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I found myself swimming for dear life. This is what comes, I thought, witty even in my boyhood, of the Volunteer Movement ! Why, Galahad, said my mother, how beautifully your linen is starched this week. . . . . [26]
…e of this character, in the most approved style of Mary Wilson. To skate lightly over the preliminaries, there was a beautiful milliner, thought strict, but really very lascivious, and a little girl of twelve with a hairless crack complete, thought lascivious but really very strict : and her schoolmistress, a tall woman of thirty with an arse like a steam-roller, a coyote like a slatequarry, and a clitoris like Lord Penrhyn, for it had been known to stand out for seven years against the demands of the work- man. They got the little girl at a di…
…ergence from the normal. So many, so fickle, are the combinations which con- stitute Cerebrin, Lethicin, and the rest ; so subtly is the thought dependent upon changes proximate or remote in the composition of the organism, that we must expect character which is but the statement of the sum of deep-seated habits of thought to show similar instability. The word habit may seem to invalidate such a conclu- [1]
…proved quite Arcadian beneath. He was in bed in a jiffy, and discovered heat and moisture to an extent unwar- ranted by the climate. I thought you would never come, love, sighed the charming middy, with re- sourceful tact, so Ive been whiling away the time. Im here now, said his lover, and applied his lips to the dark altar of his desire. That was very moist too, and the Captains inquisitive tongue soon pene- trated its secrecies and became aware of a strong warm taste as of incense recently offered. I envy you your amusement, he…
…t made his can- vases into a harmonious dream ; he also the sweet friend of Bacchus, who filled him with a glow and melody of colour and thought. There, too, were D . . . and L . . . , the one poet and philosopher, the other painter and I fear pederast. Twins in thought, the two were invincible in argument as they were supreme in their respective arts. Often I have sat, a privileged listener, while D . . . s cold acumen and L . . . s superb indignation, expressed in fiery swords of speech, would drive some luck- less driveller from the ro…
… in the Order of Things shaken, his whole soul thrown upon a novel and doubtful enterprise, and that at a moment when it might have been thought (go on, Hassan !) that Heaven itself had no more to offer him. It was one day of spring at W.nds.r. Mrs Ar- thur P...t lay in a bath of sticky sperm, not P...ts, not the K...gs ! Whose, then, you ask ? The sticky sperm of Kluckchoo, the Human Corkscrew. Fresh from his laurels at the Empire, the Hu- man Corkscrew had been commanded to appear before the K..g. If he can do that with his body, what will …
LIMERICKS I There was an old man of Manchuria, Who suffered from painful dysuria, It was not (yes, you thought it) From a girl that he caught it, But from trying to read Brownings Luria. II There was a young scholar of Spy Hill Who retired after lunch to a high hill. Said his friends Well, how was it ? A healthy deposit ? He sighed Vox, et praeterea nihil. III There was a young man of Cape Town, Who acquired European renown By sucking his come From his bugger-boys bum, Swallowing it, and keeping it down. IV There once was a Kensingt…
… we know not of. Thus chordee doth make cowards of us all ! And thus the native need of urination Is sicklied oer with the pale cast of thought And enterprises of great piss and po, meant With this regard, their currents corkscrew turn And lose the name of pumpship. Soft you now ! The fair Ophelia ! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remembered. OPHELIA. Good my lord, How does your honour for this many a day ? HAM. I humbly thank you ! Well, well, well. OPH. My lord, I have remembrances of yours That I have longed to redeliver : I pray you n…
…d-oh ! Its better when I rub hard. There ! Its started again now Ive left off. Ill rub harder this time. Ah ! Adam ! Adam ! Ha ! I thought I was with Adam Oh, how lovely ! And she gave a delicious little sigh. Pardon this intrusion, Duchess, pray said a new voice, in the well-bred deferential manner that is so characteristic of diplomats. But is it the third Wednesday, is it not ? My dear Prince, how good of you to come. I was just hoping some one would drop in and cheer me up. This move has left me quite a wreck. Ah ! Du…
…s irksome to me as they were to Fra Lippo Lippi in Brownings im- mortal poem, and Art seemed a halfway house. Suiting the action to the thought, I soon found my- self in Paris, and rooms in a dirty little basement in the Montparnasse Quarter. My next-door neighbours were photographers, one, by name L..s, calling himself an artist, and his partner H...s, pluming himself upon his business capacity. L..s was the son of a charlatan parson once well known in Eng- land as a mountebank, while his mother, disgusted that he was a boy, brought him up as…
…tiated lust Ah God ! Ah God ! I love you now ! He slipped through the door and left Andrew Clayton to sweet memories and disquieting thought of the future. For Monty Le W... had never given him his love before. Monty was a dark, languid-eyed boy with jetty hair ; there was about him the indefinable air that sexual per- verts recognize so quickly, a closer union than ma- sonry can boast. In fact, he had not been on board H.M.S. Osiris a week before the Captain had pro- moted him to a dignity sufficiently high to excite the envy of the boys w…
his Grace to accord him the favour of an inter- view. His Grace thought the occasion insuffi- cient ; he suggested that a note in the Society col- umn would meet all demands. The reporter reminded him of the system of payment by the line. I am myself paid so much a lie ! retorted the cleric, witty even after such a night as he had spent. But I see your point ! di- recting a sly glance at the newsmans disordered toi- let. May I order you a closed fly ? he added with a twinkle. But the reporter was hard at work scribbling down these …
…to produce ejaculation, on which I naturally relied to gain my point. But not for nothing had I been trained in the School of Mines ! (I thought you were at this time but seven years old, I ven- tured. He seemed not to hear.) By pulling at her bubbies by their nipples, which were an excellent grip, I was able to start a swinging movement, whose aim the charming but unscientific girl did not suspect. In a few moments my ponderous balls were again thundering on her already weak- ened isthmus, and at the same time I was gather- ing myself, excited…
…le-toby to the pitch of another jumble-giblets, but it was with no hopeful outlook. Frankly, to myself and the surgeons read my gloomy thought I was compelled to look facts in the face, and admit that a very few hours now would see me sink a corpse at the very breach in which so many brave men had fallen fighting. For I was determined not to withdraw, even if the lady herself had been willing to let me off. This she was not. Her greasy and rotund arms held me to her bulging belly, the bloated and ill-smelling butter- bags flopping down with…
…nally meet a case in which distaste of the normal, vital scepticism, or some similar trait, may push the individual to contrary poles of thought and action. We shall err if we fail to rec- ognise the common basis of the audacities of piety and impiety which may manifest in the same man. As one of our great specialists has shewn, it is unphilosophical, indeed contrary to proved fact, to suppose that a man like Jabez Balfour is necessar- ily insincere. His cruel frauds, his callous scepti- cism are no less genuine and no more so than his narrow r…
… reciprocity en affaire damour. The Captain on his part only asked fidelity ; and indeed Monty had grown to love him so dearly that the thought of an adultery would have been insupportable. One day, how- ever, a sudden desire came upon him towards the most popular of the lieutenants, Andrew Clayton, a man of violent passions not usually associated with fair hair and rather timid grey eyes. Andrew saw the sly looks of the midshipman and one day went into his cabin and, stepping to his side with- out a word, gave him a fierce kiss, while his han…