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Page 110 of 1121929 · PDF PAGE 514
…y was breathlessly intense, the calm was somehow positive rather than negative, and seemed to conceal some huge menace. It was as if the heart of the world had stopped. I felt an indescribable awe, overwhelming in its solemnity. The act of paddling seemed almost a blasphemy. However, I made a fire on a rocky islet and cooked and ate my lunch, returning to the cottage in a curiously exhausted state. It was one of those days when the electrical conditions seem to abstract every particle of energy from one's nerves. The condition is familiar enoug…
1929 · PDF PAGE 563
…ne foot after the other. I had alighted at a horrible hotel in Russell Square thronged with hustling hooligans of the middle classes. My heart sank at the thought of going back there. I wanted to save the fivepenny bus fare. I came to the corner of Wellington Square and was suddenly seized with a direct inspiration to try my luck. "Try the sacred numbers, especially the Secret Key of The Book of the Law --- 31!" {889} Fagged as I was, I obeyed. The first number connected with my work was this very "31" and in the window was a card "Apartments t…
1929 · PDF PAGE 306
…, scorning corsets. Her limbs were lithe; her eyes bright and eager; her face aflame with the joy of perfect physical well-being and her heart exulting with the expectation of producing a new token of our tenderness before the end of the year. In these four months I had been mildly indisposed with indigestion for two days. Rose had had one slight touch of fever, and a baby a cold in the head which laster three days, and some minor digestive trouble during our stay in Yunnanfu. Not many families living in the most hygienic conditions in England …
1929 · PDF PAGE 364
… myself back among the only people on earth with whom I have ever felt any human affinity. My spiritual self is at home in China, but my heart and my hand are pledged to the Arab. I had begun to train Neuburg seriously in Magick and mysticism. The first point was, of course, to get rid of any prejudices and superstitions. This was not too difficult, he being a professed agnostic. But the second point was to train him in the technique. This was well enough as far as Magick was concerned, for he naturally possessed the poetic and dramatic instinc…
1929 · PDF PAGE 450
…age of the original antinomies which exist in one's mind between the ideal and the actual. A prose pendant to this poem is my essay "The Heart of Holy Russia",
1929 · PDF PAGE 518
…ffection on a single specimen. Perhaps also it was inhibited by the iron which was entering my soul inch by inch and being twisted in my heart by the pitiless love of the Secret Chiefs of the Order. {817} 1. WEH note: Actually, it's a shaggy dog story. It was this, without doubt, which threw a monkey-wrench into my creative machinery and its destructive energy may be measured by the frightful circumstance which must next be recorded. The city of New Orleans is divided into two main sections by a broad thoroughfare. On one side is the Spanish qu…
1929 · PDF PAGE 546
…ll call her Poupée." This was delightfully apt and was adopted on the spot by acclamation. The newcomer fulfilled the dearest wish of my heart. As a man only one gift would have seemed more excellent, and yet I dared not give myself over to gladness, for on the birth of the child I had inquired of the Yi King concerning her. She was symbolized by the 41st Hexagram, called Sun, which signifies diminution. My intuition, quickened by meditation upon this symbol, warned me to beware of getting grained to my love for my child, or nourishing my human…
1929 · PDF PAGE 506
…e for employing the strategy familiar to all men who have made up their mind to preserve their independence even at the cost of a broken heart. I telephoned straightaway to the Snake and asked her to lunch, after which we went round to my apartment. I was not moved by love; I simply wanted to torture the woman I hated as the woman I loved was torturing me. I made no advances; I was brutally rude; and to clinch the matter, I inflicted physical pain. I had unusually pointed canine teeth. I fix a fold of flesh between the two points; and then, bea…
1929 · PDF PAGE 427
…inary {679} dwelling-houses often possess an atmosphere of their own; some depress, some cheer; some disgust, others strike chill to the heart. Virakam of course was entirely certain that this was the villa for us. Against this was the positive statement of the people in charge that it was not to be let. We refused to accept this assertion. We took the name and address of the owner, dug him out, and found him willing to give us immediate possession at a small rent. We went in on the following day and settled down almost at once to consecrate th…
1929 · PDF PAGE 125
…onfirming my accuracy. No one ever suspected that this stunt had been prepared by my using the field glasses and learning the scenery by heart! I should have mentioned a short excursion which I took to Vera Cruz. My ostensible object was to see some cases of yellow fever. As a matter of fact, I was horribly afraid of the disease. So I picked an occasion when the port had shown a clean bill of health for the previous three weeks. I had an introduction to a local doctor and told him how sorry I was not to be able to see any cases. "Well, well," s…
1906 · PDF PAGE 148
…iscern noend.. . First cut the liquefaction, what comes last But Fichte’s clever cut at God himself? .. . I trust nor hand, nor eye, nor heart, nor brain To stop betimes: they all get drunk alike. The first step, I am master not to take.” This is surely the apotheosis of wilful ignorance! We may think, perhaps, that Browning is ‘‘ hedging” when, in the last paragraph, he says: ‘‘ For Blougram, he believed, say, half. he spoke,” * and hints at some deeper ground. It is useless to say, “This is Blougram and not Browning.” Browning could hardly ha…
1929 · PDF PAGE 225
…wo days later I came on him by accident, twenty- five miles from where I had shot him. My bullet had penetrated the lungs and grazed the heart. I cannot help thinking that there is something in the apparently absurd contention of certain mystics that life does not depend wholly on the integrity of the physiological apparatus, but on the will to live. I have dropped the most powerful animals stone dead with a single shot in the right place; but if that first shot happens not to kill him outright, he is so inflamed with fury that you can riddle h…
1907 · PDF PAGE 138
…f eneration are always cropping up in unexpected places, such as in Mr. Crowley’s brain—which is said to be pregnant—and in Rosa Mundi's heart—which contains a symbol sadly out of place anatomically. All this reminds us of the ways of little bo s; but surely Mr. Crowley might suppress these symptoms of the extreme youth 0 the virile spirit, and discipline his imagination with a study of the se rate functions of the separate organs of the body. We are quite aware that the old allacy that sex is the source of all the passion of the human race sup…
1929 · PDF PAGE 452
…y were therefore ordered to change their position, each being ejected from the city whose language he spoke, and whose affairs he had by heart, into one where the conditions were utterly unfamiliar and the language unintelligible.
1929 · PDF PAGE 341
…and joining in the general festivity. It literally took away one's breath. The only way I can express it is that one breathed with one's heart instead of with one's lungs. I had got into not dissimilar states while doing Pranayama, but those had been passive, and this was a --- no, active is a pitifully inadequate word --- I felt myself vibrating with the energy of the universe. It was as if I had become conscious of atomic energy or of the force of gravitation, understood positively and not merely as the inhibition to rising from the ground. I…
1929 · PDF PAGE 446
… the balanced forces of matter, and the name Yeheshuah is therefore that of a man made divine by the descent of the Holy Spirit into his heart, exactly as the name George means a farmer. This exegetical method is not a modern invention. When Jehovah selected a family to be the father of Israel, he changed the name HB:Mem-final HB:Resh HB:Bet HB:Aleph (243 = Abram) Father of Elevation into HB:Mem-final HB:Heh HB:Resh HB:Bet HB:Aleph (248 = Abraham) Father of a multitude; and by way of compensation changed HB:Yod HB:Resh HB:Shin (510=Sari) Nobili…
1929 · PDF PAGE 553
…s private estate, vaulted the {873) wall at the back and spurted up the slope as if the devil were at his heels instead of merely in his heart. This was the beginning of the end. Even after he had regained sanity in most matters, he clung to the conviction that his adventure on the Rock had initiated him to a Grade far superior to mine. I should, of course, have been only too glad if this had happened. The decaying debris of my Oedipus complex still stinks, which stink being interpreted may be rendered in English, "How I wish I had someone to g…
1929 · PDF PAGE 557
…austion of the stock had reached its climax. I learned later that he had already attempted suicide. He had tried to shoot himself in the heart with a revolver. One would imagine that it would have been safe to bet on his doing some damage. But no! His pistol was spiritually his twin. The bullet thought that it might hurt itself if it happened to hit a bone, so it skipped nimbly round his ribs and sought repose from the tribulations of existence in a comfortable cushion. I soon discovered the root of his rottenness. After all, there must be a st…
1907 · PDF PAGE 247
… 177 I flung out of chapel and church, il. 144 If you please, sir, a gentleman has called, i, 60 I had a fearful dream, li. 73 I have no heart to sing, il, 68 I hear the waters faint and far, 11, 106 I killed my wife—not meaning to, indeed, i, 182 I kissed the face of Flavia fair, iil. 60 I know. When Ramoth-Gilead’s field, i. 131 I lay within the forest’s virgin womb, il. 32 I looked beneath her eyelids, i. 98 Tl learnt at last some sort of confidence, ii. 68 I lie in liquid moonlight, ii. 34 -Ilove you. That seems simple? No! iil. 6 I met a C…
1929 · PDF PAGE 357
…forgiven, and always receiving the most austere rebuffs. At the same time she could not forgive Neuburg either. He took it absolutely to heart; he would never be able to get over having insulted the fairest and dearest and purest of God's creatures. Of course he would never speak to me again either. I let him suffer for two or three days, then one afternoon I went across to his hotel and told him that this nonsense had gone on long enough; and it was time for him to learn something of life; I told him the facts. He regarded them as outrageous l…