Thelema ScholarTHE ALEISTER CROWLEY COLLECTION
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Page 117 of 120
1929 · PDF PAGE 425

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…t Moritz, breaking the journey at Zurich. This town is so hideous and depressing that we felt that our only chance of living through the night was to get superbly drunk, which we did ... (Let me emphasize that this wild adventure had not the remotest connection with Magick. Virakam was utterly ignorant of the subject. She had hardly so much as a smattering of Christian Science. She had never attended a s‚ance or played Planchette.) ... Lassati sed non satiati by midnight, I expected to sleep; but was aroused by Virakam being apparently seized w…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 279

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…ower of the Bengali into a lot of dirty little bits. Their hearts bleed for Bengal. So, if you should have happened to hit somebody last night, they will be very indignant and bring you to trial. You will be instantly acquitted, but they will invent some scheme for having you tried again, and acquitted again, to show the sincerity of their love for the Bengali, whom they are out to smash." "Then you advise me," I said innocently, "to say nothing?" "Indeed no," he said tempestuously, "as a sworn barrister, it is my duty to advise you to report t…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 20

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…sual old maid, who always filled me with intense physical repulsion; she was shiny and greasy with a blob nose and thick wet lips. Every night she tucked a bottle of stout under her arm and took it to bed with her --- adding this invariable "joke" --- "My baby!" Even today, when people happen to drink stout at a table where I am sitting, I manage instinctively not to see it. Her brother John had lived for many years in Australia in enjoyment of wealth and civic distinction. His wealth failed when his health broke; and he returned to England to …

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1906 · PDF PAGE 66

Collected Works (Vol. II)

…black Buddha-rupa. There was a calm like unto—might I say, an afterwards? : ‘ There is an end of joy and sorrow, Peace all day long, all night, all morrow,” he began drowsily. A shrill voice rose in a great curse. The hoarse anger of drunken harlotry snarled back. ‘*Not a drop more,” shouted my friend, adding many things. It was time for my return. ‘“‘T will let them know,” I whispered. ‘* Good-bye.” ‘¢« There is not one thing with another; But Evil saith toGood: ‘‘ My brother—"’"’ 2 he went on unheeding. I left him to his peace. My re-appearan…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 191

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…efinite difference in what one feels in two apparently similar storms. One will blow itself out in preparation {324} for a cloudless fortnight and the other will be the prelude to more Wagner. I was also perfectly convinced that Collie's ideas were correct. We had exhausted our vital capital; we were none of us fit to climb anything. In particular, we lacked the fine flower of vitality: the spiritual energy and enthusiasm. I doubt whether even a fortnight's fine weather would have restored us to the proper condition for an attempt on a mountain…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 575

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…Yes, he had had a pleasant voyage. Thank you, his health was excellent. Well, of course he was very busy. He couldn't possibly dine that night, but wouldn't we call at the hotel about it? We would and we did. He would be disengaged in five minutes. Would we please wait? It was the day of Northcliffe's funeral and Harrison got into communication with some friend who had been among the mourners. While thus engaged, Mencken appeared. I greeted him with enthusiasm though not {908} a little surprised at his appearance. I did not expect to see such a…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 82

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

… The dust of the rotten timber almost choked and blinded us. We suffered tortures from thirst, our water supply being extremely limited. Night fell; it was impossible to see our hands in front of us. We accordingly lit a fire to {152} keep off the jackals and other possibilities, which we heard howling round us. We naturally began to discuss the question of direction; and I said, "The moon will rise over there", and laid down my axe as a pointer. Eckenstein independently laid down his, after a rather prolonged mental calculation. When the moon …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 113

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…dly hot country. I was appalled to find New York intolerable. I filled a cold bath, and got in and out of it at intervals till eleven at night, when I crawled, panting, through the roasting streets and consumed ice-water, iced watermelon, ice- cream and iced coffee. "Good God," I said to myself, "and this is merely New York! What must Mexico be like!" I supposed that I was experiencing normal conditions, whereas in point of fact I had landed at the climax of a heat wave which killed about a hundred people a day while it lasted. I should have di…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 147

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

… aimed and fired. The cartridge failed to explode and the bull thundered past me before I could reload. If he had been charging --- good night! I took the lesson to heart and always carried a double-barrelled rifle ever after. Apart from the extra time needed to lower a single-barrelled rifle and manipulate the lever, which might well cause a fatal delay, there is more than a possibility of a cartridge jamming, which would leave one entirely unarmed. We jogged on wearily to Anuradapura. This discomforts of the coach were great, and the monotony…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 247

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…ies with a happy ending, bar absolutely mechanical d‚nouements, are where he is secretly gratifying his secret perversity, as in Twelfth Night and As You Like It. Our greatest novelists have complied with convention by inserting a love interest ready made; Tom Jones, Roderick Random and so on; but the interest is hardly even secondary. All our greatest masterpieces treat love in its proper relation to life. Jonathan Wild, Moll Flanders, Robinson Crusoe, Tristram Shandy, Gulliver's Travels, A Tail of a

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1929 · PDF PAGE 530

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

530 might call it an Arabian Nights theory. But one must dismiss one's prejudice from the start. This theory, however antecedently absurd, is constantly bearing fruit of new facts and new discoveries. This after all is what science requires. I have already given a number of other instances where fresh facts confirm the old. For myself in particular the ultimate fact is that I have been able to govern my life quite satisfactorily year after year on the basis of this theory. My life, interpreted by it, is intelligible, and when guided by it, succ…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 51

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…My experience with chalk helped to give me confidence. I was accustomed to estimate the breaking-strain of rotten material. Now, given a night's hard frost, it stands to reason that a bridge which has not fallen through by its own weight during the previous day would support my extra weight in the early morning. I began to test my theory, being, of course, careful to arrange my routes, so as to avoid having to cross snow- covered glaciers after sunrise. I noticed, however, that a great deal of care was necessary to avoid accidents; and this mad…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 251

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…oubtless heard of it," I ended; "it is called the haggis." My '52 Johannesburg completed that part of the "come-on". Tartarin dreamt all night of scaling a lonely and precipitous pinnacle and dragging a lordly haggis from his lair. For my part, like Judas in the famous story of the Sepher Toldoth Jeschu, I did not dream at all: I did better! Two mornings later, Hugh Gillies, with disordered dress and wild eyes, came rushing into the billiard room after breakfast. He exploded breathlessly, "There's a haggis on the hill, my lord!" We dropped our …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 85

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…st stories, "John Nicholson". A similar theme occurs in Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, "The Sire de Malétroit's Door", and "A lodging for the Night". There are similar ideas in oriental and classical literature. The fascination of the central idea thus seems a positive obsession to certain minds. Is it somehow symbolic of a widespread wish or fear? Is it, as in the case of the Oedipus complex, the vestige of a racial memory --- "In the beginning was the deed"? (This phrase magnificent concludes Freud's Totem and Taboo.) Or can it be the actual memor…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 411

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…that one does so exactly as a steam engine stops; when the physical conditions constrain one. Once one has got one's third wind a single night's repose is no longer adequate; it seems as if one had outraged nature1. I have found that whether I walked on third wind one hour, or thirty-six, the reaction was pretty much the same. On this occasion we had to lie up for two days before we {654} 1. WEH Note: This is confirmed by my experience in a 30 mile hike on Mt. Tam. in Marin County, California. Second wind before attaining the peak, small heart …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 576

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…, she had erected a superstructure of sexual ethics which bored the educated, excited the suppressed, and scandalized the orthodox. That night she was to be the lioness at a reception at Robinson Smith's. I said, "What rot this sensation stunt business is. I'll bring a girl who wears knickerbockers for their convenience in playing Thelema and climbing rocks in Sicily. This Miss Burr will look like a model of Madame Tussaud's beside the original." I did not know that Jane Burr was to be escorted by Mencken himself, and he told her what I had sai…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 580

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…ethought me of Norman Mudd. Since the skirmish at Cambridge, he had sunk below the horizon, having emigrated to the most barbarous and benighted realms of perdition; he had in fact become lecturer in applied mathematics at Grey University College, Bloemfontein. All these years, his conscience had never ceased to accuse him in respect of his conduct at Cambridge. He thought of it as the "great betrayal". For my part, I find every excuse for him. He was hardly more than a boy, without resources, friends or influence. Against him were arrayed the …

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1929 · PDF PAGE 551

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…were reduced to shamefaced stammering. My cheerful calm daunted them. Sullivan, selfish and stupid, actually proposed to hurry back that night to Paris, though Sylvia was obviously fagged out with the journey of the day before, to say nothing of her having set her heart on spending a few days enjoying the beauties of the Riviera --- it was her first escape from England. On that point only did I try to influence Sullivan. He saw that I was right and grudgingly agreed to give the poor child a few days' enjoyment. With this exception I concentrate…

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1929 · PDF PAGE 128

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

…ischief-maker, maudlin and muddle-headed. The ghastly hag put it all round London and New York that I had entered her daughter's room at night in my Body of Light. I don't know whether she went beyond the

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1929 · PDF PAGE 534

Confessions of Aleister Crowley

534 and, knowing that I was in possession of the secret he sought, spent a whole night shivering in the corridor with his ear to the keyhole of my bedroom, in the hope of hearing something that would give him a hint. He even tried to use his own mistress to spy on me: when she came from my room, he started to browbeat and bully her into giving the minutest details of her adventure! The best of the crowd was a young doctor who had sufficient sense to see how stupid the rest were, to disdain the bluff of the advertising adepts, and to realize tha…

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