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Page 153 of 1591929 · PDF PAGE 279
…ad been the butt of every gully at school, I had suffered the agonies of knowing myself a coward and a weakling. My whole life seemed at times to be one vast and slimy subterfuge to cozen death. Yet in the past month there had been a dozen outrages upon Europeans in Calcutta, some of them culminating in the most brutal murder. And I was the only Englishman who had come out on top. I had lost four rupees, eight annas, it is true; but I had won the victory, one against six. Thornton was in bed when I arrived; but I had not hesitation in making hi…
1929 · PDF PAGE 20
…cle's attitude to life. His sense of humour. When I called him "Uncle", he would {55} snigger, "Oh my prophetic soul, my uncle!" But the time came when I knew most of Hamlet by heart, and when he next shot off his "joke", I continued the quotation, replying sternly, "Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast!" --- I am, in a way, glad to think that at the end of his long and obscene life I was reconciled with him. The very last letter he ever received from me admitted (if a little grudgingly) that his mind was so distorted that he had really n…
1929 · PDF PAGE 222
… were walking towards the Pont Alexandre III when it met {371} Vestigia, as we always called Mrs. Mathers. I had not seen her for a long time and we started an animated conversation. I noticed nothing peculiar. I do not live in the world of phenomena: I only visit it at rare intervals. I had forgotten Rose's existence. When Vistigia had gone, I realized that I had not introduced her to my wife. She did not ask me who it was. I told her. "Oh," said she, "I thought it was some model that you knew in the old days." The words came as a terrific sho…
1929 · PDF PAGE 456
456 {721} one thing, all communications with the outer world were completely cut off for sometime. It had been arranged that I should receive a daily report from London from my secretary. None arrived for five days; and that although nothing had gone wrong in London. No explanation was ever forthcoming. This is one of the many incidents tending to similar conclusions, all explicable only on the theory that the natural energy, which is normally present and is necessary to the occurrence of certain types of event, had somehow been inhibited. The …
1929 · PDF PAGE 189
… him; two of them were all right; but the third was a mountain with a dagger and he was afraid that it would stab him. I did not at that time realize the significance of the delusion. Today it is obvious that the fear and fascination of the hills had got mixed up with that of the phallus, thus determining the character of the symbol. As things were, I could merely report that he was insane, and the doctor continued the treatment of keeping him continuously under morphia. {322} 40 The twentieth was fine; and we constructed a sledge on which Pfan…
1906 · PDF PAGE 66
…e in a great curse. The hoarse anger of drunken harlotry snarled back. ‘*Not a drop more,” shouted my friend, adding many things. It was time for my return. ‘“‘T will let them know,” I whispered. ‘* Good-bye.” ‘¢« There is not one thing with another; But Evil saith toGood: ‘‘ My brother—"’"’ 2 he went on unheeding. I left him to his peace. My re-appearance restored harmony. The 1 ‘*Glory to the Blessed One, the Perfected One, the Enlightened One.” It is the common Buddhist salute to their Master. 2 These quotations. are from Swinburne’s ‘* Tlic…
1929 · PDF PAGE 41
… struggled on homewards and reached the top of Rossett Ghyll Pass shortly after nightfall. There was a bright moon, but I had a terrible time picking my way down the path. I must have been a little light-headed from exhaustion and there was a Dantesque quality in the long climb among the blinding white patches of light and the jetty shadows. At the bottom of the pass I met a small rescue party who had just started out to look for me, and reached home about eleven o'clock. It was, in its way, a remarkable performance of a boy. Another incident i…
1929 · PDF PAGE 202
202 I went through life at this time with a kind of cynical bonhomie; nothing was really any particular good, so I might as well do what was expected of me. I wrote even of Buddhism with a certain detached disenchantment, as may be seen by reference to my Summa Spes, which I published separately (twelve copies contain the portrait of me by Haweis and Coles, subsequently reproduced in volume II of the vellum edition of my Collected Works) and sent to some of my friends in Paris on my departure for England. After Rodin, the most important of thes…
1929 · PDF PAGE 404
… causes and bring his interlocutor to realize the entire vanity of human effort. The moral was, of course, "Get right with God." At this time the consciences of men were much exercised, as our fathers put it, with regard to the monument which Jacob Epstein had made for the tomb of Oscar Wilde in Pčre-Lachaise. This monument had been on exhibition in his studio in London for some months and the most delicately minded dilettanti had detected nothing objectionable in it. No sooner had it been put in the cemetery than the guardian objected to it as…
1929 · PDF PAGE 515
…t possible condition to observe. My perfectly impersonal interest, and of course my scientific training, stood me in excellent stead. My time sense was markedly altered, much as I have described in the account of the attack on me in Calcutta. I was thus able to observe the events of what was probably not more than five seconds as if it had been as many minutes. I thought the phenomenon of sufficient interest to record; and wrote a brief description to the New York Times. The result was surprising. I found myself inundated with letters of inquir…
1929 · PDF PAGE 70
70 One day I took my cousin Gregor, who by this time was married and had discovered that his life was not worth keeping. We made the second ascent of the north-north-east ridge of Mont Collon. It is a long and severe climb. The conditions were very bad and Gregor was quite unequal to this class of climbing, so that I had to pull him up most of the way. We were very late on the mountain in consequence. I had no idea of the best way down, but decided to try the short and precipitous route which leads to the level glacier above the Vuibez Sracs. …
1929 · PDF PAGE 163
…-- his orders were that the rest of us could do as we liked; but Eckenstein would not be allowed to enter Kashmir. We asked why. At this time The Book of the Law not having yet been given to mankind, he was unable to reply, "Enough of Because! Be he damned for a dog!"2; but we understood him as uttering "words to that effect" in his strong silent way. We finally induced him to face Eckenstein; who, with his usual aplomb, put the poor man into a dilemma at once. He wanted to know whether he was or was not arrested. "Heaven forbid," said the D.C.…
1929 · PDF PAGE 217
…th Rose and struck me as perhaps the tamest and dullest specimen of humanity that I had ever met. Gerald was playing golf, which at that time was rather daring; not quite the thing you would confess to your friends in London. I had no clubs and he played mostly with Hill. Thus it happened that at lunch on the eleventh of August Rose and I got into conversation. There is something in my character which makes people confide in me. I think the bottom of it is my chastity. They instinctively understand that I have no personal axe to grind; that I s…
1929 · PDF PAGE 229
…uld have penetrated a hide that came near to turn the edge of my surgical knife. The heaviest weapon and the truest eye and hand may sometimes fail to account for the smallest of God's creatures. I could not understand why my 10-bore Paradox seemed so ineffective against small birds. One day I came across a rat-snake, nineteen feet long, and said, "This time I will bruise your head and I bet you don't bruise my heel." I was within a few yards of him and fired several times. He moved off with leisurely disgust; he could not imagine what my game …
1905 · PDF PAGE 231
… altogether misleading term 5 monodrama is perhaps better. It is really a series of in- trospective studies; not necessarily a series in time, but in psychology, and that rather the morbid psychology of the Adept than the gross mentality of the ordinary man. It may help some of my readers if I say that my Tannhiuser is nearly identical in 1 * Yogi” is ‘‘one who seeks union,’ 2.é. with the Supreme, 2 Browning, ‘Mr. Sludge the Medium.” 3 Philosophers. 4 Berashith, g.v. iufra, vol. il.
1929 · PDF PAGE 403
… fear is quite ill founded." For a moment I thought that a semi-colon might have been changed into a comma. As to the other point, I sometimes wonder whether I have not been affected by an incident of early childhood. My father used to go evangelizing the villages on foot. I would go with him. Sometimes he would give people tracts and otherwise deal straightforwardly, but sometimes he did a very cruel thing. He would notice somebody cheerfully engaged in some task and ask sympathetically its object. The victim would expand and say that he hoped…
1929 · PDF PAGE 434
…e matter of appreciating first-class work, it is perfectly incomprehensible to me that he should be such an arrant blockhead. Most of my time in 1912 was taken up by the O.T.O. The Order was a great success and ceremonies of initiation were of almost daily occurrence. I was also very busy helping Laylah in her career. The problem was not easy. I soon discovered that it was not in her to undergo the dreary remorseless drudgery demanded by ambition to the classical concert platform. Striking too as her success had been in the Rites of Eleusis, it…
1929 · PDF PAGE 530
…of love whereby I nourished their lives. In the morning, though badly bitten all over, there was no inflammation whatever; and from that time on they never bit me at all. I soon recovered the powers of Pratyahara and Dharana. My mind became still; the impact of impressions ceased to obsess me, I became free of the illusion of the reality of material things. All events became equally indifferent, exquisite phrases in an eternal symphony. (Imagine listening to
1929 · PDF PAGE 51
…e middle man is deprived almost completely of any freedom of action. Whenever the ground is so difficult that only one man can move at a time, a party of three takes not half as long again but twice as long as a party of two, since the operation of pulling in a section of rope is duplicated. The speed of a party means a great deal to its safety. As regards nightfall, weather conditions, and avalanches or falling stones, two is evidently much safer than three. Another point is that it is at least twice as hard to find two competent companions as…
1929 · PDF PAGE 246
… got on the job, the magical assaults ceased; and, deprived of the stimulus to perform Magick, my interest faded once more. We spent out time in sport an society, tempered by pregnancy, as if there were no hereafter. I used my official titles and position without emphasis, very much as a peer takes advantage of his social privileges without ever giving a thought to the Hose of Lords as a political institution. On July 28th my wife gave birth to a girl, called Nuit Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebel Lilith. Nuit was given in homage to our Lady of…