. I loved his coarse-skinned handsome face ; I sucked with considerable élan his fine but over- worked sugar-stick ; I pumped the rare but treacly semen from his gland ; I wallowed in the inkstand of his arse. I mixed my prolific spunk with his not less abundant shit : in brief, we loved. The happy days fled all too fast in mutual mas- turbation, in pure buggery, in all the arts of t…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 123

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

[125] ROSA MYSTICA Rose, that you are a little sod Your shapely pouting arsehole shows. Your tiny turds drop out like cod-Roes From this our skepticism grows, And we may doubt the story odd About the Ghost who gaily goes (The priests say) to put you in a pod. Your Jesus would not have a nose ! Your cunt would pox the eternal God, Rose !

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1904 · PDF PAGE 58

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…obiography with which he has so far pleasantly and inoffensively regaled us. Ah ! You would, would you, you penny-a-peep flapper ? Well, little girls will be little girls. Adam fell for less than this — Oh ! If you suck so I shall go mad — Stop, for God’s sake ! This was the song.

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1904 · PDF PAGE 55

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…im- mortal poem, and Art seemed a halfway house. Suiting the action to the thought, I soon found my- self in Paris, and rooms in a dirty little basement in the Montparnasse Quarter. My next-door neighbours were photographers, one, by name L..s, calling himself an artist, and his partner H...s, pluming himself upon his business capacity. L..s was the son of a charlatan parson once well known in Eng- land as a mountebank, while his mother, disgusted that he was a boy, brought him up as a girl, as far as she possibly could. He even slept with her …

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1904 · PDF PAGE 131

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ee ; We’re bloody Prodestunts, We run three. Some’s ’appy Cawthlics : Cuckolds an’ ’ores They like : in consikence Five they adores. All little buggers What’s gawt any sense ’Itches on a dildo, And damns the expense. [133]

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1904 · PDF PAGE 79

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

nothing about that unfortunate little contretemps of the Countess : and I hope to see you again some time, and I will go on with the story of my life. Au revoir, then, and farewell ! The Lord bless you, and keep you : the Lord lift up the light of his counte- nance upon you and give you peace : both now and for evermore, Amen ! He made the sign of the Cross, spat in my left eye, and spunked in my right ; then ushered me to the door with courtly politeness. At the gate he impressed a loving kiss upon my arsehole, and gave a final but business-li…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 24

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ighing fifty-six pounds on my erect lance-of-love alone, and thus accom- plishing the act of sex with my hands tied behind my back. Poor little devil ! As I came, she shot off my well-oiled plenipo and was immediately split up from the fork to the shoulders by the giant callibis- tris of Lord R . . . y, whose affection for a buttered bun is only equalled by the size of his Julius Cae- sar. This truly formidable weapon is worth a mo- ment’s digression. It hangs below the owner’s knees, making the kilt an unconventional, if effec- tive, wear. In …

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1904 · PDF PAGE 90

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…l discover everything. I’d rather any other plan.” “ My plan is necessary — you don’t know all the secret yet.” And with an affectionate little snap at the clitoris as he passed, Satan again withdrew into his cosy hiding-place. Adam soon returned victorious from his raid, and was very glad to lay his fur aside, and seek the embraces of his consort. Any doubts he might have had were soon removed by Eve whose mass of tawny hair soon hung over his thighs, while her little red mouth proceeded to excite him to the [90]

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1904 · PDF PAGE 139

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ur farts would smoke, your turds would hiss ; Then you would take my cock to kiss, My darling ! I used to hang on every word Your dainty little mouth averred, And make milk puddings with a turd, My darling ! I shat of yore between your bubs. Those fat amusing butter-tubs : Love’s butterflies can grow from grubs, My darling ! Aye ! ’Tis a keen remorseful knife To think of you, my fucksome wife, In this my solitary life. My darling !

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1904 · PDF PAGE 129

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…tinking pits. Her arsehole grips My prick : my wits Are in eclipse When Celia shits. IX When Celia croaks I mean to play One of my funny little jokes, Ah ! Dust to dust and clay to clay When Celia croaks. I’ll dress her up in cloaks and toques Etcetera, earn her away And after sundry final pokes Hire her at three-and-six a day To G...H... — what a hoax ! “ None but the dead ” shall have its way When Celia croaks. X When Celia rots, each poxy hole Will serve : she hath an hundred twats. Come finger, tongue, and fucking pole When Celia rots. Here…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 140

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

It gives me very little pleasure To dole out spunk by weight or measure To any other lady’s treasure, My darling. The wall hath holes — I do not woo them. The pillow creases — Je m’en fous them. The sofa cracks — I spunk not through them, My darling ! Italian boys have bulging bums ; Their well trained arsehole fairly hums. They shall not get my greasy comes, My darling. My hand forgets its ancient cunning. Before I knew you it was stunning : I could toss off some twelve times running. My darling ! Now I am guiltless of a stand. Only thy arse, …

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1904 · PDF PAGE 75

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…- ple-my-belly. With a heavy heart I set sail, and after a pleas- ant but uneventful voyage landed once more in England, to find that my little brochure on “ Cunts ; a few methods of fuckin’ ’em ” which had attracted the favourable notice of all classes, had been su- perseded by the lengthy and to my mind tedious monograph of a Turkish Mullah, entitled “ Arseholes : some thoughts about sucking me.” The table of my library (I was at this time vicar of Buckingham) was absolutely littered with ap- peals from the various dignitaries of the Church, …

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1904 · PDF PAGE 33

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…a wheelbarrow. Fortu- nately this extreme measure was not required, but for all that the fullness of these giant spermsacks caused me no little inconvenience at such games as football and the like. Occupied with my trouble, which modesty forbade me to reveal even to my parents, I wandered, nursing with thoughtful hands the bags of fecundity, in the park belonging to one of our local magnates, a famous distiller of old Scotch whisky, and reputed in venereal circles as a grand trencher man at a mutton-pie. But I was destined to unmask this fellow…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 57

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

a Teacup, my blessed little bag-of-tricks, was ever on the qui vive for a punk’s cuntlet, and a good old go at Cully-shangy. But now — He broke off and shed a silent tear. Reaching for a honey-pot, by which I here mean an actual jar of real china con- taining the saccharine produce of the really truly bee, he dipped his nervous nilnisitando into the glucose mass, and withdrawing, leant back and wearily chewed ginseng, while he cooled his throat with a strong infusion of Cantharides in old brandy. I am not what I was, he grumbled. These tales of…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 87

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…e left off. I’ll rub harder this time. Ah ! Adam ! Adam ! — Ha ! I thought I was with Adam — Oh, how lovely ! ” And she gave a delicious little sigh. “ Pardon this intrusion, Duchess, pray ” said a new voice, in the well-bred deferential manner that is so characteristic of diplomats. “ But is it the third Wednesday, is it not ? ” “ My dear Prince, how good of you to come. I was just hoping some one would drop in and cheer me up. This move has left me quite a wreck.” “ Ah ! Duchess, you are more beautiful than ever.” “ Bad man — ” “ Yes, and des…

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