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Page 50 of 781922 · PDF PAGE 113
…hy, hang it, the man was all kinds of a scoundrel. Every one said so. Why did he want to butt in? Nobody asked him to meddle. I said something of the sort to Lou, and she told him off very wittily. “You've saidit, Cockie,” she cried. ‘‘ He’s a meddler, and his nature is to be rotten before he’s ripe.” I remembered something of.the sort in Shakespeare. That was the best of Lou; she was brilliantly clever, but she never forced it down one’s throat. At the same time, as I said, the man stuck in my gizzard. It annoyed me so much that we took a lot …
1922 · PDF PAGE 139
…hey had searched us and removed our stand-by, the dear little gold-topped bottle! I might have got myself into a mood to laugh the whole thing off, as had so often happened before; and I realised for the first time the dreadful sinking of heart that comes from privation. It was only a hint of the horror so far. I had enough of the stuff in me to carry me through for a bit. But, even as things were, it was bad enough. I had a feeling of utter helplessness. I began to repent having repulsed the advances of my fellow prisoners. I approached them a…
1922 · PDF PAGE 145
…I. “ But please, this is absurd,” she protested. “‘ Send for our courier. He has known Sir Peter since he was a boy at school. The whole thing is shameful and abominable. I don’t see why such things are allowed. The consul seemed in doubt as to what to do. He played with his watch-chain nervously. I had sunk into a chair—I noticed they hadn't offered us chairs when we came in—and the whole scene vanished from my mind. I was aware of nothing but a passionate craving for drugs. I wanted them physically as I had never wanted anything in my life be…
1922 · PDF PAGE 287
…ad won the victory. It might be a matter of weeks or months ; we didn’t even care. We were content to have mastered the principle of the thing. It would be easy to attack those clusters of crosses, and eliminate them little by little. King Lamus asked Maisie to sing. Luckily there was a baby grand in the room. He sat down and began to accompany her. I found myself enthralled by watching the man’s mind work. It taught me something con- stantly. This last act, for example. We couldn’t go out as we were, and the singing would be an alternative dis…
1922 · PDF PAGE 301
…nds outright. And then I realised how very badly I wanted it. “ Well, certainly, Mr. Platt,”’ I replied, entering into the spirit of the thing, ‘‘ I shall be only too glad to give you my opinion for what it may be worth.” I could not conceal the feverish eagerness with which I shook out a dose. My pretence at sniffing with a critical air was ludicrously feeble. A child could have seen that I was shaken, body and soul, by the feverish lust to get it into my system after so long an abstinence. Time had purged my system of the poison. It found the…
1922 · PDF PAGE 359
…t in my mind about one of the gauges. “‘ And I must remind you that you are a gentleman ; and that when you came to this Abbey the first thing you did was to sign a pledge-form.”
1929 · PDF PAGE 19
…ndon such a point especiallyhe was incapable of fighting her. For there were times when he tried to persuade himself that there was nothing wrong in it. A brother church-warden had looked a little askance when the news of Gertrude's advanced ideas had come; but Theodore had stoutly and even a little sternly rebuked him with the original remark: To the pure all things are pure. It was knowing when to be bold that had made Theodore the fine business man he was. And very bold it was, for conscience makes cowards of us all. The secret shame…
1904 · PDF PAGE 2
…ent to explain the beauty of the Buddhist philosophy ; he knows a great deal about it ; he believes in it. But as he went on writing one thing became stronger and stronger in his soul — the living hatred of Christianity. Before he has finished he has descended to the babyish “ difficulties ” of the Hall of Science — things about “ the plain words of your sacred books,” things about “ the panacea of belief ” — things, in short, at which any philosophical Hindoo would roll about with laughter. Does Mr. Crowley suppose that Buddhists do not feel t…
1911 · PDF PAGE 61
…e beyond, though they be holier, are not holy unto thee, but only remote. (The sense of this passage seems to be, that the holiness of a thing implies its personal relation with one, just as one cannot blaspheme an unknown god, because one does not know what to say to annoy him. And this explains the perfect inefficiency of those who try to insult the saints; the most violent attacks are very often merely clumsy compliments). Now the Angel is spread completely over the globe, a dewy film of silver upon that luminous blue. And a great voice crie…
1922 · PDF PAGE 138
…settled the whole matter. English people on the Continent have an illusion that the mere fact of their nationality permits them to do anything soever. And there is a great deal of truth in this, after all, because the inhabitants of Europe have a settled conviction that we are all harmless lunatics. So we are allowed to act in all sorts of ways which they would not tolerate for a moment in any supposedly rational person. In the present instance, I have little doubt that, if we had been dressed as ourselves, we should have been politely conducte…
1922 · PDF PAGE 25
…least mean my life as Peter Pendragon, I didn’t even mean a life extending through the centuries, I meant a different kind of life—some- thing with which centuries have nothing whatever to do. And then Peter Pendragon came wholly back to himself with a start, and wondered whether he had not perhaps looked a little rudely at what his common sense assured him was quite an ordinary and not a particularly attractive girl. My mind was immediately troubled. I went hastily back to my table. And then it seemed to me as if it were hours while the waiter…
1922 · PDF PAGE 91
…owever, hardly any element of joy. I was back to my normal self, but not to what you might call good form. I was perfectly able to do anything required, but the idea of doing it didn’t appeal. I thought a bath and a shower would put me right; and I certainly felt a very different man by the time I had got my clothes on. , When I came back into the sitting-room, I found Lou dancing daintily round the table. She went for me like a bull at a gate; swept me away to the couch and knelt at my side as I lay, while she overwhelmed me with passionate ki…
1922 · PDF PAGE 302
… “Why, how do I come in?” I asked in surprise, while a little thrill of avarice tickled my heart-strings. I reflected that what with one thing or another, I
1954 · PDF PAGE 132
…e very much alike in this innocence, this "naivete" which demands fairy stories with ever bigger giants. They cannot bear the idea of anything being complete and done with. So, they are always talking in superlatives, and are hard put to it when the facts catch up with them, and they have to invent new superlatives. Instead of saying that there are bricks of various sizes, and specifying those sizes, they have a brick and a super-brick, and "one" brick, and "some" brick; and when they have got to the end they chase through the dictionary for so…
1954 · PDF PAGE 314
…actions in fact are merely re-actions. They are, of course, entirely lacking in the Supernal Triad. There is therefore no question of anything in them which would persist through change. Perhaps it would be better to say that change does not really affect them. Another way to put it would be that they are adjectives, not nouns. They are merely sensible manifestations of the elements to which they are attributed , and to the letters of their name. Now, on the othe: hand, there is an entirely different type of angel; and here we must be especiall…
1922 · PDF PAGE 30
16 The Diary of a Drug Fiend unreasonable, equally repugnant to the better regulated type of mid-Victorian mind, the best thing you can do is to sleep with your forefathers. So that’s that. Good-night. I told you that Lou was “ quite an ordinary and not a particularly attractive girl.” Remember that this was the first thought of my “ carnal mind” which, as St. Paul says, is ‘‘ enmity against God.” My real first impression had been the tremendous psychological experience for which all words are inadequate. Seated by her side, at leisure to look …
1954 · PDF PAGE 140
…nt of mountain craft are unable to detect the position of covered crevasses. All such points you must decide for yourself; the important thing is that you should challenge any such ideas. Above all, do not avoid, or slur, unwelcome trains of
1954 · PDF PAGE 408
…n the Order the more will you fmd yourself pestered by people who have simply failed to understand this point of Magical theory. Another thing is that the business of teaching itself is a very tricky one; even such simple matters as travelling on the astral plane are not to be attained by any amount of teaching unless the pupil has both the capacity and the energy as well as the theoretical and intellectual ability to carry out successfully the practices. I have thought it most important that you should impress upon everybody these points. It i…
1954 · PDF PAGE 534
…xistence of such a being, the clearer it becomes that our supreme task is to put ourselves into intimate communication with him. For one thing, we shaH find that in the object of sense which we examine there are elements which resist our examination. We must raise ourselves to a plane in which we obtain complete control of such. It is found furthermore in the course of experiment that a great many of the apparent differences in our study conceal a hidden unity, and vice versa. Like every other science, both the subject and the object of the wor…
1954 · PDF PAGE 317
…y-going humorous style of Vivekananda is intelligible and instructive; the platitudinous hot potatoes of Waite are neither. The dreadful thing is that this assumption of learning, of holiness, of mysterious avenging powers, somehow deceives the average student. He does not realise how well and wisely such have conned Wilde's maxim: "To be intelligible is to be found out." I know that I too am at times obscure; I lament the fact. The reason is twofold: (a) my ineradicable belief that my reader knows all about the subject better than I do myself,…