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EPIGRAM Its perfectly true though, it sounds rather steep, That a ram can satisfy 80 sheep. Even so, I have doubts (though you tell me its true) If an 80 ram-man could satisfy you. [134]
…d meant to spin with the artificial dodo for a bit before giving up the water as hopelessly over-fished. He had better have stayed home, though, and kept a sharp look-out with the gaff for the serpent. This is what happened in his absence. Eve had done her days work, and was sprawl- ing in the sun with her tailor-made fur-lined dress within easy reach (fig-leaves, in the daytime, had entirely gone out, and were now only worn for eve- ning dress), and meditating on the curious events of the past evening. Silly thing that of Adams, she solil…
…nd pe ! It Is time the doctor see it, Or smell it : care I which ? Lest all who loved and licked your Fat oyster get a stricture : For though you are a picture, You are a rotten bitch. [101]
be fit for work tonight. The lioness used to lick it with some effect, I remember. Couldnt ask Eve to do that, though. It would degrade her, Im sure. I must try and raise her to my level rather than Damn that potato patch ! It must be dug over to- morrow, and only the old flint spade still. A man in Lord Gods position House of Lords, stake in the country, and all that ought to provide iron spades this is the only country planet for bil- lions of miles where science hasnt penetrated, so that young prince says dont believe hes a rea…
HOME THOUGHTS, FROM ABROAD O to be in Clara, Now her monthlys there ! And whoever spends in Clara, Finds some morning unaware That the tip of his prick in its brushwood nest Is red and inflamed and you guess the rest ! At least he is sorry he sped the plough In Clara now. And after chordee, when gleet follows, And zinc he injects and santal swallows ! Hark, where his twisted love-plant pees in jerks The mucus-laden urine of the lover, Wakes the gross hufflahs, scares the scampering quirks ! Thats the small stricture, makes you piss twice …
…d impressive behaviour Of thy stallion aquiline nose ! O eyes not of lust but of languor ! O lips not of flesh but of paint ! Bite hard, though of course not in anger, O, Stephane, saint ! When the stars of the heaven arc bust up, And the earth tails away from the sun ; Thou wilt still be as ready to thrust up Thy penis, till penes are done : And the boys that come northward from Naples Together shall cling and to thee. If ye cannot ape heaven, ye can ape hells. And so can the sea. O foolish and hideous hucksters That linger by bubbie and quim …
… I may one day not be chary For it all redounds to the honour and glory Of Micturating Mary. But the Bishop ruined the Vicars daughter. Though he usually kept it hidden, he Had a tool in length a yard and a quarter. And it jiggered a hole in her kidney. Her beautiful golden urine turned To a mucus ropy and glairy And the meaning of pains in the back was learned By Micturating Mary. The doctors did all they could to save her. She throve on a diet ascetic. Till some silly ignorant bugger gave her Some gin as a diuretic. For fifteen years wit…
…ng guts of the enthusiastic celibate. King E....d, while yet P....e of W...s, had, as you know, indulged in every form of vice. But no ! Though the plug-tail of Fred [44]
…ek, as the saying goes, for in truth her pox eaten twat en- gulfed it whole. His anus accommodated Norman, while Octavius, whose wimble, though vigorous, was minute, enjoyed his umbilicus. Peter and Quintus buggered his legs, and Robert and Samuel the bend of his knees. Maud, Nellie, Olga, Polly, Queenie and Rosie had the five toes and the heel of his left foot, while on his right were Sybil, Thais, Ursula, Vivien, Wilhelmina and Xanthippe ; Yvonne and Zelma were frigging like wild things against his voluptuous patellae. Robert, Samuel, Thomas …
… that greasy fountain which you could never have done by the honest pressure of your flabby Dripping Well of Knares- borough ? No, queen though you may be, an hon- est man condemns you to your face. The bit of stiff was Lady B....es and T....s should have been al- lowed to swallow the sex sauce, whereas you, haughty and selfish woman, cheated her tar bucket with your shrivelled crabapple, while, miser to the last, you took his perquisite to chew at your leisure with your minions, the dirty scavengers that gold still seduces to dip their luckle…
…ien Rouge, whose members are so honoured in the world of Art. There he met C . . . the brilliant but debauched sculptor, caustic of wit, though genial to his friends ; N . . . , the great painter, whos royal sense of light made his can- vases into a harmonious dream ; he also the sweet friend of Bacchus, who filled him with a glow and melody of colour and thought. There, too, were D . . . and L . . . , the one poet and philosopher, the other painter and I fear pederast. Twins in thought, the two were invincible in argument as they were sup…
…is bashful head, and no god altered the dread fiat, uttered even below half- cock : Thus far, and no farther ! My own modest arborvitae, though, as you may guess, shared no such disabilities. Advancing, I showed its quiet dignity to the first lady. This woman, who had so great an influence upon my after life, merits a few words of description. By race a full-blooded Ne- gress, by profession a threepenny-uprighter, by education a woman of singular charm and spiritu- ality, by inclination a sapphist and cocksucker, by disease a barrel, she was as…
…sgrace downstairs, like a whipped hound outside its masters door. The subject of conversation did not mat- ter. A fool reveals himself, though he talk but of greasing gimlets, in such a fierce light as beat [8]
… reciprocity en affaire damour. The Captain on his part only asked fidelity ; and indeed Monty had grown to love him so dearly that the thought of an adultery would have been insupportable. One day, how- ever, a sudden desire came upon him towards the most popular of the lieutenants, Andrew Clayton, a man of violent passions not usually associated with fair hair and rather timid grey eyes. Andrew saw the sly looks of the midshipman and one day went into his cabin and, stepping to his side with- out a word, gave him a fierce kiss, while his han…
…rest of bacteriologists, who had previously be- lieved that the latter animal was not susceptible to syphilis had declared in forcible though refined language that its a fair bugger, and ought to do my little Fannys job a treat. Eulogy, you will ad- mit, can no further go. To return : I was a healthy and well-formed boy, and my innate stern moral sense guarded me against the temptations into which so many youngsters fall nowadays. The diminutive size of my meat-skewer baffled all the attempts of my fiery-arsed nurse, for her well-worn sn…
…d to give a great treat to celebrate it. His numerous negro slaves yes, friend H..msw..th, I know you think I am lying, but my father, though living in France at the time of my birth, had subsequently bought a plantation in the West Indies, and I had dutifully gone out there for the joyful celebration his numerous negro slaves as I said before oh yes, you are a clever fellow, I know slavery has been abolished in most of the West Indies, but my father lived on a secret island, which is not on the map, being protected from observation by …
… stand. Such specimens of worms I never hope to see or smell again, and I trust that you will forgive my polluting your ears, journalist though you are, with such noisome stuff. (I can vouch for the faith- fulness of this description, for I know the swine well enough, and in no other than a book of filth would I have introduced any one of the three. Ed.) my artis- tic studies progressed but slowly, for much of my time was occupied with a liaison I had formed with Stephen Jimson, to whom the Ode (infra) is ad- dressed. This youth had the peculia…
…was but a boy !) when a yell of rage, like that of a famished tiger, resounded through the palace. Dashing aside all opposition, passive though it was, for the waiting-women could not get out of the way quickly enough, there rushed into the room a dark and gigantic mass of brawn. I was torn, regardless of the ligature, from my unsavoury perch, flung, in spite of my tender years, to the floor, and with a roar like the crash of a universe in its death-pang, a vast and hairy gut-stick plunged into the yawn- ing abyss which the lobster-pot of the g…