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1904 · PDF PAGE 91

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…. Eve wriggled her fat bottom about as hard as she could, and Adam assisted as far as his constrained position would allow. The critical moment arrived and a deluge of warm liq- uids mingled to flood the surrounding parts. But Eve would not let him withdraw as yet. And at this moment Adam gave vent to a cry of pain. “ I’m bit- ten,” he said. “ That horrible Palaeopulex,” said Eve. “ No, it’s in you ! It’s pushing me out ! Get up ! ” And Eve jumped up alarmed to find Satan quietly emerging from his citadel. Adam jumped for a club. But by the tim…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 120

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ergy are partial to choir-boys ; I cannot approve of the taste. The wonderful beauty of cunt Is a thing for a poet to rave over ! At the moment of coming it’s grand ; They grip you and shake like a hand. They emit a low poop, like a grunt ; And the jelly boils, flows like a wave over ! The wonderful beauty of cunt Is a thing for a poet to rave over ! [122]

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1904 · PDF PAGE 47

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…was to be threatened, his faith in the Order of Things shaken, his whole soul thrown upon a novel and doubtful enterprise, and that at a moment when it might have been thought (go on, Hassan !) that Heaven itself had no more to offer him. It was one day of spring at W.nds.r. Mrs Ar- thur P...t lay in a bath of sticky sperm, not P...t’s, not the K...g’s ! Whose, then, you ask ? The sticky sperm of Kluckchoo, the Human Corkscrew. Fresh from his laurels at the Empire, the Hu- man Corkscrew had been commanded to appear before the K..g. If he can do…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 89

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ce-her worn-out passions were being frightfully stimulated, and she did not think she could possibly maintain her balance at the supreme moment. And Satan was really ven- turing terribly far. Up and up he writhed, and the mouth of her womb spasmodically closed and re- opened in vain. He penetrated more and more deeply, and at last, with a convulsive wriggle, dis- appeared entirely into the temple of love at the very moment Eve, in a strong shudder, consummated her suppressed desire and fell to the ground in a swoon. Adam was alarmed. Some burnt…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 43

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

fuck-sodden mouth of the Imperial buttock-broker appraised my all but succumbing senses that my job was over. At the moment of collapse I had been saved from utter rout and open shame. John Brown had come back to his own. And his own received him ! Chuckled the Archbishop at the conclusion of this historic sec- tion of his memoirs, during the recital of which I had been so excited that I had repeatedly been obliged to solicit the favours of the Ecclesiastic’s beautiful goat, whose congenial jelly-bag completed my practical sympathy with the sto…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 29

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…n my collection. Approach ! We ap- proached, and the brute, contrary to all expecta- tion, presented his rump for my inspection. After a moment’s hesitation he gave a loud snort of dissat- isfaction and walked to the table, from which he selected a card labelled “ Kiss my arse.” I drew back abashed. The engaging animal, at a sign from his master, now mounted the fattest of the venal women whom the Archbishop liked to have lying about the floor, and exposed a superb and succulent cream-stick of some fourteen inches in length. The woman lay on he…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 67

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ould, would, should, whip it. She had exhausted her auxiliary verbs and the auxiliary dildo (bought at the Auxiliary Stores) at the same moment, and the discarded godemich’e dropped idle to the floor. Allow me, madam ! Said I, step- ping forward for the first time. Thank you, father ! She answered, and I insinuated my poperine pear into her fruit-basket. She then got down to busi- ness, and her birch flashed in the air. Above the girl, the birch-rod bright Was brandishing like gleam of light ; The arse was dark below ; When with the ocean’s mig…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 65

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

… merry-arsed Chris- tian easing her yum-yum on a clergyman’s sore throat. With profound art she reserved her explosions till the supreme moment, and then, with one shriek hardly muffled by the tonsil-teaser in her mouldy mug, she would discharge her various se- cretions — vomit, frowsy towsy-mowsy fuck-muck, shit heralded by a Goetterdaemmerung of farts, and the rest, in an ecstatic touch-off, calculated to witch the world with noble arse-womanship ; thereby obtaining that physiological relief which seems to our modern scientific philosophers t…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 77

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…reamy, as I said be- fore, with a brief but glad hymn of praise to the God who had made us, and I withdrew my dripping bushwhacker for a moment in order to wipe it dry — nothing is so deleterious to the proper enjoy- ment of a game at Hey Gammer Cook as the too great slitheriness of the lady’s rattle-bollocks — and in returning it to its sheath, the lassie was so pleased that she forgot for a second her role for protecting herself against danger of impregnation. This has always been to constrict the vagina in two places : near the vulva, to tig…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 83

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ey sink lower on the bed. Their tongues mingle lazily ; the elder man with- draws slowly ; a pleasant sound announces his exit. Hardly a moment and the boy gives his lover a sig- nal. The latter turns over while Ambrose rises and sits over him while the sweet salt offering, spiced now by the god to whom it is offered, trickles dain- tily into the open mouth of the languorous man. Then the boy slips down into his lover’s arms : they share the incense with mingled mouths until the flavour is appeased and they swallow it with the first blush of re…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 25

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

… old tuzzy-muzzy ? You shall suck the oysters out of the kidney pudding if you’re good. Now — my boy ! I complied with dignity, and in a moment found the Archbishop on my back gripping my hair with one violent hand and grappling at my breasts with the other, while his sharp-beaked pond snipe tore open the folds of my wrinkled arse, ill protected by their six weeks’ leaving of shit, and began pumping out its short and spitty spend with the sound of a kettle seething and crackling. Enough ! I cried, and wedged a lusty turd against his tapering to…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 41

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ll things respectable : not to save life, no ! Not to ensure the greatness of her empire or the happiness of her people, would she for a moment condescend to any unnatural prac- tice such as you suggest. I am aware that a num- ber of horses have perished in the service ; but I can certify that our distinguished patient was not at the time in a condition to differentiate between the steed and its rider. What she wanted was live sausage for supper, and plenty of gravy ; now the worst is over — thanks greatly to your noble exer- tions, which I imp…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 45

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ice into her front and back paddy-fields, and with delicate enemata of boiling water caused it to swell. They stood away at the critical moment and with yell like ten thou- sand devils in torment the bowels of the wretched woman burst open and she expired in frightful ag- ony. The recital of this scene of lust, said the Archbishop, always moves me to tears. See ! And his tapering phallus was again the scene of a bril- liantly conceived and admirably executed frig. Yes ! resumed the emotional ecclesiastic, she had seen many a sight which if it w…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 84

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…rollable every minute. At last he took down his trousers and began to play with himself, hoping to ease a little his discomfort. At this moment Andrew glided forward and whispered “ If you speak we are both lost. Your dress . . .” The frightened boy made a movement of agony. He was terribly angry, and yet dared not speak or make the least sound. After the other affair he knew the Captain would never believe his story. The lusty lieutenant took out a weapon fiery and enormous, and began to seek admission. The boy, with all the force of the sphin…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 62

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…of con- stant buggery, without rest or respite, the rate of my tupping was practically unimpaired. But the greatest man is he who in the moment of victory imposes a reasonable condition of peace, not he who insults and drives to desperation an adversary perhaps ready to make a compromise mutually beneficial. Come, father ! I addressed the astonished priest. Let us be going : there are better turds in the arse than ever came out of it. Such was my fond farewell to Stephen Jimson. But Leila, who ran to embrace me, was for the first time in all he…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 35

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…fart testi- fied to the internal commotion so formidable an attack could not but produce in the lady’s dropsi- cal guts : profiting by a moment of slackness on her part, a second of unwary relaxation, and the resounding plop of my boyish belly gainst her mangy mount of Venus testified that I had taken advantage of her swiftly-repented oversight. But I won all too dearly the amorous victory. Caught in the vice of her hypertrophied constrictor cunni, I [33]

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1904 · PDF PAGE 52

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…ears — they all got the clap ! — I have smeared it in birdlime, and caught a record lot of eagles : I have buggered eight pythons at one moment : I have — But why boast, she piously interrupted herself, since it is but the grace of God ? Yet, for His Glory, I proceed. I have used it to climb the most inaccessible rocks : the Mittleggi Grat of the Eiger, the N. face of the Matterhorn, the E. face of the Zinal-Rothhorn, whose last 50 feet baffled the unequalled Bletzerstoch ; all, all have fallen before the dauntless dexterity by which I have thr…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 56

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

… of the passers by. He was not happy unless he felt that he had an arsehole into which he could run for shelter from the cold world at a moment’s notice. He wanted to feel that he had but to crook his middle finger and nine-inch knockers would come running up by the thousands to grope their little Stevie’s brown crack. I loved his coarse-skinned handsome face ; I sucked with considerable élan his fine but over- worked sugar-stick ; I pumped the rare but treacly semen from his gland ; I wallowed in the inkstand of his arse. I mixed my prolific s…

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1904 · PDF PAGE 61

Snowdrops from a Curate’s Garden

…good. Steven Jimson was (in the immortal word of Poe) a nearly liquid mass of loathsome, of de- testable putrescence. Do not think for a moment that my affection was shaken by so slight a cir- cumstance ! But I assure you — nay ! I swear it to you upon this holy Relic ! (He produced a piece of the True Touchher — home, with the Magdalene’s clap-juice sticking to it still, and reverently kissed it) — That there was not one ounce of that body of love that could reasonably be firky-toodled any more. As long as anything that could be called Viscosi…

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